


Tangled Web

by happy29



Series: Finding Peace [2]
Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:53:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 55,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy29/pseuds/happy29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fraser and Ray K, along with the help of Ray Vecchio, begin the search for Victoria Metcalf.</p>
<p>Sequel to 'Kryptonite'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Victoria

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to butterflyghost for your beta help and plot help. It is much appreciated. To everyone else who read 'Kryptonite' prepare yourselves for another journey. Enjoy and please feel free to leave me your thoughts...

The apartment was quiet when Ray woke up early in the morning. He and Fraser had talked until four am about Victoria and what she had done to Fraser. It was a long, painful conversation… one Fraser needed to tell and one Ray needed to hear. Ray got dressed and wandered into the kitchen to prepare coffee. Fraser was still sound asleep, thanks to the extra painkiller Ray had given him. He dropped some bread into the toaster and leaned against the counter, smiling warmly at the memory of what had taken place after their talk.

 

Fraser had led them to their bedroom, undressed them, pushed Ray onto their bed and covered his long slender body with his own. They exchanged kisses and caresses and then made love. Ray smiled at the memory of earlier that morning. Fraser was a confident lover and had all of Ray’s sweet spots memorized. Fraser had brought him to the edge and back several times before they both fell off the cliff together at their climax, lost in each other. They lay tangled around each other’s limbs, neither one willing to let go as they drifted off to sleep together.

 

Victoria had hurt Fraser badly, Ray knew that from the file and from what he had been told by Fraser himself, yet he wondered if there still wasn’t more to the story that Fraser was still hiding. He glanced at his watch and decided it wasn’t too early to phone Vecchio. He hated the idea of calling the man, but this was to help Ben and if they were going to find Victoria, they may need the extra help. He checked the bedroom once again to make sure Fraser was still asleep and closed the door quietly. If Fraser woke up, he would have a warning with the opening of the door in order to cut his conversation short.

 

Ray took a calming breath and dialed the number out of their address book. He was hoping he didn’t get Stella either. He wasn’t in the mood for her harping over his choice of a lover. Ever since they had moved back from Florida, the tension seemed to have returned between the two of them. Ray would have liked to place all the blame on her, but he knew he gave her just as much grief over her choice in Vecchio… ‘What _did_ she see in him anyway?’

Stella answered on the third ring and Ray cringed… ‘Bite the bullet and be nice, Kowalski’.

“Morning, Stell. Is Ray around? I need to pick his brain.”

“Sure, he’s in the study going over some case files. Let me go get him. You’re up early aren’t you?”

“It’s eight in the morning, that’s not early.”

“It’s Saturday, Ray. You’re rarely up before noon on the weekends.”

“Well, I couldn’t sleep, hence my reason for calling. Are you gonna get Vecchio or not?” Ray asked agitated.

“Fine, I’m sorry. Here he is… say hello to Ben for me.” Stella replied curtly.

“Will do, thanks.” Ray relaxed his voice, lessening the tension. ‘So, Stella was _trying_ to be nice.’

Stella passed the phone off to her husband and shrugged her shoulders after she mouthed who was on the other end. Vecchio was shocked that Kowalski would be calling him. ‘Oh, god… what if something happened to Benny?’

“Stanley… is Benny okay?” Vecchio couldn’t hide the slight tremor in his voice.

Ray chuckled inwardly. He figured that would be Vecchio’s first response. “ _No_ … that’s why I just carried on a casual conversation with your wife. If there were a problem I wouldn’t be small talking with Stella. But I do need to talk with you about Fraser.”

“So he’s okay, nothing’s wrong?” Vecchio asked, relaxing slightly.

“He’s fine Vecchio. But, I need to know what you know about Victoria Metcalf.”

“It’s all in the files, Kowalski. That’s a closed subject for me.”

“Yeah well, you see, it _ain’t_ all in the files. I need to know your version of how things went down.”

“Why are you opening up this can of worms? Can’t you just leave the past where it belongs? That was a really hard time for Benny and me, but we made it through and we moved on. I don’t have anything to tell you.”

“Come on Vecchio, you know as well as I do that he isn’t going to tell me anything. I need your help understanding.”

“Why is this so important now, huh? Benny’s got a bullet in his back, isn’t that enough help from me? I can’t go through that again… _I can’t and I won’t_.”

Ray hung his head defeated… he was going to have to tell him about the diner. “There was an incident last night when we went out for dinner.”

“Incident? With Benny it’s never _just_ an ‘incident’.”

“Hey, come on man… that’s not fair. He’s your friend remember, don’t you want to help him?”

“You’re right, what did he do _this time_?”

“You know what Vecchio… _fuck off_. Forget I even called.” Ray clicked off the handset and tossed it onto the table. It was still early, but he grabbed a beer out of the fridge anyway, popped the top and dropped himself onto the couch.

 

Vecchio stared at the phone in his hand. ‘What just happened?’ He placed the phone on his desk and laced his fingers together, tapping his thumbs against one another. ‘Something was wrong enough to make Kowalski call him. What was it?’

“What did Ray want, honey… and on a Saturday no less? Everything okay with those two?”

“Umm… I’m not really sure. He was asking about an old case of mine. Wanted some info on it and I told him it was all in the file.” Ray continued tapping his thumbs together.

“Oh, what kind of case? I can look into it for him if you don’t have the time.” Stella busied herself at her own desk sorting through her notes on her latest case. “I’m free until Wednesday… well, not _free_ , but I have more time on my hands than I normally would.”

“No, you don’t need to get involved in this, it’s too messy. Too many bad memories… for everyone involved. Listen, I’m uh… I’m going to give him a call back, maybe go meet with him and give him _my file_ on the case. You okay by yourself today?”

“Sure, I can get my work done while you’re gone. We can order in tonight if you want.” Stella gave her husband a lingering kiss. When she pulled back she looked Vecchio in the eyes, “Play nice, Ray.”

“Kowalski can bite me, but I’ll try for Benny’s sake. I’ll be home for dinner, Chinese sound good? I’ll pick it up on the way home.” Ray kissed her again, grabbed his cell and jacket then headed out the door. Backing out of the driveway, he called Kowalski back. It had been ten minutes tops since he had been told to ‘ _fuck off’_. He had to find out what was going on.

 

Ray answered on the second ring. Fraser was still asleep and he wanted him to get his rest. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

“Yeah…” he answered roughly into the phone.

“Stanley… _what the fuck_? What kind of trouble is Benny in? And why did you hang up on me?” Vecchio tried to put as much anger in his voice as he could muster towards Kowalski to hide his concern for Fraser.

“Oh, so _now_ you care about him?”

“Listen to me, Kowalski…”

“No, _you listen_ … Ben was shot again last night…” Ray snapped into the phone. If he could punch Vecchio through the receiver, he would.

“ _What_? Why didn’t you _say_ something?”

“When did you give me a chance with all your, ‘ _What did Benny do this time?_ ’ bullshit?”

Vecchio took a deep breath, ‘Yeah… that was a low blow to his friend’. “I’m sorry, okay? _What happened?_ Is he okay?” Vecchio tensed up again.

“He’s fine, gonna be okay, it’s just a graze… but now it’s bringing back bad memories.”

“What _happened_ Kowalski?” Vecchio asked again, getting more frustrated with the blond detective as the seconds ticked by.

“We were having dinner at a diner around the block from our apartment. He left to wash up and while he was gone a big guy came in, started looking around… looked kind of suspicious. He grabbed Ben from behind when he returned from the bathroom, started choking him and demanding the money from the register. This guy was huge, Vecchio… just towered over Ben. I had my gun on him and he must have been high on something ‘cause he was strong and Ben was turning colors and there was a cop behind that he didn’t see, so I put my gun down and let the guy think he was going to get away. But… but the cop from behind was a rookie and he got anxious and shot the Incredible Hulk when he tried leaving. The bullet went through, hitting Ben.”

“Friendly fire…” Vecchio exhaled deeply. ‘Shit… it’s like Victoria all over again’.

“Yeah… not so _friendly,_ is it? Anyway, he was having nightmares last night and he starts talking about Victoria and how he needs to find her and will I help him.”

“And you told him ‘ _Yes_ ’? Are you _crazy_ Kowalski?” Vecchio pulled to a stop and turned into the nearest parking lot.

“He needs to do this, Vecchio. He needs some kind of closure; put her behind him once and for all. I don’t know what all happened, but I’m pretty sure you know more than what’s in that flimsy file of yours. You treat him like he is some Canadian version of Superman, well, he’s human, alright. He’s made mistakes, just like the rest of us.”

Vecchio sighed in frustration. He had been down this road with Benny before… he didn’t want to visit it again. “Alright, fine… where can I meet you? I’m not talking with Fraser there.”

“Oh… _yes you are_ … the three of us are going to get it all out in the open. I love him… okay, and if I’m going to help, you’re _both_ going to tell me _everything_. No more secrets from either of you.”

“You may not like what you hear, Kowalski… you ever think of that?”

“I wouldn’t have called you if I were worried about that. I’m worried about Ben, Vecchio.”

“Ok, I’m coming over. You got the coffee on? I’ll bring doughnuts for the wolf… a peace offering.”

“Oh yeah, likes _that’s_ going to make Fraser happy.”

 

Ray clicked off the phone and leaned his head against the back of the couch. He rubbed his forehead and temples with his fingers. ‘This could be a long conversation.’ He got up from the couch, went into the kitchen and took a couple of Advil for the headache he knew he was going to have later. He tossed them back with a gulp of water and sighed. He already had a pot of coffee made, so he poured water in the tea kettle for Fraser and made himself some more toast. He dumped the remainder of his beer down the drain and discarded the bottle. He had his back to the living room and felt two strong arms wrap around his waist. He momentarily melted into Fraser’s embrace. He felt Fraser nuzzling his neck and then a kiss planted behind his ear.

“Good morning, Ray.” Fraser whispered into his ear. “Who was that on the phone? Did you call your eye doctor?” Fraser was wearing only his boxers when he entered the kitchen. He was considering dragging Ray back to bed with him after he slid his arms around his waist and felt how good he felt in his arms again.

Ray could feel the smile on Fraser’s face. God… he _loved_ this man. He turned in Fraser’s arms and wrapped his own slender arms around Fraser’s waist, pulling him closer. He planted a kiss on his lips and then one to the tip of Fraser’s nose. He had started doing that one morning as a joke and it stuck and had become their morning greeting ever since. “Morning, Frase. No, I haven’t gotten that far yet. But I will.” He delivered a quick swat to Fraser’s backside and the Mountie jumped. “Better get dressed, Vecchio’s on his way over.”

Fraser released Ray’s waist and smiled warmly at the mention of his friend’s name. He went to the toaster dropping in his own bread. “Really? This early on a Saturday, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Ben busied himself with the tea kettle on the stove.

Ray prepared himself for Fraser’s reaction. “We’re going to talk about Victoria… _all three of us_.”

Fraser stopped what he was doing at the stove and turned to look at Ray. His stare was cold and his blue eyes, iced over. “Ray… why are you involving him? I asked _you_ to help me find her.”

“Because between the two of you, you’re going to tell me everything that Vecchio left out of that report.” Ray returned the cold stare, he didn’t want this to turn ugly so he turned his glare into a less menacing one and added a warm smile.

“He left it out for a reason.” Fraser looked down towards the floor his voice dropping to a whisper.

“And why is that, Ben?” Ray was talking with his hands and Fraser knew he was getting agitated.

“He was protecting me.”

“Don’t you think I want to protect you, too?”

“You don’t have anything to lose, Ray.”

Ray shook his head and crossed the kitchen and stood in front of Fraser. He took both of his hands into his own and locked their fingers together. “Yes I do, Ben. I have _you_ to lose. And I’m afraid if we go after the bitch and I don’t know _everything,_ it’s going to tear us apart and I can’t bear to see that happen. I won’t lose you to an old memory. I need to know and I need to be able to understand what she did to you.”

“Fair enough.” Fraser hung his head, shame written across his face.

Ray took his index finger and lifted Fraser’s chin. He could see the fresh tears forming in Fraser’s eyes. “Ben, _I love you_.  Okay? Nothing you tell me is going to change that. Understand?”

Fraser blink and a tear slipped down his cheek. He looked deep into Ray’s eyes and told him the truth. “I was going with her. I was going to jump bail and go with her. Ray would have lost everything.”

Ray nodded his head in understanding. “Yeah… that wasn’t in the file. Go, throw some clothes on and you can finish telling me what happened.”

Fraser retreated to their bedroom and came out a few minutes later wearing jeans and a loose t-shirt. Ray melted. ‘Even just crawling out of bed, Fraser looked good’.

 

Fraser continued his story while making himself a cup of tea. “By protecting me, he protected himself. He reported that he thought she had a gun. The only gun found was the one I had taken from her, when I found her at the train and she had dropped the diamonds. Her prints were on it of course as well as mine…but they never found her. ”

“Did you have anything to do with that… the diamonds?”

“She was blackmailing me. Told me that if I didn’t help her get the diamonds, she was going to the police and tell them I was a part of the bank robbery and that I had the money stashed in a locker at the train station. She had a key hidden in Ray’s house to that locker with the money. She called the DA and told them where it was to frame me and implicate Ray as well. She didn’t know that I had found the key. I tore Ray’s house upside down looking for it. I switched it with the one she had had in her bag before she pushed me out of the car she had stolen. I ran to the train station, met Ray there and he went after the money and I went after Victoria.”

“So you got her… why didn’t you bring her in?”

Fraser shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “I had taken the gun from her. That part was easy, she knew she wouldn’t be able to shoot me and I knew she wasn’t capable of it either.”

“But she killed that Jolly guy. She was a killer, Fraser.”

“I know that…”

“So, how could you let her go?”

“I had the gun and she said, ‘I’m getting on that train… you’re going to have to shoot me to stop me.’ She knew I wouldn’t be able to do that just as much as I did.”

“Why, because you’re not licensed to shoot a gun in the states?” Ray asked incredulously. ‘Oh god, he just sounded like Vecchio. “I’m sorry… Ben, that was uncalled for.” Ray squeezed Fraser’s arm and encouraged him to continue.

“No… because I thought I still loved her, even with everything she had done. I was willing to destroy everything I stood for, to be with her. When she started calling, ‘Come with me…’ I hesitated and then began running. I saw Ray running towards the train with the Lieutenant and he was aiming for her and I just kept running, fast as I could. At first, it was to stop her, and then the closer I got… it was to go with her. She kept yelling, ‘Come with me, Ben… come with me.’ And then, I jumped…”

“Who was Vecchio _really_ aiming for?”

“Ray…” Fraser flinched at the accusation.

“Sorry... he was your friend; of course he wasn’t aiming for you.”

“He _is_ my friend. At that point, he didn’t know I had decided to go with her. Hell, I didn’t know until I jumped. I found out later, he thought she had a gun and was going to shoot me. She had fired at us when we entered the train station, so he knew she had one at some point. He fired just as I made my decision and jumped onto the train. It was the biggest mistake of my life, and I paid a huge price. I’m not proud of what I had done.”

“We all make mistakes, Ben. We all have our weak moments when we forget ourselves and try to be someone we’re not.”

“Lying there on that platform… I told Ray I should be with her. That was when he knew I was leaving with her. I don’t remember anything after that. I just know that he stopped me and she got away.”

“Vecchio was worried about saving you, Ben. I’m sure getting you medical attention was more important to Vecchio and Welsh than catching her at the time.”

“I’ve lived with that guilt for a very long time.”

“That’s when Vecchio covered for you, saying that you were trying to apprehend her and he thought she was going to shoot you… so he fired.”

“Yes…”

Ray shook his head. “God, he has the worst aim…”

Fraser smiled and nodded. “I thought that for a very long time as well, especially while I was lying motionless in a hospital bed, not able to get away from his constant visits, from his guilt, while mine was eating me up as well.”

Fraser took Ray’s hands into his. “He has the _best aim_ , Ray. I wouldn’t be here with you, if he had missed. If you think about it, Ray had impeccable aim. He hit a moving target, dead center.”

“Yeah, except he missed the _right_ target.”  Ray added dryly.

“And now, I need to find her and bring her in. But I need your help. You keep me strong, Ray. I trust you to have my back… that is, if you’ll still help me.”

“I’m more than willing to help you, but I gotta know everything first, from you and not Vecchio. I told you… _I love you_ and nothing will change that. I just can’t see what you saw in her, after everything she had done.”

Fraser looked through Ray into the past. “She saved my life, many years ago… and I led myself to believe that she did it out of love.”

“Yeah… love’s a tricky thing.” Ray replied with a touch of sarcasm.

“Before I could change it, that lie morphed into a truth for me. I believed when she showed up in Chicago, it was by coincidence, and that she still loved me even after she had done her time in prison. I let that lie snowball, even as I jumped onto that train… I believed she still loved me.”

“I let Stella believe that I had wet myself as a distraction in that bank all those years ago. I know all about lies snowballing.”

“I was too blind to see what she was really doing to me and I couldn’t admit it to myself or to Ray until I was going through my therapy. It finally dawned on me what I had done to myself, what I had let myself become in her presence and I knew that I had been wrong. I just didn’t know how to make amends for anything without destroying Ray.”

“Ben… we all have made huge mistakes. It’s what we have learned from that that counts in the end.”

“I didn’t know what Ray had put in the files at that time. No one had questioned me about his report, so, I remained silent and let them believe what he told them. I was struggling with a serious wound and was barely conscious for a majority of the first three weeks I was in the hospital, so talking to me would have been pointless. By then, they had recovered the money she had stolen along with the diamonds. As far as they were concerned, it was a closed case. I couldn’t handle the guilt of destroying him as well, so I kept the facts between Ray and myself. And together, we moved on.”

“You forgave him?”

“Eventually… yes, and he forgave me as well. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened.”

Ray let a crooked smile grace his face.

“What’s so funny?” Fraser asked as he slid closer to Ray on the couch.

“I might have told Vecchio to um… ‘ _fuck off’_ this morning.”

“Ray…” Fraser scolded his partner. “What did he do to deserve that?”

“He was being a shitty friend, so I set him straight. He’s bringing doughnuts to make peace.” Ray raised his eyebrows and Fraser laughed.

Ray pulled Fraser into a kiss. “I’m sorry, Ben… but I needed to know.” He whispered into Fraser’s ear as he broke the kiss.

“I know, I understand. I’m sorry it took me so long to be able to tell you. I was ashamed, that’s why I never said anything before now.” Fraser pulled Ray into another kiss. 

“I’d never be ashamed of you, Ben. Everyone makes mistakes. Besides which, according to what truth there is in Vecchio’s file, the bitch targeted and played you, Ben.” Ray exclaimed softly.

Fraser began to push him down into the couch. He was stopped by a knocking on the door.

“That would be Vecchio.” Ray tried to push Fraser off of him but the Mountie resisted. “Come on, Fraser. He already doesn’t like me… let’s not give him any more ammunition to use against me.”

Fraser stopped kissing Ray’s neck and sat up quickly at his choice of words.

Ray cringed when he realized what he had said.

Fraser smiled softly at him and Ray relaxed. “If he needs ammunition, he can have his bullet back.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, Ben.”

“It’s okay, Ray.” Fraser kissed him again quickly then slid off Ray and got up to answer the door.

 

Vecchio was standing impatiently on the other side of the door, holding what looked like a box of doughnuts. Fraser smiled as he opened the door for his friend.

“Benny, how are you?” Vecchio gave Fraser a warm hug as he handed the box of doughnuts to Ray.

“I’m good, Ray. Thank you kindly.”

“How’s the shoulder? Stanley told me you were hurt.”

Fraser stole a glance at Ray, who had deposited the doughnuts in the kitchen and was retrieving coffee mugs out of the cupboard. “It will heal with time.”

Ray returned with two mugs of coffee. “Here Vecchio, have some coffee and let’s have a seat, okay.” Ray retreated to the kitchen to make Fraser a cup of tea before sitting down beside Fraser on the couch.

“Alright, I’m here. Let’s get this over with. If you want my opinion, you don’t open up old wounds.”

“Well, you’re not here for your opinion.” Ray added dryly.

“Ray…” Fraser warned.

Ray held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry.”

“I’ve told him everything, Ray. I thought it only fair that he hear it from me.” Fraser explained to Vecchio.

“Everything, Benny?” Vecchio questioned.

“Yes, _everything_. All the ugly details I never wanted to admit to anyone, he now knows.”

Vecchio sat forward in his chair and stared hard at Kowalski. “Everything he told you… stays between the three of us. It doesn’t leave this room. You understand?”

“I’m not stupid, Vecchio. I want to protect him just as much as you do.”

“Gentleman, please. Let’s not lose sight of the bigger picture here. I have to find her and I have to bring her in. I need that closure; otherwise she is going to haunt me forever. I need both of your help and I’m asking you to put your personal differences aside for the time being, for me.”

Both Ray’s apologized at the same time. Vecchio was the first to respond. “Okay, Benny, where do we start? It’s been how long since the bitch took off? How do you propose we find her after all these years?”

“It’s been almost four years since she disappeared. They never found her on the train.”

“Which means, she either disguised herself really well…” Vecchio continued Fraser’s train of thought.

“Or she got off right away.” Ray added. Both Fraser and Vecchio looked at him. “Think it through… everyone was going to be looking for her on that train. A cop just got shot and she knew they would be looking on that train for her.  She got scared and got off right away. She knew she wouldn’t have enough time to disguise herself and it would take too much time to seduce someone into helping her. Who’s to say she ever left Chicago?”

Fraser and Vecchio exchanged a glance before looking back at Ray. “She stalked you before Ben, when she found out you were in Chicago. It wasn’t by coincidence that she showed up here, she knew where you were. You’ve got to consider the fact that maybe she never stopped.”

Vecchio sat back in his chair and took a long gulp of his coffee. “Ray may be on to something Benny. When I first got back from Vegas and found out that my house had been burned down and the Riv, and your apartment… I thought maybe it had been Victoria that was responsible, or had a hand in it at least.”

Fraser looked at his friend and a frown appeared on his face. “You know, I had that same thought, but I never looked into it. I had to come to terms with there being a blond Ray Vecchio with experimental hair standing at your desk claiming to be you. I was a little confused and didn’t put any more thought into it.”

“Yeah… that had to have been rough, I’m sorry Benny.”

“You did what you had to do, Ray. You know… Victoria liked to burn things. Remember my father’s cabin had been burned, her sister’s car crashed over a cliff and her body was burned beyond recognition. I imagine if we had the body exhumed, we would find Victoria killed her as well to steal her identity. She lit all those damn candles in my apartment the first night she was there.”

“Ben… she’s a fucking pyromaniac. We need to talk to Greta Garbo, see if Victoria was involved in those fires as well.” Ray was up off the couch and pacing. “How soon can we talk to her?”

Fraser stood up and pulled him to a stop. He looked at Vecchio and back to Ray. “Are you both in this with me?”

“Absolutely…” was their combined reply.


	2. Seeking Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to the wonderful butterflyghost for the beta help. I hope everyone is enjoying this story. I own all mistakes. Please feel free to leave me your thoughts, Enjoy...

Fraser closed the door behind Ray Vecchio and turned to face his partner, his friend, his lover. Ray was relaxed on the couch with half a doughnut dangling between his fingers. Diefenbaker was at Ray’s knees drooling in anticipation of Ray giving him the remainder of said doughnut. “I have to do this. The two of you may think I’m all kinds of crazy…”

“I already think that.” Ray replied with a smirk while dropping the rest of the doughnut into Dief’s waiting mouth. “That’s what I love so much about you.” Ray petted Dief’s scruff and rubbed behind his ears.

“Can you call the prison? I’d like to see if we can talk to Greta Garbo later today.” Fraser ignored Ray’s playful response as he made his way to the couch. He picked up Ray’s feet and placed them atop his lap when he sat down. “Maybe she will be able to tell us if Victoria was involved in those fires the first day we met.”

“No can do Benton- buddy.” Ray leaned his head back against the arm of the couch and closed his eyes. He yawned and ran his hands through his spiked hair.

Fraser picked up Ray’s feet and dropped them to the floor. He stood up and made his way to their desk where he had the phone books stashed. “ _Fine_ … I’ll do it myself. I _am_ a police officer after all, although not for _this_ country _._ Surely, they will still let me speak to her _without_ you being present.” Fraser was trying to hide his irritation as he thumbed through the book looking for the correct number. He never heard Ray get up off the couch and slide up behind him. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and his breath hitched when he felt Ray’s strong arms slip around his chest and pull him close.

“Ben…” Ray whispered softly as he placed his chin on Fraser’s uninjured shoulder. “No one can talk to prisoners on a weekend unless there is an active, on-going investigation involving that prisoner. Victoria is a cold case. I’m sorry, but it’s going to have to wait ‘till Monday. Listen, first thing, Monday morning… I’m on the phone… okay? You’ve waited four years to find her, Ben, another two days isn’t going to matter in the grand scheme of things.”

“Okay, you’re right.” Fraser responded quietly as he closed the phone book and dropped his head. “I… uh, I think I’m going to go for a run.”

“You okay?” Ray asked concerned as Fraser turned in his arms.

“Yes, I just need to clear my head and perhaps a run will do me good.”

“You want me to join you? We can take Dief. It’s been a while since he’s been for a jog.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to go by myself. I won’t be long.” Fraser gave Ray a reassuring half- smile. “I’m okay, really.”

Fraser moved to the bedroom to put on his jogging pants and a sweatshirt. Ray looked towards Dief and shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry, fur-face… guess it’s just you and me.” Dief yipped at Ray. “I know you can still keep up with him.” Another yip by the half- wolf followed by quick run into the kitchen and back had Ray laughing. He leaned over and petted the wolf’s head. “I know, Dief… you’re not that old, yet. Ben just needs some space.” Dief nudged Ray’s knees with his nose and let out a whimper. “Hey, we’ll split another doughnut after he leaves, okay?” Dief whined again and lay down on the rug in front of the desk. “I know… I’m worried about him too.” Ray smiled to himself. ‘I should be worried about myself. I just carried on a conversation with a deaf wolf _and_ we understood each other.’

 

Fraser came out of the bedroom and made his way to the door. Ray followed him and pulled him to a stop with a light hand to the elbow. “You sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I won’t be long.”

“How far you planning on running? You don’t want to overdo it, Ben.” Ray glanced at the faint bruises forming on Fraser’s throat.

“Just a few miles, perhaps around the park. I’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

“You can breathe okay, no throat constrictions this morning?” Ray asked concerned. He touched Fraser’s throat and Fraser leaned into his touch.

“I’ll be fine, Ray.” Fraser kissed Ray softly, and then ran a thumb across his split lip. “How’s your lip?”

“It’s fine…” Ray shrugged trying to keep the mood light. “Nothing a few more kisses from you later won’t heal. Go on your run. I’ll call the eye doctor while you’re gone. Maybe Dief and I will finish off Vecchio’s doughnuts.” Ray gave Fraser another kiss and a swat to the backside before ushering him out the door.

 

Ray went to the kitchen and true to his word, split another doughnut with Diefenbaker. He patted the wolf on the head and went to the phonebook Fraser had left out and began thumbing through looking for his eye doctor. He set up an appointment for the following week to have his eyesight checked and discussed having the vision correction surgery and his reasoning behind it. He wasn’t going to let his poor eyesight put Fraser in danger again.

Ray poured himself another cup of coffee and was about to switch on the TV when the phone rang. It was Vecchio. He sighed at the sound of the man’s voice. ‘Wasn’t he just here an hour ago?’ Vecchio and Ben were friends, and Ray was trying to form a friendship with him, but it wasn’t easy.

“Kowalski, It’s Ray. I know I was there like an hour ago, but I was talking to Stella about Victoria and Benny needing to find her and she suggested having the two of you over for dinner. We can talk about how to go about finding Victoria.”

“Sure, dinner sounds good. Fraser will like that, you know, you and me… getting along at the same table.” Ray laughed into the phone. “We can get along, right? I mean two meals in one day isn’t going to put us over the top is it?”

“I think I can tolerate you for one more meal, Stanley.” Vecchio ribbed Ray back.

The truth was the two Rays were finding it easier to be in each other’s company. They seemed to have found a common ground after Ray and Fraser returned from Canada seeking the hand of Franklin. Ray had found Fraser and Vecchio had found Stella and the two couples had become friends. Vecchio and Ray still egged each other on when given the chance, but it was now fueled by a forming friendship.

Ray’s tone grew serious. “You know Ben wanted me to call the prison already today.” Ray knew it was probably a bad idea to go after Victoria, but it was something Fraser thought he needed to do, so he was going to support him.

“Figures... You know Kowalski, I’m not sure this is really such a good idea.” Vecchio admitted. “I’m just worried that if we do find her, Fraser may not be able to tell her ‘no’ again and someone’s going to get hurt.”

“I agree with you, but I have to have his back on this. Let’s find her and put the crazy bitch behind bars.”

“Even if you’re the one that ends up getting hurt?” Vecchio said cautiously.

“If you’re going to help, you have to stop thinking that Fraser is going to go running back to her the second he lays eyes on her. You think I mean that little to him that he would just use me to help find her and then dump me and take off with her?”

“Kowalski…”

“You don’t have much faith in him then do you? It’s not about _us_ Ray… this is about Ben finding closure and moving on past Victoria. I think he has more nightmares about her than he lets on. It needs to end and the only way that’s going to happen is to go find her. If you don’t want to help, _fine_.”

“I’m sorry, okay. I have faith in Benny… I’m just not so sure about the faith I hold in myself anymore. This isn’t easy on me either. I have a hard time remembering that he’s just like the rest of us. It’s just that he’s always had these high standards that he held himself too and when he cracked and let her in… he just fell apart.”

“And you felt like you were left to clean up the mess?”

“Yeah something like that. It was just difficult to believe that he would let himself fall for someone that evil, and then to want to leave with her.”

“Were you really aiming for Victoria?”

“Fuck’s sake Kowalski, _what the hell do you think_? You think I was seriously trying to shoot him? _My best friend?_ Now look who doesn’t have faith in people.”

“Sorry… but I had to know where you stood. Now I know.”

“Listen, Fraser was just a hell of a lot quicker than my finger with his decision to jump on that train. Like fucking Superman, faster than a speeding bullet. Except Fraser isn’t made of steel.” Vecchio sighed and ran his hand over the top of his head. “It was the most horrific moment of my life. I thought I had killed him. I thought I had just killed my best friend. Sometimes it felt like he would never forgive me for shooting him and who would blame him, huh? I had to forgive myself before Benny would be able to and I was finally able to do that. Look, it took a very long time for us to repair our friendship, Ray. I don’t want all that destroyed by going after her. Benny and I are doing good; can’t we just leave it at that?”

“He needs to do this, Ray. You ever think that maybe you need to find her just as much as him? You could do with a little closure by getting the bitch behind bars.”

Vecchio sighed into the phone. “Don’t let it go to your head, but you’re probably right, Kowalski.”

“It will be fine, Vecchio. We will find her.” Ray cleared his throat uncomfortably. He felt bad for the guy. He knew Vecchio and Fraser had been to hell and back over Victoria. They both needed to find some peace. “Listen, what time for dinner and you want us to bring anything?”

“Let’s say six. Stella and I were going to get Chinese but then she was talking to a friend of hers and she wants to try this new soup that everyone is raving about.”

“Stella’s gonna cook? You gonna have the Chinese on speed dial in case it doesn’t turn out?” Ray joked hoping to lighten the darkened mood from earlier. It seemed to work.

Vecchio chuckled, “Hey, she’s getting better. I haven’t died yet from anything I’ve eaten. Listen Ray, Benny’s not the only one who’s made mistakes. We learn and we move on.”

Ray sighed with relief that Vecchio wasn’t furious with him. “You’re right. Okay, we will see you at six. It okay if we bring fur-face?”

“Sure, that’s fine. Stella actually likes Dief. She bought me one of those lint roller things for when you guys come over and told me to ‘Suck it up, Ray… I like having Diefenbaker around’. I’ll just de-fur myself later.”

Ray smiled at the image of Stella and Dief. It was good for all of them when the Vecchios returned from their own adventure in Florida. They had all moved on, leaving their pasts with each other where they belonged… _in the past_. The two men exchange good-byes and hung up.

Ray looked at Diefenbaker who was napping on the couch in Fraser’s usual spot. “Hey Dief, want to go for a walk? Let’s see if we can find Ben.”

Dief yipped in agreement and bolted to the door.

“Hey, wait for me.”

 

Ray knew the path that Fraser usually ran when he went for a short run of a few miles, so he started where he knew Fraser would be ending up in order not to miss him. He enjoyed seeing Diefenbaker get out and run. The wolf was getting on in years and wasn’t as active as he used to be. Dief took off after the squirrels and Ray smiled. He walked for about ten minutes before he spotted Fraser running towards him. He could see Fraser slow his pace to a jog and then an eventual brisk walk. The closer Ray got, the bigger the smile on his face grew. He liked to see Fraser all sweaty and mussed up… it always took his breath away.

“Hey there, what are you doing out here?” Fraser smiled and asked as he tried to catch his breath. He wiped a hand across his sweaty brow.

Ray leaned forward and kissed him. “Dief got bored, so we decided to take a walk and meet up with you. He really just wanted to get out and chase the squirrels and bunnies. I just wanted to chase _you_.” Ray admitted with a crooked smile. Ray turned and fell into step with Fraser. He was silent for a few moments and waited for Fraser’s breathing to even out before he spoke. “Vecchio called and invited us over for dinner. Stella’s gonna cook.”

The grin returned to Fraser’s face. “That sounds lovely.” He and Stella Kowalski never saw eye to eye, but he liked this Stella Vecchio. Her persona had bloomed into something new when she married his friend. Ray’s voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“I also called the prison where Greta is being held and told them we would be there Monday morning. You do realize it’s like a six hour drive, don’t you?”

Fraser turned and looked at Ray affectionately. “Thank you, Ray.”

Ray shrugged his shoulders and smiled warmly at Fraser. “I know how important this is to you.” Ray was silent a few more steps before continuing quietly. “Ben, I need to know what happens when we find Victoria.”

Fraser glanced at Ray and cocked his head. “I’m afraid I don’t understand your question, Ray. My intention is to bring her in. I don’t want her to be able to victimize anyone else. She has caused enough damage just in my life.”

“Ok, I’m just making sure.”

“Making sure of what?”

“Making sure that she doesn’t pull you under her spell again. You said yourself, she makes you weak.”

“Yes, I did,” Fraser admitted. “But I also said that I have you and you keep me strong.” Fraser took Ray’s hand into his own and locked their fingers and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, you can ask me anything.”

“What were you thinking, Ben? Did you think that if you got on that train and threw away everything you stood for, it was going to make up for the ten years she spent in prison? You throw your life away for the life she lost and you would be even and then you could start over somewhere with her and all would be forgotten? I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m just _trying_ to understand.”

Fraser looked towards the ground. “I believe so, yes. I believed that I owed her. I thought _my life for hers._ We would finally be even and she would have no reason to hate me anymore and maybe then… maybe we could be happy. Maybe _I_ could finally be happy”

Ray stopped walking and pulled Fraser close to him. He looked deep into his eyes and asked the question his heart had been dying to ask. “And now? Do you still feel you owe her? Do you still feel you need to set things right?”

Fraser looked away from Ray and shook his head. He turned back to face Ray and his voice was quiet, but full of confidence as he spoke. “No, Ray, I no longer feel I owe her anything. The only thing I need to set right is to finally bring her in and turn her over to the authorities. I ruined my own life and I worked very hard to get it back. I won’t give it up again.”

“So, I don’t have to worry about you choosing her over me? You’re still coming home with me when this is all over?”

“Ray… yes, I’m coming back home with you. _I love you._ What I felt for Victoria all those years ago, was nothing compared to what I share with you.”

Ray leaned his head forward onto Fraser’s chest and whispered, “That the truth, Ben?”

Fraser stepped back and lifted Ray’s chin with their joined hands. He smiled affectionately at his lover. “That’s the truth, Ray. You’re my home and that’s where I’m going to be at the end of the day.”

“Okay, that’s all I need to know.” Ray leaned forward and captured Fraser’s lips in a kiss.

 Fraser parted his lips and granted Ray access to his mouth. “Perhaps we should take this to a more private location.” Fraser said between kisses. “I’m thinking maybe our bedroom. What time was dinner?”

Ray released Fraser’s lips and leaned back. “Vecchio said six…”

Fraser looked at his watch, grinning mischievously. “Plenty of time… race you back?” Fraser took off running towards their apartment. Diefenbaker followed quickly behind matching Fraser’s pace.

“ _Hey… no fair!”_  Ray shouted as he tried to catch up. _“That’s not buddies, Benton Fraser!”_

Fraser and Ray stood outside the Vechhio household and shared a kiss before knocking. Ray and Stella Vecchio were comfortable with their relationship and didn’t give them grief over their displays of affection. Ray had stopped making gagging noises every time Stella kissed Vecchio and Vecchio quit ribbing Fraser over his choice in Kowalski. The door opened and Ray Vecchio welcomed them into his home.

Vecchio pulled both men into a small huddle just inside the door. “Okay listen… Stella’s really worried about you guys not liking her soup that she’s making. So, if it’s horrible, grin and bear it and I owe you Chinese later. Deal?”

Ray began to laugh at Vecchio’s expense and Fraser slapped him on the arm. “I’m sure her soup will be delightful, Ray. Could she use a hand in the kitchen?” Fraser offered cheerfully.

“That would be great, Benny. But make it _look_ like she’s doing all the work.”

Ray laughed again. “What’s she making that has you freaked out? It smells great whatever it is.”

“It’s called taco soup. She thought she would try this recipe her friend gave her a few weeks back. But I looked at it, Kowalski, and it doesn’t look like a damn taco to me. There’s all these beans and tomatoes and a whole chicken… who puts chicken in a _taco_?”

“Relax man… it may look funny, but it smells amazing. Is your nose broke, something wrong with it maybe? Take a whiff of the aroma around you.”

Vecchio actually sniffed the air and Ray nodded his head. “See, smells great.”

“It does smell pretty good, doesn’t it? You want a beer?” Vecchio offered.

“Yes to both.” Ray followed Vecchio into the kitchen and saw Fraser at the stove stirring the contents in a large pot. “Smells delicious, Stella.”

Stella blushed. “You know I’m not much of a cook, Ray, but I’ve been trying some simple recipes. You know, to try and learn.”

Ray went over to her and kissed her cheek. “It’s a compliment, Stell. It smells wonderful. I can’t wait to dig in.”

Stella relaxed. “I’m sorry… _thank you_. It’s almost ready. Ray, if you would grab some bowls from the cupboard. I have everything else out on the table already. Benton…”

“Ben, please call me Ben.”

Stella smiled, her nervousness fading completely away. “Ben, can you help me pour the soup into the tureen?”

“Of course.”

Fraser brought the soup to the table and took his seat next to his Ray.  Stella had chopped up some green onions and placed them in a bowl on the table along with sour cream, cheese and tortilla chips. Vecchio was still unsure about the success of his wife’s soup until he saw Kowalski’s face light up at his first bite. Ray had added all the extras to his soup and was stirring the contents into his bowl before he took another bite.

“Oh my god, Stella, this is amazing. Take a bite, Ben. You gotta give Ben the recipe. This is _better_ than tacos.”

“You really like it, you’re not just saying that because you know I can’t cook and you don’t want to hurt my feelings?”

Ray stopped feeding his face and smiled. “It’s really good, Stell.”

Fraser had taken his own bite and concurred with Ray.

Vecchio was the last to attempt the soup. He wrinkled his nose and sniffed his spoon before placing the spoon in his mouth. A smile spread across his face. “I’m sorry I ever doubted your skills, Stella. This is fantastic.”

“Thank you. You don’t know how nervous I was about making something so different. My friend Jill gave me the recipe a few weeks ago.”

The four friends ate the remainder of their dinner and shared stories about their separate adventures. Dief had settled himself at Stella’s feet. He liked her just as much as she liked him, and she didn’t even feed him doughnuts. After Vecchio and Ray had helped themselves to a third bowl of soup, the couples retreated to the living room with coffee and tea to discuss how to go about finding Victoria.

 

“How long has she been on the run?” Stella asked as she sipped her tea.

“It’s been about four years.” Vecchio answered.

“We’re not so sure that she ever left Chicago. She wouldn’t have had the time to hide or con someone into helping her once she was on the train.” Ray explained his theory to Stella. “She must have gotten off right after she got on and then just ran.”

Vecchio had already told Stella that he was the one who had shot Fraser. She also knew the ugly truth behind the flimsy file. Vecchio figured if Fraser could tell Kowalski the truth, Stella deserved to know it as well.

“We’re not entirely sure that she is still in the surrounding area but we have reason to believe that she may have been involved in the burning of my apartment building, the fire at the Vecchio home and the fire in Ray’s car. She has a history of burning things.”

“What’s she charged with again?”

“Murder, she killed her partner from the original robbery in Alaska then she tried framing Benny for it.”

Stella looked at Fraser sympathetically. “You do realize if you find her, you all three need to keep your heads. Make sure you do everything by the book. Don’t give her a reason to use anything against you. You don’t want her to walk because you didn’t Mirandize her correctly.”

“We’ll make sure everything is done by the book. She’s not going to get away this time, not if I have anything to do with it.” Vecchio stated.

“I already called the prison and they will be expecting us Monday. Victoria had to be involved with those fires in some way. I’m not too sure Greta was capable of being the mastermind behind the whole scheme. And as far as Zoltan Motherwell… he didn’t strike me as the brightest crayon in the box either. I think the bitch was behind it.” Ray placed his hand on top of Fraser’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m pretty sure she would give her up for a lighter sentence. You can work out the details for that, right Stella?”

“I’m sure the state would be willing to offer some sort of deal for information leading to a murderer. I can’t guarantee what it will be, but it will give you some leverage to use with her.”

“Ok, I’m a little confused,” Vecchio said as he rubbed his temples. “Who exactly is Greta Garbo again?”

“She’s the girlfriend of Zoltan Motherwell. You remember him, right?” Ray asked Vecchio.

Vecchio shook his head ‘no’.

“Come on Vecchio, you read the files when you got back from undercover, right?”

“Yeah, well… maybe I was a bit spacey when I got back. I wasn’t quite myself, if you remember. And I was pissed off that I couldn’t look after my own family and _you_ destroyed my car.”

‘Yeah, okay. Vecchio was right.’ Ray thought to himself. Hell, he knew what it was like to be undercover and it wasn’t an easy transition, waking up in your own shoes one morning after pretending to be someone else for so long. Vecchio had been a jerk towards him when he returned from Vegas and Ray thought that was the real guy at first, couldn’t see what Fraser saw in him “You really can’t remember the guy’s name?”

“Move it along, Stanley, I _don’t_ want to talk about it. _Who was he?”_

So, maybe Vecchio _hadn’t been_ firing on all cylinders when he returned from Vegas. Ray had been there… he could cut the guy some slack. “He was the artist that cracked up and started burning down studios and galleries. You and Fraser were the ones that figured out he was the one behind all of that and arrested him. Greta was his girlfriend and took over his ‘cause’. I’d put money down that Victoria was the mastermind behind the three fires that she started. That’s why we need to talk with her.”

“Where is she now?” Stella asked curiously.

Fraser knuckle rubbed his eyebrow. “Tamms Correctional Center, located in southern Illinois.”

“Benny, that’s a good six hours away.”

“Maybe you guys should head out tomorrow, get an early start.” Stella offered. “If you’re worried about Diefenbaker, I can keep him for you.”

Ray smiled at Stella’s offer. “That would be great Stell, Ben and I would appreciate that.”

“Great, I’m going to come home and that mutt is going to be sleeping in my bed with her. There will be wolf fur everywhere. Hell, Dief will probably even sleep on my pillow.”

Dief whined from the floor at Stella’s feet. “Don’t worry Dief, I can find you your _own_ pillow. I won’t make you sleep on _Rays_.” Stella smiled at her husband and shrugged. “What?”

“Just keep him away from my slippers, please.”

Fraser, Ray and Stella shared a laugh at Vecchio’s expense. They agreed to leave early in the morning so they could find a hotel by mid- afternoon and get rested up for the meeting with Greta Monday morning. Ray and Fraser thanked Stella for dinner and her hospitality and made their way home.

 

They walked hand in hand into their apartment building, Diefenbaker leading the way. Ray unlocked the door and tossed his keys and jacket onto the counter. Fraser hung Ray’s jacket with his own in the closet and pulled out a travel bag. He headed to their bedroom to begin packing for their trip.

“Vecchio and Stella… they really love each other, don’t they?” Ray said as he leaned against the bedroom wall watching Fraser pack clothing into the travel bag.

“It appears so, yes.” Fraser responded with his back turned to Ray.

“I’m happy for them.” Ray pushed off the wall and slid behind Fraser, wrapping his arms around his chest. He ran his slender fingers  
down Fraser’s arms until they reached his hands. Ray covered Fraser’s hands with his own, locking their fingers together and pulled their joined hands towards Fraser’s chest. He leaned forward and whispered into Fraser’s ear. “I’m happy for us, too.”

Fraser turned in Ray’s embrace and slid a hand behind his head and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. “As am I. _I love you_ … don’t ever forget that, Ray.”

“Never. Come on, let’s finish up this packing and get to bed. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

Dief nudged Fraser’s knee and whined. Fraser sat down on the bed and rubbed Dief’s neck and behind his ears. He stopped when his fingers brushed across the scar from the bullet Victoria had fired into Dief’s neck. Dief whined again and Fraser leaned forward and rested his forehead on Diefenbaker’s muzzle. He wrapped his arms around the wolf’s neck and held on. “We’re going to find her, boy. Don’t worry, Ray will have my back.”

 

Fraser and Ray arrived early the next morning at the Vecchio residence. Fraser briefed Stella on Dief’s habits and she assured the Mountie that ‘Dief would be fine’. She followed Fraser out to the drive- way, where the two Rays were arguing over who was going to be driving.

“You don’t seriously think I’m going to let you drive, do you Kowalski? You drove my car into a fucking lake.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault it decided to blow up while I was driving it.”

Fraser looked at Stella and sighed. “We’re surrounded by children.”

“You think you can handle the two of them?” Stella chuckled. “Good luck, Ben.”

Stella made the decision for everyone. “Honey, let Ray drive, okay. It will give me a chance to take the car in to get the tune up we keep talking about. I will just use your car.”

Vecchio sighed in defeat. “Fine.” He turned to give his wife a hug and lingering kiss before they left. “You can stop with the victory dance, Kowalski or I’m going to insist that Benny drives.” Vecchio turned back to his wife. “You sure you will be okay by yourself? I hate to leave you alone.”

“I won’t be alone; Dief will be here with me. Besides, I keep telling Jill that we need to go to that new spa. Maybe we will be able to do that tomorrow. You will only be gone for a day, two tops. Don’t worry, Ray. I’m a big girl… I can take care of myself. I have you on speed dial just in case, and Ray and Ben on the other speed dial if I can’t get you.” Stella leaned forward on her tiptoes and kissed Ray. “You guys go do what you need to do.”

“Thank you for understanding. I will call you when we get settled in a hotel.” Ray gave Stella another kiss. He glanced down at Diefenbaker. “Take care of her, okay Dief.”

Diefenbaker barked and nudged Ray towards the car. He climbed into the backseat of Ray’s GTO and the three waved good-bye to Stella and Dief.

 

 It was going to be a six hour drive to Tamms Correctional Center in southern Illinois. Ray relented after four hours of driving and let Vecchio take over behind the wheel. They stopped for gas and a quick bite to eat before setting off again.

They reached Tamms, Illinois in seven hours and began the search for a hotel. The clerk at the first one explained they were all booked up for some sort of convention. After three more tries, Vecchio turned the key and opened the door to their room. The only room left in all of Tamms, Illinois, and it had one king sized bed.

“Oh dear…” Fraser remarked as he scanned the room hoping another bed would materialize.

“What the hell is a ‘clogging convention’ anyways?” Ray asked as he dumped his bag on the king sized bed.

“Well, a clogger is…” Fraser began but was cut off by Ray.

“Shut up, Fraser… I _really_ don’t want to know.”

“As you wish, Ray.”

“Hey, where’s the other bed?” Vecchio asked when he realized there was only one bed. “No way am I sleeping with you two. This is great, just great. My wife is a high class attorney and I have to spend the night in a cheesy Motel 6 with you two,” Vecchio whined.

“Ray, the clerk explained that this was the only room available. Now, unless you want to sleep on the backseat of the car… this will have to do. I’m sure we can get extra blankets from the front desk.”

“Ben, I can’t believe that you finally get me into a motel room, and we have to share a bed with Vecchio.”

“Fuck you, Kowalski, how do you think I feel? And no hanky panky with me in the bed with you two.”

“ _Excuse me_ … whoever said you were going to be in bed with us?”

“If the two of you don’t knock it off, one of you will be sleeping in the tub.”

“Alright, listen. I’m going to go down to the lobby and get some coffee and call Stella. You two figure out the sleeping arrangements, because I’m not sleeping next to Kowalski’s skinny ass.”

Vecchio opened the door and left, leaving Fraser and Ray alone. Fraser sat down on the bed and absent-mindedly rubbed his back. Ray climbed on the bed and knelt behind Fraser resting his hands on his shoulders. “Your back bothering you?” he asked as he began to knead Fraser’s tense muscles. He worked his hands underneath Fraser’s shirt and kneaded the muscles up and down Fraser’s spine.

“Just stiff is all.” Fraser was leaning into Ray’s massage but jerked forward when Ray’s hands fell on his scar. He dropped his head forward and let out the breath he was holding.

Ray bent over his shoulder and kissed Fraser’s neck. “We’ll find her, Ben.” Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser and held him close.

 

Vecchio returned to the room thirty minutes later with his arms full of extra blankets and towels.

“Housekeeping is going to be sending up a roll- away bed. There’s no way in hell I’m going to sleep with the two of you. I love you Benny, but I draw the line at sharing a bed with Kowalski.”

“Understood, Ray. After his three bowls of Stella’s soup, I’m not so sure I want to sleep with him either.” Fraser ducked the pillow that was thrown in his direction. “Were you able to get ahold of Stella?”

“Yeah, her and that friend of hers, Jill, are going to the movies tonight. I haven’t met her yet, but Stella thinks a lot of her. When we got back from Florida, Stella said she didn’t feel like she fit in with any of her old friends anymore. She met this lady at the art gallery one day and they just clicked. She keeps wanting to introduce me to her, but something always comes up. Anyways… I say we make it an early night. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. Depending on what we get out of this Greta Garbo, we could be here another night.”

 

The three friends ordered in a pizza, ate and then settled in for bed. The room fell silent and all that could be heard was the steady breath coming from each man. Ray slid his arm around Fraser’s waist and pulled him close. He whispered into Fraser’s ear. “Hmmm… that’s better. Now I can fall asleep.” Fraser slipped his own arm around Ray’s shoulders. “Good night, Ray.” He kissed him in the dark and the couple drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.

Ray was dreaming that he was trying to catch Fraser but he kept running faster and further away from him. It was as if he was Superman, faster than a speeding bullet. In his dream, Fraser was running towards Victoria and away from him. He felt the bed dip and was startled awake when Fraser jerked beside him in his sleep. Ray was transported out of his nightmare and it looked like Fraser was in the middle of his own. He was about to shake Fraser awake when he heard Vecchio scream and Fraser bolted upright, panting hard. Ray clicked on the bedside lamp and stared at his partner and friend, who were both breathing heavy.

“ _What the fuck_ … you guys okay? _Ben_ … wake up.” Ray shook Fraser’s shoulder until he acknowledged him.

“I’m sorry, Ray. I must have been having a nightmare.” Fraser was trying to get his bearings and his breathing under control.

“Yeah, Vecchio was too.” Ray placed a calming hand on Fraser’s arm.

“Sorry, I was dreaming about the train.” Fraser couldn’t look either Ray in the eye.

“I dreamt I was shooting you again.” Vecchio admitted.

“Shit, you guys, if you’re gonna have nightmares, leave me out of them. We all had the same damn dream.”

Vecchio laid back down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. “Benny, are you sure about this?”

Ray looked at Fraser and then at Vecchio. He answered on Fraser’s behalf. “Yeah, he’s sure. We’re going to find the crazy bitch and lock her behind bars where she belongs. You both need to find her… _and we will._ ” Ray clicked the light off and he and Fraser laid back down. Ray could still feel Fraser’s rapid heartbeat under his hand. He pulled Fraser close, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Hey, Kowalski…”

“ _What?”_ Ray asked irritated.

“Can you turn the lamp back on?”

Without a word, Ray flipped the lamp back on and the three attempted to fall back to sleep.

 

Morning came too soon for an overly tired Vecchio. He woke up and found that Fraser and Ray were both gone. He sat up on his small roll- away bed and looked around the room, making sure his friends didn’t ditch him and go to the prison without him. He knew Benny would never do that to him, but he wouldn’t put it past Kowalski. He was just finishing up in the bathroom when the door opened and the smell of fresh coffee invaded his nostrils.

Ray held up a paper bag and grinned. “We brought breakfast. You ready to do this?”

“Honestly? No… it scares the hell out of me.”

Fraser placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It scares me too, Ray. But it needs to be done, and it needs to be done by us.” Fraser squeezed Vecchio’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Ray’s got our backs.”

Ray placed a hand on both Vecchio and Fraser’s shoulders. “Come on fellas, we’ve got a date with an arsonist. Let’s not be late.”

 

 

 


	3. The Road Less Traveled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thank you's to butterflyghost for your endless help! You are amazing my friend. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am. Thank you to everyone who is following along... I appreciate the feedback! Enjoy...

Fraser, Ray and Vecchio stood in front of Tamms Correctional Center. It was situated amongst the rolling hills and cornfields at the southern tip of Illinois. Fraser took a deep breath and felt Ray’s hand settle on his lower back. Ray shuddered as he stared at the prison walls, thankful he was on the good said of the law.

“You sure about this, Ben?” Ray asked hesitantly. “I know we drove a really long way to get here, but maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

Fraser sucked in a calming breath. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Benny, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that Greta doesn’t know anything about Victoria. There’s a chance that this Greta was just carrying out Zoltan Motherwell’s crazy shenanigans… and maybe she directed it as you and me since we were the ones that arrested him.”

“Vecchio, could you be a _little more optimistic_ please. Right now, Greta is our only lead.” Ray asked as he shoved his hands in his jeans’ pockets.

“I’m being _realistic_. One of us needs to be.” Vecchio stated, defensively. He was just as nervous as Fraser, and even worse at hiding it.

“Let’s just go find out what she has to say, shall we?” Fraser offered.

Ray looked at Fraser and Vecchio and sighed. ‘We’re not even in the prison gates yet, and they’re already shitting bricks. “That’s right,” he said.  “We won’t know until we get in there and talk to her.” He gave one of his most fetching grins, trying to calm them both down. “Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er. We’re wasting daylight.”

 Fraser opened the door for both men and with a final, calming breath, followed them into the prison.

 

The three men introduced themselves and began the drawn out process of having their identities confirmed by the security staff. Eventually, they were taken to the interrogation room where they would wait for Greta. Ray had an idea. “You know, the last time she saw Fraser and me, she was shooting at us. Maybe you should go in first, Ray, get a feel for her mental state and such.”

“That’s a good idea. Maybe she will be more willing to open up if you two aren’t in there. Don’t want her to get defensive right away just from seeing you. We want her to talk.”

“We can watch from the other room, right? Don’t they have some kind of two way mirror thing like we do at the station?”

A guard entered the room and Fraser asked about another room to watch Vecchio interview Greta before they came in. The guard left Vecchio in the room and escorted Fraser and Ray to an adjoining room with a two way mirror. He left them alone and returned to inform Vecchio that Greta Garbo was being transported down soon.

Vecchio stood alone in the cold room. There wasn’t even a chair for him to sit at, not that he would be able to sit calmly across from someone capable of devastating so many lives. ‘This is weird,’ he thought as he wandered around the steel table where Greta would be cuffed. ‘I’m meeting someone who thinks Kowalski is me.’ He remembered how lost he felt when he returned from Vegas. He shrugged it off. Kowalski had done a good job, being him. Watched Benny’s back, not an easy task, looked after his family and even became a part of the family. No, he had done a _great_ job, being him. Vecchio read through the reports about the IA investigation about crooked cops and Kowalski keeping his cool and protecting Vecchio, even putting himself in a lineup, because he _trusted_ him, without even knowing him. It was just a funny feeling, being reminded that for over a year; he and Kowalski had been undercover as other people. ‘I wonder if it’s weird for Kowalski as well?’ It wasn’t the kind of thing you could just ask a person. Maybe one day they could share their stories over a large cup of coffee.

 

Fraser was staring through the window lost in thought, transported back in time to that train station once again. Ray stepped next to him and placed an arm around his waist, pulling him close. The touch from Ray brought Fraser back to the present and he gave Ray a half- smile before turning his blank stare back towards the glass. Ray didn’t know what Fraser was thinking, so he just held him tight.

Greta Garbo was ushered into the interrogation room by two guards. She was wearing the traditional bright orange jumpsuit and shackled at both the hands and the feet. The guards sat her at the table opposite Vecchio and secured her cuffs to the table. She wore no emotions as she stared at Ray Vecchio.

“That’s Greta?” Ray asked Fraser. “She doesn’t look the same. I remember her being… well, you know… _bigger._ This lady’s much thinner. You sure they don’t have her mixed up with another inmate?”

“Prison life is tough, Ray, especially this kind of prison. Greta may not be violent, but her crimes were of a violent nature.” Fraser’s thoughts drifted back to the ten years Victoria spent in prison. She wasn’t housed in a super-max facility like Greta and Fraser took a small amount of comfort in the fact that her time wasn’t as harsh as Greta’s was going to be. Fraser huffed to himself. ‘What the hell do I know about being _captive_?’ Except, _Victoria_ had held him captive for the past four years, or had it been longer? Perhaps, since they were trapped in a blinding blizzard. Until they found her, he wouldn’t be free from her.

A soft squeeze to the forearm brought Fraser’s thoughts back to the man standing beside him.

 “Ben…” Ray called softly.

“I’m sorry, Ray. I was lost in thought.” Fraser gave Ray another half- smile.

“It’s okay. What were you saying about Greta?”

“It only makes sense that she would lose some weight, Ray. She no longer has access to any comforts, and not just foods. Her meals are provided through a hole in her cell door and I can guarantee they are not of the highest quality. She’s in solitary confinement for twenty three hours a day, in a seven by twelve foot cell, with no window to the outside world. She will have no contact with other inmates unless she has figured out one of the illegal fishing methods that are often used by inmates. Her life is very rough and solitary.”

“Illegal fishing, Frase? What the hell is that?”

“Prisoners create make- shift ‘lines’ out of their bedding, often the threads from their blankets. They string the threading together, creating the ‘lines’ and attach notes for other prisoners. The lines are then strung from cell to cell, carrying the notes. Think of it like a pulley system for laundry out of an apartment window in the city… same concept, really.”

“What kind of deal do you think Stella can get her?” Ray wondered.

“I would imagine it depends on if she has any real information that would lead to Victoria. The state isn’t going to offer anything unless they get something in return. Greta’s a criminal who endangered many lives with the fires that she set, not to mention shooting at two police officers, one of whom she actually hit.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me… _that smarted_. I’d do it again though, you know.” Ray’s voice turned serious.

“Do what, Ray?” Fraser asked as he stared through the window at Greta.

“I knew I had to protect you,” he said, and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “Vecchio would have killed me if I let anything happen to his Mountie.”

“I never thanked you did I?” Fraser asked seriously. “For saving my life.”

“Sure you did… you asked me to have dinner with you. You could have just gone home…”

“My home was a pile of ashes, Ray.”

“What I’m trying to say is you could have just left, called it a day and said ‘See you tomorrow, Ray’, gone back to the Consulate or wherever, but you didn’t. You asked me to dinner with you. You were giving me a chance to be your friend and in doing so; you let down a few of your walls.”

“I love you, you know that?” A warm smile spread across Fraser’s face. “When did you get so smart?”

“When I hooked up with a Mountie.” Ray replied with a quick kiss.

 

On the other side of the window, Ray Vecchio was taking in Greta Garbo’s appearance as well. She certainly no longer resembled the mug shot he held in his hand. She had lost a substantial amount of weight in the two years she had been incarcerated. She no longer had access to a beauty salon, although Vecchio doubted she ever stepped foot into one. Her sandy colored hair was no longer perm- fried, but longer, resembling sandy waves cascading down her shoulders. She wasn’t beautiful by a long shot, but she no longer looked haggard from her own beauty attempts. ‘Funny, how tough prison conditions can change a person.’ Vecchio thought as he studied Greta handcuffed to the table. He wondered what this kind of prison environment would have done to Victoria.

Greta didn’t appear to be a hardened criminal, but she had set fire to an entire apartment building, leaving all of its tenants homeless. It was never determined if the deaths of two of the more elderly tenants were due to the fire or just old age. Both had died of heart attacks within days of the blaze. Even without the deaths taken into account, Greta was in serious trouble after shooting at two police officers and striking one of them. And then there was Ray’s beloved Riviera, which was now resting on the bottom of the lake, courtesy of her bomb and Kowalski’s quick thinking.

“So… you’re the woman who burned down an entire apartment complex, caught my family home on fire, shot at my friends, and blew up my car.”

Greta stared at Vecchio. He was expecting some form of recognition from her and it dawned on him that she didn’t have a clue who he was. To her, ‘Ray Vecchio’ was a slender blond cop with spiky hair and a ‘kick ‘em in the head’ attitude. It was unsettling stepping back into your own shoes after someone else had worn them for well over a year. No wonder people were getting confused when he would introduce himself, they expected someone else. He wondered if Kowalski had the same problem, or if his own shoes just suddenly fit again.

“What’s the matter, nothing to say for yourself?” Vecchio asked.

“I thought they said your name was ‘Vecchio’. You don’t look like the ‘Vecchio’ I remember.” She replied, confusion showing on her face.

“Yeah, well, apparently, I’m ‘Vecchio’ now.” Vecchio replied. Greta’s confused stare went unchanged. “Look, it’s a long story… one I don’t have time for.”

“What would you like me to say?” Greta’s voice was dry and hoarse from countless months of disuse. “I’m terribly sorry for all the pain I’ve caused anyone and I’m paying for it now.” She looked down at her cuffed wrists at the cold steel table.  Her voice was distant and sad. “I’ve admitted my guilt, and I’m paying my dues.”

 Vecchio was startled at her demeanor. Greta no longer resembled the woman in the file. She was quiet and sad and very alone. She sounded like she meant every word that quietly escaped her lips.

“I have a few questions about those fires, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“What’s there to tell? I set them. End of story.”

“Well, you could get a few more minutes out of that lousy cell and talk to another human being by telling me a few more things about those fires…” Vecchio let his voice trail off, and leant menacingly forward on the table. “ _Or…_ I can just send you back now and you can spend the rest of your twenty three hours by yourself and the mice that scurry under your cell door.” He smiled, grimly. “Conditions aren’t too great here are they, Miss Garbo?”

Vecchio motioned to the guard and hid the bitter smile as he watched Greta’s expression quickly change from bull-headed to scared.

“ _Wait…_ what kind of questions do you have?” Greta asked curiously.

“How well did you know Zoltan Motherwell?”

“He was my boyfriend.” She replied with sadness in her voice.

“I didn’t ask who he _was_ ; I asked how _well_ you knew him.” Ray was feeling the long lost detective creep to the surface. It felt good… the shoes were starting to fit again.

Greta pondered her answer and before she could reply, the detective was asking her another question. Being isolated from other prisoners, she had lost her ability to easily converse with another person. She was having difficulties following the detective’s easy line of questioning.

“How did you meet him? Who introduced the two of you? How long did you know him? Did you help him with any of _his_ fires?” Vecchio badgered on, his time spent in Vegas, now shining through.

 

On the other side of the mirror, Kowalski was beginning to feel bad for Greta. He knew Vecchio’s questions weren’t difficult to answer, but he wasn’t giving her the chance either before he fired another one at her. “Jeez, Fraser, he’s being bad cop and psychotic cop in there. Maybe we shouldn’t have let him go in alone.”

“He knows what he’s doing.”

“You sure?”

Fraser stared at the glass, and said nothing.

 

Greta finally managed to begin speaking before Ray could cut her off with another question. “A friend introduced us,” she began.

Vecchio finally backed off. At least he got her to talk.

“I didn’t care much for art or galleries but my friend said that she thought I would like Zoltan and she introduced us.”

“So, how did a nice lady like you end up burning down buildings and blowing up cars?”

“Zoltan had been arrested for burning down the galleries and studios. It was his ‘cause’ against the lack of real art that was being created. He asked me to promise…” Greta coughed, her throat suddenly dry and irritated, “to promise him to take over his cause after he was sent to prison. I thought he loved me, that’s what my friend kept telling me. So, I said I would… but I couldn’t do it.”

Vecchio hung his head, feeling a dead end coming up quickly. ‘Great, I got nothing. I knew this was a waste of our time.’ He was silently relieved the woman didn’t have anything to share. Now, they could go home, and hopefully Benny wouldn’t push this any further. He was wrong.

 There was a tap on the mirror behind him.  Fraser and Ray were ready to join the party. The guards opened the door and Ray and Fraser entered the interrogation room. Greta just stared at them.

“Hello, Miss Garbo. Do you remember us?” Fraser asked with a small smile.

Greta looked at Vecchio and then to Ray. “I thought _you_ were ‘Ray Vecchio’.”

“Sorry,” said Ray with an apologetic grin. “It’s kind of confusing…” he thought about it… ‘It would take too long to explain.’ “If it means anything… I’m still Ray. Last names don’t matter.” Ray stepped back as Greta nodded, and let Fraser talk to her.

Greta stumbled over her words. “You… you’re the… you’re the one that was supposed to be in that fire.”

“What fire would that be Miss Garbo?” Fraser asked carefully.

“The apartment.”

“And why were you trying to burn my apartment building?”

“Because you’re the one that arrested Zoltan. I could never carry on his cause, but I hated you for taking him from me.”

“And what about the Vecchio home? Why would you try and burn it down?”

“Because you two were partners and he helped arrest my boyfriend. My friend told me that you wouldn’t have any place to stay that you would probably be staying with him, so I lit a fire.”

“Were the fires your idea, Greta?” Fraser asked.

“No, it was my friend’s idea.” She lowered her eyes and stared at her cuffed hands once again.

“Then why didn’t your friend set these fires?”

“She told me that if I did it and got caught, then they would put me with Zoltan, that we would be together again.”

Ray shook his head and sighed, Greta was gullible. She must have been a loner growing up. Fraser’s next line of questioning confirmed his suspicions.

“Greta, what was your childhood like? Did you have many playmates, many friends?” Fraser asked her softly.

“Nobody ever wanted to play with me at school. They always teased me and pulled my hair.” She continued to stare at her hands as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

“What about outside of school, any neighborhood friends?” Fraser continued slowly and gently.

“We lived too far away from anyone to have neighbors and I was never allowed to go on play dates with other kids from school… not that I was ever asked.” Greta added with her head lowered.

“And as an adult, did you have many friends?” 

“Just Caroline. She introduced me to Zoltan.”

Fraser turned his head at the sound of his mother’s name, and locked eyes with Ray. They were thinking the same thing. _Caroline_ …that was their clue… Victoria _was_ involved. His heart rate quickened and he was getting light headed. Ray sensed something was up and nodded to Vecchio to take over the questioning. Fraser stepped back and Ray placed a hand on his arm. Fraser took a deep breath and nodded that he was okay. Ray gave his arm a reassuring squeeze before letting go.

“Can you tell me about this friend of yours? Where did you meet?”  Vecchio asked.

“I was working at the butterfly exhibit as a custodian. It was the only work I could find. I never graduated from high school and it was difficult for me to find a good job. I took what I could get. Caroline was visiting the exhibit and came over and just started talking to me.”

“And just like that you’re friends?”

“The pretty lady wanted to be my friend… I wasn’t going to tell her no.” She looked ashamed of herself and a fresh trail of tears slid down her cheek. She lowered her head and swiped them away with her cuffed hands. Fraser stepped forward and placed a crisp hanky in her trembling fingers. She glanced up and locked eyes with him before he stepped away. “Thank- you.”

“So,” Vecchio spoke slower this time to make sure he was getting the story straight. “She introduces you to Zoltan, you become involved, start dating. He gets arrested, goes to jail and then what?” Greta blinked at him, with a confused expression on her face. Jeez, she really has forgotten how to talk. “You wait a year and then just like that start lighting fires?” He looked at Fraser and Kowalski for help. This didn’t make any sense.

“I was alone, except for my friend, and she told me that I could get rid of the man that took Zoltan away from me, just as easily as you took him from me.” Greta looked directly at Fraser. “Caroline said it would be easy to get caught and then I could be with Zoltan again.”

Fraser stepped forward. “It wasn’t easy, was it Greta?” He spoke gently, and she lowered her eyes, shame spreading across her face, once again. “Caroline lied to you. You never saw her again did you?” She swallowed and blinked again, tears trembling in her eyes. “After you lit those fires and left all those people homeless and blew up Ray’s car, you never saw your friend again, did you?” Greta shook her head. “She never visited you once since you’ve been in prison; you haven’t received a single letter or phone call, have you?”

“No,” she whispered.

Fraser slid a picture across the table towards the broken woman before him. “Is this your friend, Greta?”

“She said she was my friend.” Greta quietly replied as a tear slid down her cheek.

“And I thought I loved her.” Fraser replied just as quietly.

“She lied to you too?” Greta questioned.

“Yes… I was lied to as well.”

“I’m really not a bad person…”

“I’m sure you’re not. You were manipulated by her charms. You were desperate for a friend and desperate for love. You made foolish decisions because of that desperation. I made the same mistakes and because of her, I have a bullet in my back. She made me weak as well.” Fraser bent his head silently. When he looked up, Greta was still crying. He placed the discarded hanky back in her hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

“Greta, can you tell us anything about your friend? Like where she was living or staying or if she mentioned going on any trips around the time of the fires.” Ray asked, stepping forward, mimicking Fraser’s gentle approach. “We would like to be able to hold her responsible for some of the damage she encouraged you to cause.”

“But she isn’t to blame, I did everything.”

“You may have lit all those fires, but you wouldn’t have done it if she wouldn’t have lied to you about being able to be with Zoltan, would you?” Ray asked, his voice was quiet and gentle.

“No, I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be with him, but you were standing in my way.”

“Your friend, Greta, can you tell us where she lived? Did you ever go to her house, spend any time away from the butterfly exhibit with her?”

“She only came in on weekends. She told me she lived a few hours away. She took me to her house once. It was beautiful.”

Vecchio stepped forward. “Where was her house, Miss Garbo?”

“We drove for almost three hours, to Indiana. There was a big lake.”

“Was it _Lake Michigan_?” Vecchio added dryly. That was the only big lake he could think of in Indiana, and that wasn’t even technically _in_ Indiana. Fraser shot Vecchio a look and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Do you remember the name of the city or town that she took you to?” Ray asked trying to remember some Indiana geography from school.

“I thought we were in New York.” Greta stared into the past.

“Why New York? I thought you said she took you to Indiana.” Vecchio asked frustration beginning to show on his features.

“The town was called ‘Syracuse’. I thought we were in New York.” Greta replied returning to the present.

A smile spread across Fraser’s face. “Ah yes, Syracuse, Indiana, home of the largest natural lake in Indiana, Lake Wawasee. Does that sound familiar?”

“It has been a few years, but yes, that sounds right. I’m sorry... I don’t remember exactly where her house was. They all looked the same after a while, big and expensive. It was on the lake though, I remember looking out and seeing the water. It was beautiful, so peaceful.”

“Is this when she suggested starting the fires?”

“Yes, I was lonely and she asked me what was wrong and I told her I missed Zoltan and she said it was an easy fix, if I was willing to go along with it. She also said it would help her out with a problem as well, but she never explained what that meant. I was just happy that I would get to be with Zoltan again, so I was willing to do whatever she asked.”

“Thank you, Miss Garbo. We will see if there isn’t anything we can do for you for your cooperation. I can’t promise anything, but we will certainly try.”

Ray stared at the broken women before him and his thoughts went back to Beth Botrelle. “Hey Greta…” he called out. She glanced up at him, her expression sad. “Would it be okay to write you? So, you’re not so alone in here?”

A small smile appeared on Greta’s face and there was a shimmer of hope seen in her eyes. “I would like that very much, thank you.”

Fraser was moved by Ray’s generosity towards the woman that had tried to kill them at one time. He would have to thank him when they got back home.

 

Vecchio motioned for the guards and they uncuffed Greta and led her down the hallway in the direction of her cell while the three men were led in the direction of freedom. Ray turned towards Greta’s retreating form and called out “Don’t forget, I’m going to write.” Greta gave him a small smile as she was led away.

Ray looked at Fraser. “I’m going to, you know… write her.”

“That’s very kind of you, Ray.”

“Why bother?” Vecchio asked.

“Don’t worry about my reasons, I didn’t ask you to write her.”

“Ray, what kind of help do you suppose Stella can get for Greta? Perhaps a different location with better accommodations, maybe some educational opportunities.” Fraser asked trying to diffuse the tension between his two friends.

“Why?” Vecchio asked bitterly. “She burned down your apartment, she burned down my home- she could have killed someone. There were _people_ in those buildings. If you hadn’t gotten there… she’d have killed Frannie.” He turned his face away, and added like a joke. “Oh yeah… _and she blew up my car!”_ Vecchio reminded him. ‘Besides, she’s leading us on a wild goose chase’. He thought to himself as he pushed past his two friends towards the exit.

“Let’s not forget she also shot at Ray, if you want to include _all_ of her sins.” Fraser called to his back.

Vecchio stopped and turned around to face Fraser and Ray. “We’re not here to save the bad guys, Benny.”

“Ray, sometimes, even the bad guys need a break.”

“Do you know how many bad guys I’ve put away? At least nobody’s going to put a needle in her arm,” he added harshly. “You can’t feel sorry for the whole damn world. Let her do her time.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Ray.” Fraser’s brow furrowed with confusion. His friend had always been bad tempered, but he’d never been cruel.  “Nobody deserves to sleep with the mice, regardless of their crimes.”

Vecchio turned towards the exit and muttered, “Fine, I’ll call Stella when we get back to the room if it will make you feel better.”

“Thank you kindly, Ray.”

“Let’s just go already. This place gives me the creeps.” Vecchio opened the door to the outside world and stepped into the sunshine. “That’s more like it, freedom and fresh air.” He stepped foot outside the prison walls and shuttered, attempting to dislodge Armando’s ghost.

Ray nudged Fraser’s arm and whispered quietly. “What’s his problem?”

“I don’t know, Ray.”

“If he doesn’t get anywhere with Stella, I’ll talk to her.”

Fraser smiled affectionately at his partner and walked together back to the car.

 

The drive back to the motel was quiet. Ray kept glancing from Fraser in the passenger seat to Vecchio in the rearview mirror. The tension in the air was thick and Ray cracked a window for some fresh air. Maybe it would help clear all their heads. The three men were lost in their own thoughts. Fraser and Ray were both thinking about Greta. ‘It’s so easy,’ Fraser thought, ‘to be betrayed.’ He had to find Victoria, before she ruined someone else’s life.

Ray was thinking about Beth Botrelle, the years she’d lost, and the lonely years that still stretched out ahead of Greta. ‘I will write,’ he thought, ‘even if Vecchio’s right and this is a dead end. Even if Stella can’t do anything for her, at least she will know that someone cares.’

Vecchio stared out the side window, what he was thinking was dark enough that he was keeping it even from himself.

 

 They checked in with the front desk and Vecchio was relieved to hear that the Cloggers had all left. “Thank god, I don’t have to sleep in the same room with you two again. No offense, Benny, but your boyfriend snores.”

Fraser was relieved at the teasing tone that had returned in his friend’s banter. ‘Maybe it was just being at the prison that had Ray out of sorts’, Fraser thought to himself.

“Hey, be thankful the wolf isn’t here with us,” Ray added playfully.

Vecchio rolled his eyes and laughed. Yeah he had heard the wolf snore before, if that’s what you wanted to call it. “Okay, Benny, so what’s the game plan? We going home? We going to Indiana?”

“Well, Greta did say that Victoria had a home on the lake. I think it is worth checking into. However, it would take us roughly seven hours to get there, so I suggest we stay here another night and leave early in the morning.”

“Okay, let’s grab something to eat, because I’m starving. There has to be a diner or something in this town besides pizza joints.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with pizza?” Ray asked.

“Nothing, if you don’t mind eating out of boxes all the time…”

Fraser gave a small smile. Things were nearly back to normal- his Rays were teasing each other again.

“I’m sure we can find a diner, Ray.”

“Then we’ll all come back here, I’ll call my wife, we’ll sleep and then we’ll head to Cornfield, Indiana.”

“I believe it was Syracuse, Ray.”

“Whatever, Benny… I’m pretty sure it’s located in the middle of a cornfield.”

Fraser laughed and put an arm around Vecchio’s shoulder. “I promise not to drag you through a muddy cornfield, Ray. I’m sure I can convince Ray to stick to the roads.”

“Like I want to wash mud off the Goat, anyway. I’m with Vecchio on this one. We stick to the pavement.”

 

The desk clerk gave Vecchio a key to his own room next to Fraser and Ray’s and pointed them in the direction of a nearby diner that served more than pizza. The men ate dinner and retreated to their own rooms for the night. Fraser had picked up a map at a local gas station and was planning to plot out the way to Syracuse. Vecchio had promised Fraser he would ask Stella about Diefenbaker and how the wolf was getting along. The men said good-night and decided to meet for an early breakfast at the same diner before hitting the road.

Ray lay sprawled out on the king sized and closed his eyes. “You think Vecchio’s really going to ask Stella to see what kind of deal she can get for Greta?”

Fraser looked up from the map spread out on the bed before him. “I’m sure he will, Ray. He said he would.”

“Yeah, but… he’s been a bit off, even for him.”

“He does seem out of sorts, but he wouldn’t say he’d do something if he didn’t intend to. I don’t believe Greta would ever have committed those crimes had it not been for Victoria’s influence. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to be punished for them…” Fraser’s thoughts drifted off.

Ray sat up and slid next to Fraser on the bed. “I know… _nobody_ deserves to be in those conditions.”

“It’s not just the conditions, Ray. She knew Victoria and she was coerced into making a horrible mistake. I feel Greta and I share something in common. It also makes me wonder how many other people have been manipulated by Victoria.”

Ray slung his arms around Fraser’s shoulders and kissed his neck. “Let’s not think about Victoria tonight, okay? Tonight, let’s think about us. We got Vecchio out of here, _thank god_. How about you let me explore that body of yours, huh?” Ray pushed the map to the side and it slid off the bed.

“Ray, the map…” Fraser protested.

“I don’t need a map, Ben. I never get lost when I’m with you.” Ray planted more kisses on the back of Fraser’s neck as his fingers worked the buttons open on his shirt. Fraser dropped his head to the side and Ray leaned over his shoulder, kissing towards his chest. He abandoned Fraser’s chest and caught his lips in surprise. “I love you, Ben.”

“And I you, Ray.”

Ray pulled Fraser’s shirt off his shoulders and began to rub the tense muscles.

Fraser hung his head forward and sighed. It felt good to have Ray’s hands on him. He turned on the bed, not realizing how close he was to the edge and ended up pulling himself and Ray to the floor with a loud ‘thump’. Both men burst into fits of laughter.

 

Next door Vecchio had been on the phone with Stella for five minutes when he heard the loud ‘thump’. “Oh my god, Stella…” his voice trailed off. “Uhm… these walls are way too thin.”

“What do you mean, Ray?” He could hear his wife smirking on the other end of the phone.

“Nothing… nothing. What are you doing now?”

“I’m petting Diefenbaker’s head. I really like him, Ray. Maybe we should get a dog.”

“Oh no, don’t get any ideas in that pretty head of yours. We get back home and he goes home with Benny.”

“He’s napping on the couch next to me. We’ll talk about it when you get home.”

“Jee… I wish I was Dief.” He heard moaning from next door, and snickered. “At least he’s deaf.”

“I see.” She was giggling a little, her imagination beginning to wander. “And why do you want to be deaf?”

 “I think Fraser and Ray are… well, I think… oh god, they’re laughing.”

“You think they’re having sex?” Stella asked, amused at her husband’s lack of vocabulary.

“Well, they’re having _something_. Whatever it is, they’re enjoying it.”

“And each other, from the sound of it.”

“Why do they have to be _so loud_?”

“I know what you mean.” She sighed dramatically. “I can hear them _all the way_ up here.”

“Stella!!!” Vecchio cracked up. “Oh God, you dirty minded woman.”

“I’ve not heard you complaining before.”

“That’s because you were in the room with me.”

“Next time you go on a road trip with Ray and Ben, take me with you. We’ll get the room next door, and see if we can embarrass them instead.”

Vecchio took a deep breath. “Wow,” he said, admiringly. “You really are the queen of kink!”

She chuckled, then said more seriously. “I wish I was with you now.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Me too.” He cleared his throat. “I miss you too.” He stopped himself before he got too mushy. “Listen, I’ve got something I have to ask…” He was meant to ask about Greta, but it made him uncomfortable to think of her, so he put it off. “Benny wanted me to ask about Dief, make sure he was okay for you and all.”

 “Diefenbaker is fine. Although, he was acting a little weird last night.”

“Really, how so?”

“My friend Jill was over. We were going to go to the movies and when I invited her in; Diefenbaker came out of the kitchen and started growling at her. I managed to get him shoved back into the laundry room and shut the door.”

“That’s odd, Dief’s always so friendly. Hey, maybe she refused to give him a doughnut.”

Stella laughed at that. “We didn’t get as far as doughnuts. To be honest, I think he was trying to eat her.”

“Hey, I hate to ask this about your friend, but is she kind of… _chunky?_ Maybe you should get him some steak.”

“You’re a horrible, horrible man, _Mister Vecchio_. Are you implying my friend is _fat?”_

“No… just asking.”

“She’s quite svelte and slender, I’ll have you know.”

“Maybe she’s bony. Maybe he thought she was a chew- toy.”

“Stop that,” she chuckled. “You’ll see her soon enough.” She paused… “Are they _still_ at it?”

“Uhm…” Vecchio listened. “Yeah…” He got up and wandered over to the window. “Weird about Dief though…”

“I apologized to Jill, figured she would have been freaked out, but she didn’t seem affected by it. She said that it was probably just her cat or something that Dief smelled on her that he didn’t like.”

“Well, at least he didn’t take a bite out of her. Anyway…” Better bite the bullet; he cringed when he thought of the impact of that word. “Benny also wanted me to ask you what kind of deal you could try and get for this Greta.”

“Was she able to tell you anything? The state may be willing to offer her something if it does lead to this Victoria, especially if she is wanted for murder.”

“That’s just it, she _is_ wanted for murder. And Fraser almost went down for it.” Vecchio closed his eyes with frustration. “He’s on some mission to try and save this Greta woman.” ‘Why does he do that? Why does he have to save the whole damn world?’

Stella must have known how he was feeling. She answered his unspoken question. “Ray, we all have our reasons for the things that we do, and who are we to judge each other? If Ben needs to find her, you need to be his friend and help.”

He smiled at his wife’s honesty. She always told him the truth. “I’m so glad Kowalski gave you up… you save me from myself, you know that?”

She didn’t say anything to that, but she was probably blushing. “So,” she said, returning to the topic. “Did Miss Garbo _have_ anything to tell you? When can I expect you home?”

“Yeah, it will be another couple of days. She told us Victoria had a house in Cornfield, Indiana and Benny wants to check it out. We’re going to leave tomorrow morning, head up there and see what we can find out. I think he’s wasting his time and it’s just a wild goose chase. I honestly don’t care if we find the bitch or not, as long as she stays out of his life.”

“I will talk to someone tomorrow and see what kind of arrangements can be made. I’m not going to guarantee anything though…” She paused, and sounded slightly incredulous. “Are those two _STILL_ going at it?”

“It sounds like it.” Vecchio turned and glared at the wall. This was getting beyond a joke. “Oh god, do I really have to listen to this all night?”

“Well, in my experience with Ray, it won’t last a _ll_ night.” Oh… nice. Just what he wanted to hear about… his wife’s ‘experiences’ with Kowalski when the man was going at it like the Energizer Bunny right next door.

“Hey, when I get back home, I’ll keep you up all night.”

She gave a filthy giggle. “I know you will.”

He smiled, smugly. ‘That’s better…’

“But you may want to call down and ask for some earplugs. When you get home, I will make you forget all about them having sex, don’t you worry.”

“I’m going to hold you to that. Good night, Stella. I love you.”

“Good night, Ray. Give those two my best and please call me when you get to wherever Cornfield, Indiana is located.”

“It’s not really called Cornfield…” Ray admitted somewhat sheepishly.

“I didn’t figure it was. Night, my love. And Ray…”

“Yeah?”

“Put a pillow over your head… it will drown out the noises.” Stella hung up laughing at her husband’s plight.

‘A pillow? I’m going to need something the size of a mattress to block out those two.’ Ray groaned and threw a phonebook at the wall.

 

Fraser winced as Ray helped him up off the floor. His lover looked at him, concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just wasn’t expecting to fall off the bed.  I think I kinked my shoulder.” Fraser replied. ‘Oh dear,’ he thought, ruefully. ‘Of all the body parts I could have landed on, it had to be where I was shot. I wish Ray hadn’t noticed…’ His back was sore as well, but he didn’t want to admit it. He grimaced as he attempted to work the knot out of his shoulder by rubbing it.

“Here,” Ray moved Fraser’s hand’s aside, gently. “Let me do that.”

Fraser smiled, and allowed Ray to help him to the bed. “Hmmm…” Ray snuggled up close to him, and continued rubbing his shoulders. Fraser closed his eyes, and leaned into his lover’s touch. Ray’s fingers were strong, kneading into the tight muscles. For all their strength, they were tender- he was trying to stay clear of the injured area.  Fraser leant his head back and sighed, as Ray worked one hand to the front of his chest. He felt his nipples harden into peaks as Ray’s fingertips brushed across them, and moaned. It wasn’t only his nipples that were hardening…

“That’s… _nice_ , Ray.”

“Only nice?” Ray pouted. “I must be doing something wrong…”

Fraser felt Ray’s hands drifting lower. Clever fingers started to stroke and tease and- ‘oh… Good Lord, he’s merciless.’ Fraser groaned, and tried not to writhe. It wasn’t working. When he opened his eyes, Ray was smiling at him knowingly.

“You’re breathing kinda heavy, Ben.”

“Oh…” Fraser wanted to say something, but his breath was quick and shallow. “Ha… stop that.”

Ray stopped what he was doing.

“I mean… don’t stop _that_.”

Ray smirked, let his hand drift lower down. He slipped the other hand into their travel bag and pulled out a small container of lube. “Ben…” his voice was teasing.

“Yes, Ray?” Fraser put on his best ‘innocent Mountie’ expression. It wasn’t fooling Ray at all.

“I bought a little something to surprise you…” Ray popped the top of the lube and Fraser felt a smile spread across his face.

“I can’t say I’m entirely surprised…” Good Lord, I’m forming sentences. He glared at Ray. Perhaps he should do something to encourage him…

Apparently Ray didn’t need much encouragement. He wrapped his arms around him, and kissed deeply. When he came up for air, his eyes were hungry.

“Hey,” he said, his voice deep and husky. “You finally got me into a hotel room. I’m _taking_ advantage of you.”

“Oh, thank God for that…”

Ray smiled, ferally, moved swiftly and pushed him back onto the mattress. He pushed Fraser up the bed until his head was resting the pillow. He deposited the bottle of lube on the nightstand and straddled Fraser’s hips. He started to unzip Fraser’s jeans when Fraser reached out and stopped him.

“I believe I am at an unfair disadvantage, Ray.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that?”

“Well, I’m already missing my shirt… I think it only fair that you lose yours too.” Fraser slid his hands under Ray’s shirt. He was planning on removing it- but got distracted by the smooth planes of the body beneath his fingers. Slender muscles, moving beneath warm and supple skin…

“Let me help you with that.” Trust Ray to get them back on track.

“Thank you kindly, Ray,” Fraser murmured, staring appreciatively as Ray removed the shirt and threw it to the side.

“How’s that for fair?” Ray was rocking back and forth against Fraser’s hips.

“Much better… now, where were we?”

“I believe I was about to unzip your jeans.” Ray whispered into Fraser’s ear before capturing his lips in a lingering kiss. Fraser parted his lips and welcomed Ray’s tongue into his mouth. He put a hand behind Ray’s neck and pulled him closer, deepening their shared kiss. Ray slipped a hand into Fraser’s jeans and stroked his growing erection.

Fraser moaned into Ray’s mouth. “Oh god… Ray.” Fraser took his trembling hands and set to work loosening Ray’s zipper. “Ray, pants off… _now_ , if you would please.”

Ray grinned and wiggled out of his jeans. “You need some help with that?” He tugged Fraser out of his own jeans and boxers, then sat back with an appreciative smile on his face. “Oh yeah, that’s what I like to see…” Fraser smiled as Ray slid into bed beside him and pulled the blankets over their naked bodies. Fraser slipped a leg in between Ray’s and slid an arm around his waist pulling him closer. Ray kissed Fraser and then pushed him onto his back and slid on top of him, stretching out to match his length. Fraser wrapped his arms around Ray and pulled him in for another kiss.

Ray placed butterfly kisses along Fraser’s collarbone and down his chest. He placed a sensual kiss on each of Fraser’s hips. Fraser arched his hips towards Ray’s mouth. “God, Ray…”

Ray moved his mouth to Fraser’s erection and paused.

“Bastard!”

‘Ha! Got the Mountie to swear…’ Ray smiled and kissed the smooth tip of Fraser’s cock.

Fraser could feel the smile on Ray’s lips the moment he kissed the tip.

‘Oh God,’ Ray thought, he tastes good… ‘I’m never going to get tired of this.’ Ben was warm, and smelled musky and tasted so good in his mouth. Already Ray could feel the pre come sharpening. Any minute now, Fraser was gonna come… He got ready to swallow, but Fraser pulled out.

“Ben… what?”

Fraser growled and flipped him.

‘Oh… _oh_ … horny Mountie. What have I started?’ Fraser grabbed the lube and Ray smiled.

“Oh, yeah…”

“You ready?” he asked quietly.

“Fuck… yes, now already.” Ray was pushing his hips into Fraser trying to get some friction between them.

Fraser slicked himself up and slid into Ray with no resistance. He waited for Ray to adjust and then the two began to move together as one. They melted and merged into one being and came together with the shouts of each other’s names on their lips.

 

“Oh, wow…” Ray rolled into Ben’s arms and kissed him. They were both sweaty and breathless, but coming back to the real world. “Hey, Ben, you know I…”

A loud thud on the wall interrupted him.

“Did you hear that?”

Fraser looked startled. “Oh dear…”

‘Oh… _oh_.’ Ray had a nasty feeling about this… “Was that Vecchio?”

“It did come from the direction of his room.”

Ray bit his lip and stifled nervous giggles. “Hey, you don’t think he heard us _, do you?”_

“I think…” Fraser paused, listening. They could clearly hear footsteps from the next room, then the springs of the mattress creaking as Vecchio got into his bed. Fraser blushed all over. “It would appear that the walls are very thin.”

“Oops.” Ray bit his knuckles and tried not to snicker.

“ _Oh dear_ …”

Ray buried his head on Fraser’s chest and laughed. Fraser stiffened and Ray pushed himself up on his elbow. Ben was wincing.

 

“Hey, you okay? Is it your shoulder? Shit… I knew I shouldn’t have started anything. I’m so sorry, Ben.”

“My shoulder is fine, Ray. My back is just a touch sore. It’s probably from falling off the bed earlier.”

Ray got up to get a washcloth to clean them up. He discarded it onto the floor in the bathroom once done, and climbed back into bed with Fraser. “Hey, let me rub your back, okay?”

Fraser relented and rolled over onto his stomach. Ray set about rubbing away his aches and tension from the day.

“You ever wonder where you would be if you would have made different decisions in your life, Ray?” Fraser asked.

“I used to, before I met you.” Ray stopped his massage when Fraser turned his head and looked up at him. He shrugged and continued. “But then, I look at where I am now, and I wouldn’t change anything, because then I wouldn’t be with you. What about you?”

“I would change a lot of things. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have a bullet in my back.” Fraser turned to the side Ray was sitting on and ran a hand down the length of his face. “And then, I would try my damnest to find you.”

“We’ll find Victoria, Ben, and then you can move on and forget about her.” Ray reassured his lover. “Come on, let’s go to sleep, tomorrow’s going to be a long day.” Ray slid under the covers and pulled Fraser close. He fell asleep dreaming of Dief and Fraser playing in the snow up in the frozen Yukon.

Fraser’s dreams were of raven hair blowing in the wind, escaping on a runaway train. The only snow falling was covering him as he lay motionless on the hard platform of a train station. Ray held him close as he trembled in his sleep.


	4. Rain Falls Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... if it weren't for a certain butterfly, this chapter would still be on the ground in caterpillar form... slowly transforming. You are amazing my friend! I hope everyone is enjoying. I love to hear your feedback... Enjoy my friends!

 

Fraser and Ray waited patiently tucked in their booth at the diner for their friend. Fraser was glancing nervously between his watch and the entrance. “Maybe you should call him, Ray.”   
  
Ray looked at Fraser and kept his voice low a smirk spreading across his face. “Ben… if we heard _him_ last night, he most definitely heard _us._ Maybe he’s trying to figure out how to look at us with a straight face.” Ray sat back in the booth and folded his arms across his chest. “Not that there’s anything to be embarrassed about… we’re all adults here, right? With healthy…”   
  
Fraser stopped Ray mid-sentence with slap to the thigh.  
  
“Ow, what was that for?” Ray asked with a huff as he rubbed his hand across his thigh to sooth away the sting.   
  
“I don’t believe the other patrons in the diner care to hear about our… _activities_ last night, Ray.” Fraser said, his voice low. A smile spread across his face. “But you can tell _me_ what you would like to do later this evening, when we are alone.” He rubbed his hand over Ray’s thigh affectionately. He leaned over and whispered in Ray’s ear. “Sorry about your leg…” Fraser straightened as Vecchio appeared in the doorway. “Ah, there’s our good friend, now.”  
  
Ray turned to see a weary Ray Vecchio trudging towards their table. He held his cup up in the air, signaling the waitress he was ready for a refill.  
  
“Good morning, Ray.” Fraser said cheerfully, still smiling.  
  
‘Too much enthusiasm, Ben,’ Ray thought to himself when he took in Vecchio’s appearance. He glanced at Vecchio’s clothing, and laughed inwardly. He and Fraser both were wearing jeans and faded t-shirts. He managed to talk Ben out of the flannel this morning and well... ‘He just never put it back on.’ Ray didn’t try to hide the smirk. Here Vecchio was in dress slacks and a polo shirt. ‘Whatever floats your boat,’ thought Ray. ‘I’m going for comfortable.’  
  
“Neither one of you are allowed to speak to me until I get a least a half a pot of coffee in me, deal?”  
  
Ray smirked and leaned toward Vecchio. “Get up on the wrong side of the bed, did ya?” Vecchio snarled and Ray sat back in his seat and ignored the warning glare from Fraser. He was feeling playful this morning. “God… you’re _grumpy_ in the morning. How does Stella put up with you?”  
  
“Yeah, well, I didn’t sleep very good last night and she puts up with me just fine. More than I can say for you.” Vecchio raised his own cup for the waitress and settled in across from Fraser. “Besides, is there even a _right_ side of the bed in this dump?”  
  
“I’m terribly sorry to hear that, Ray. Did you try running the fan in your room. Ambient sounds often help…” Fraser began to blush.  
  
“Drown out noises.” Ray finished Fraser’s sentence his smirk growing even bigger. “Right, Ben?” He gave Fraser’s thigh a loving squeeze.  
  
Fraser’s blush reached his ears. “Yes… that would be correct.” He fidgeted with his napkin. “I’m terribly sorry if… we uhm… well, if we, _you know_ …”  
  
“Spit it out, Benny.”  
  
Ray was enjoying this moment. The Mountie was fumbling over _his_ words. Ray took pity on him and interjected. “He’s sorry if you heard us last night.”  
  
Vecchio leaned his body forward. “ _Heard you_ … the whole state of Illinois heard you two last night.”  
  
“We weren’t that loud… _were we?”_ Ray asked, his own cheeks beginning to flush. “So ,that was _you_ then... that threw something against the wall?”  
  
“Yes… you were _that_ loud, even Stella heard you back home.” Vecchio finally let a smile appear on his face. “ _She’s_ the one that threw a phone book against the wall. Told me to tell you to knock it off.”  
  
A waitress appeared with coffee and Vecchio thanked her profusely. “You have no idea what a ‘god –send’ you are right now.”   
  
The three friends ordered breakfast and sipped their coffee waiting for the waitress to return with their food.   
  
Ray laughed again and stared bewildered at Vecchio. “ _Really?_ You heard us? All of it?”  
  
“I’m warning you, Kowalski… one more word and you’ll be wearing my toast…” Vecchio warned the blond.  
  
Ray held his hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry.” He took a swallow of his own coffee and sighed. “There’s nothing better than coffee to get you going in the morning.”  
  
Vecchio held his mug up in agreement.   
  


“Ray…” Fraser began and tried to hide the wince when he leaned over to pick his napkin off the floor.  
  
“What’s wrong, Ben?” Ray asked concerned.  
  
“It’s nothing… just a twinge in my shoulder. I’ll be alright.” Fraser assured both his friends.  
  
“You sure, Benny?”  
  
“Yes, I’m sure. Did you get a chance to ask Stella how Diefenbaker was getting along?”  
  
“Yeah. She said he was acting funny the other night. Her friend was over and Dief came out of the kitchen growling, acting like he wanted to eat her.”  
  
Fraser’s eyebrows drew together. “That’s odd, he’s usually quite friendly.”  
  
“That’s what she told her friend. They figured he just smelled her cat or something. She said he’s fine now. Just waiting for Kowalski to get home and feed him some doughnuts.”  
  
Ray grinned at Vecchio. “I have to sneak them past the Mountie.”  
  
Vecchio shook his head at the wolf’s choice in food. “Can you believe she wants to get a dog now?”  
  
Ray stared in disbelief. “Stella... wants a dog?”  
  
Vecchio shrugged and laughed. “She’s very fond of Diefenbaker. I don’t see why... damn mutt’s always stealing my bagel.”  
  
Ray nodded in understanding. “Now you see why _I_ feed him doughnuts. Otherwise, he would never leave my food alone.”  
  
“I’ve been thinking about it, though.” Vecchio stirred a packet of sugar into his coffee. He wrinkled his nose when Kowalski offered him his standard Smarties.  
  
“Getting a dog?” Fraser asked, his thoughts drifting to Diefenbaker. “They are wonderful companions.”  
  
“What kind would you get?” Ray snickered at the thought of Vecchio and dog fur. ‘It would be good for him, maybe calm him down a little. Both Frannie and Ben said he’d been stressed since Vegas.’ Ray knew Vecchio had a soft spot hidden in him somewhere.  
  
“Not one of those little ankle biters.” Vecchio shook his head. “No way... something bigger. Something that could protect Stella if there were a problem and I wasn’t home.” Vecchio looked at Fraser. “She likes Dief, you know.” Vecchio pointed his finger teasingly at his friend. “I should blame you for this.”  
  
“I accept all blame for Stella wanting a dog.” Fraser smiled at the good natured jab. ‘Ray was at least out of his earlier _mood.’_ “She warmed up to Diefenbaker quite quickly when the two of you returned from Florida.”  
  
“Hey... when you’re ready let us know and Fraser and I can help you pick a puppy out for her,” Ray offered sincerely.  
  
“Thanks… that would be... that would be great.” Vecchio took a sip of steaming coffee. ‘Benny’s got a good guy in Kowalski.’ “God... what did I just talk myself into? _A dog._..? Stella will love it.”  
  
Ray stole a glance out the diner window and a bright smile shone on his face. “It’s gonna be a beautiful day for a drive, fellas.”  
  
Fraser and Vecchio glanced at the endless blue sky and nodded in agreement.  
  
“Not a cloud in the sky.” Ray beamed and dropped his shades over his eyes. “What do you say we get out of here?”  
  


Ray stopped at the nearest station and filled the GTO up with gas. He followed Fraser’s directions to the main highway and eased into the oncoming traffic. Vecchio shifted uncomfortably in the backseat and let out a long sigh. Both Fraser and Kowalski were tall and there wasn’t much room for his own long legs with the seat pushed back. He angled his legs towards the side and shifted again. It was hopeless.   
  
“Hey Kowalski...” Vecchio tapped Ray on the shoulder. “I hope you like it, stuck back here when I’m driving. Jeez... couldn’t we rent a bigger car?”  
  
‘“There’s nothing wrong with the Goat...” Ray defended his ride. ‘God this guy’s moody. What’s wrong with him now?’ “Besides, what makes you think I’m going to let you drive?”  
  
“Well, the way I see it... it’s either me or the Mountie.” Ray glanced at Fraser and hung his head defeated. He knew where Vecchio was going with this. “You want to get there sometime today... you’ll let me drive.” ‘He was right... damnit.’ Fraser’s driving skills left something to be desired. He was an excellent driver, he was just _slow._  
  
Fraser turned in his seat and took in Vecchio’s cramped conditions. “Ray, would you like to switch places with me?”  
  
“Oh yeah, like sitting back here is going to do wonders for your back.” Vecchio replied sarcastically.  
  
Fraser rubbed his eyebrow. ‘Had he noticed?’ “My back is fine, let me switch with you.”  
  
“Yeah right...” Vecchio muttered under his breath. “You think we don’t notice it bothering you? Well... we do. Stay where you’re at.”  
  
“Well, if you change your mind...” Fraser turned his gaze to the cornfields passing by, ignoring Ray’s eyes on him. He noticed clouds accumulating in the blue sky. He closed his eyes briefly and tried to ignore the ever present ache next to his spine. ‘I’m okay,’ he told himself.   
  
“It’s fine, Benny. Thanks for the offer.” Vecchio shifted in the back seat trying to get more comfortable. “So, how long’s this gonna take? I have a life to get back to you know.” Vecchio said, sounding annoyed.   
  
“Well, it is roughly seven hours to Syracuse, Ray.” Fraser said, trying to sound bright.   
  
“Yeah,” Ray said. ‘Jeez, there are too many ‘Rays’ in this car,’ he thought. He grinned sideways at Ben. “I know. We can play ‘I Spy.’”  
  
Vecchio snorted. “I spy with my little eye, _cornfields_.” ‘Lots of them,’ he thought to himself.  
  
Ben was smiling, but pretending to be prim. “That’s not how you play it. You’re supposed to give the letter, and we guess what you’re looking at.”  
  
“I’m looking at endless fields of corn. That’s all there is to see in this damn place. Oh wait, I think that was a bean field, just for change of scenery. Oh... and clouds. Lots of clouds.”  
  
Ray glanced at the sky. It had been darkening over the last hour. ‘Great. I hope we don’t have a storm to drive through.’  
  
“Depending on what we find,” Fraser added, “we should be home by tomorrow evening.”  
  
“Wonderful... another night with you two. You realize I am getting my own room this time… on the o _ther s_ ide of the hotel. So, you can make as much noise as you want and keep someone else up all night.”  
  
‘He sounds tired,’ Ray thought. ‘Maybe he can catch a nap, it’s gonna be a long drive.’

  
“I thought getting some waffles in you and a pot of coffee would get rid of your foul mood.” Ray glanced at Vecchio in the rearview mirror and smiled, trying to make a joke of it. “What’s with you man?”   
  


Vecchio ignored Ray, staring out the window as yet another cornfield rolled by. “What did you ever see in Victoria?” he asked, out of the blue.  
  
‘Uh oh...’ thought Ray. ‘Don’t go there, Vecchio...’   
  
Fraser gathered his thoughts. He hadn’t expected a question like that. In all this time, he had never really talked about Victoria to his friend. How could he explain this?  
  
“She was beautiful,” he thought back to the first time he saw her in Chicago. “And she had the most soothing voice, besides my mother’s, that I had ever heard,” Fraser smiled, but it was a sad smile. “But she made me weak. I almost let her destroy me... ‘No’, he admitted to himself. ‘I _did_ let her destroy me.’ “I fell into her web of deceit and I let her charms fool me.”  
  
Vecchio was thinking… ‘For the _right_ woman, a man will do _anything._.. _I get that._ But she was the _wrong_ woman. Benny was lonely and vulnerable. That witch came along and took advantage of him.’ Vecchio swallowed. ‘He’s not lonely now. He doesn’t need me as a partner, he’s got Kowalski.’   
That didn’t make it hurt any less. Their friendship had shifted to another level. Vecchio felt a lump forming in his throat.  
  
“You realize she’s not going to be there, don’t you Benny?” Vecchio stated matter- of- fact.  
  
“It’s a lead, Ray.” Fraser’s voice was tight. “We have to check it out.”  
  
“No, you think _you_ have to check it out. I’m fine with never finding the bitch.”  
  
“Ah…” Fraser rubbed a thumb over his eyebrow.  
  
“‘ _Ah?’_ What’s ‘ah’ supposed to mean? I hate it when you give your one word answers, Benny. You have a vocabulary the size of Canada and all you can come up with is ‘ah’.”  
  
“What I _meant_ was... Is _that_ why you weren’t trying to get any real information out of Greta?”  
  
‘Uh oh,’ Ray thought. ‘Back off, Ben, he’s in a bad mood already. ‘God, this is gonna be an even longer drive if this keeps going.’  
  
“What are you talking about?” Vecchio’s voice was sharp. He glared at the back of Fraser’s head. “I questioned her, didn’t I?”  
  
“Yes, you did.” Fraser was irritated with his friend. “But your heart wasn’t in it, not like it would be on a regular case.”  
  
“Well, I didn’t think she’d have anything to tell us,” Vecchio snapped. “I was hoping then you’d let this crazy idea go.”  
  
“So, you were humoring me then... is that it?” Fraser demanded, turning his glare to the back seat’s occupant.   
  
Ray took his eyes off the road, glancing sideways at his partner. ‘This ain’t normal for them. What the hell is going on?’ Fraser looked disappointed.  
  
“I wanted to be there for you, when it didn’t work out... that’s all….” Vecchio shrugged.  
  
“And now that we have a clue… you want to give up?”  
  
‘Oh damn.’ The Goat was beginning to stall and Ray had to pull over. ‘Just what I need, car trouble on top of people trouble.’  
  


The dark clouds were threatening to open up and a clap of thunder made Ray jump.  
  
Vecchio was still arguing from the back seat. “It’s not that I want to give up. I’m a cop; of course I want to see her behind bars.” ‘Vecchio didn’t sound all that convincing.’ Ray thought. “I don’t want to see you get hurt again.” ‘Yeah, well. He means _that.’_  
  
“Victoria’s partly responsible for the fires that Greta set, including burning down your home. Don’t you want to see her held accountable for endangering your sister’s life?”  
  
“Of course, I do.” Vecchio spread his arms out in a helpless gesture. “But like I told Kowalski, you don’t open up old wounds. Somebody’s going to end up getting hurt, Benny and...” his voice trailed off exhaustedly. “I’m not sure I can deal with that again.”  
  
“You think I’m going to run off with her, don’t you?” Fraser stared out the front windshield as the raindrops began to fall.  
  
“The thought crossed my mind.” Vecchio shoved the back of Fraser’s seat. “You know what I think, Benny? I think you have a death wish.”  
  
“I assure you,” Fraser said, stiffly, “I have no death wish and I’m not going anywhere with her.”  
  
“Why can’t you ever let anything go,” Vecchio asked, wearily. “We always have to do this. You get an idea stuck in your head, I tell you it’s stupid, next thing I know somebody’s trying to kill us and you’ve ruined yet _another_ suit of mine. I can’t do it anymore.”  
  
‘Oh God.’ Ray thunked his head on the steering wheel. He didn’t want to hear them fighting but- what if Ben needed him? ‘Just keep your mouth shut and let them get it out of their system. They’re friends, it won’t take long. Then I can fix the damn car. Hopefully the rain will have stopped by then.’  
  
Fraser was sounding snippy, still talking to Vecchio. “I’m sorry to inconvenience you, Ray.”  
  
“You’re always pulling that shit with me, Benny.”  
  
“Why did you come then?”  
  
“Why do you think, Benny? Because you asked me. We’ve got to stop doing this to each other. What are you going to do when you find her?” Vecchio asked coldly. “Do you trust yourself enough to walk away this time? Because if you can’t… we better just go home.”  
  
“I thought you trusted him.” Ray spoke for the first time. Lightening lit up the darkened sky. Thunder erupted, startling all three men. ‘Fuck, that was loud,’ Ray cursed as he tried to even out his breathing.  
  
“I _did_ trust him… and then _he_ jumped bail.”  
  
Fraser threw the door open, unexpectedly, and stormed out of the car, his anger rising to the surface.  
  
‘What the hell?’ “What do you think you’re doing, Ben? _Get back in the car!”_ The rain was beginning to fall heavily. “What is your problem, Vecchio?” Ray shouted.  
  
“You wanted to get it _all_ out in the open, Kowalski…”  
  
“I didn’t want you to tear him to shreds in the process.” Ray stepped out into the rain and shivered. He gave Vecchio a quick glare before slamming the door.   
  
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Vecchio flung the door open and stepped out into a puddle. ‘ _Fucking fantastic!_ ’ He’d been wondering how long till Fraser ruined his clothes and now there was mud splattered down his new dress slacks.  
  


The rain was quickly soaking through Fraser’s thin t-shirt. He now wished he had put his flannel back on this morning. He had no idea what to say to his friend’s _accusations…_ he moved away from the car, trying to get some space from his advancing friend.   
  
Vecchio ran toward the field, trying to catch up with Frasers’ retreating form... his suede shoes soaking up mud and water with each step. He placed a firm hand unknowingly on Fraser’s injured shoulder, stopping his friend.  
  
Fraser spun around, dislodging Vecchio’s hand from his shoulder. Pain clearly written across his face. “What do you want me to say, Ray?” Fraser yelled in his face. “I made a mistake… and I’ve paid a very high price for that mistake.” He ran his fingers through his hair, swiping water from his face. “I can’t go back in time and change what I’ve done. Nothing I ever say is going to make that decision right... and I can’t _ever_ take it back. I wish to God I could.”  
  
“And you think going after Victoria is going to change that now? You didn’t forgive me, did you?” Vecchio sounded choked. “I thought we’d moved on.” He stared at the puddles forming around his feet, miserably. “I forgave you.”   
  
“Did you? _Really_? You shot me… and I’ve come to accept that...”   
  
‘Oh God... _Ben_.’ Ray didn’t know if he wanted to give him a hug, or yell at him for upsetting Vecchio. Or yell at Vecchio for upsetting Ben. Leave it... this fight had been a long time coming. He walked around to the hood of the GTO. He had to fix her anyway.  
  
“You’re right,” Fraser was saying. “I haven’t forgiven you.” Over at the car, Ray flinched and took shelter behind the hood from the quarreling friends. “How can I forgive you when I can’t even forgive myself?” Ray stood up sharply, banging his head on the hood of the car. ‘What did Ben just say?’  
  
“I can’t forgive myself or you, until I find her.”  
  
“Well, I forgave _you,_ you _fucking Mountie!”_ Vecchio’s voice cracked and he was suddenly shouting. “But you just can’t fucking let go of the past. So _what…_ you just carried on like nothing ever happened? Like I _didn’t_ put a bullet in your back?”  
  
“Hey!” Kowalski yelled from under the hood. “Stop that, _both_ of you. _Play nice or get out of the sandbox!”_  
  
Fraser glared in Ray’s direction. “Stay out of it, Ray. This isn’t your fight.”  
  
“Yeah, just fix your fucking car, _Kowalski!”_ Vecchio screamed over his shoulder.  
  
“Fine...” Ray muttered under his breath. He was hurt by Fraser’s dismissal and realized if he did get involved, Vecchio would only end up blaming him. He was Fraser’s best friend, he didn’t need a falling out with the guy. He couldn’t resist a jab at the two. “Someone’s gotta be the g _rown -up a_ round here!” Ray returned to his repairs. ‘Not gonna fix itself.’  
  
“I made a mistake, Ray,” Fraser said, turning back to Vecchio. “I didn’t know how to make it right.”  
  
“I could have lost _everything_ by you going with her.  
  
“Well, you effectively stopped me.” Fraser’s mouth was narrowed in a bitter line.  
  
“I trusted you, Benny…” Ray couldn’t tell if Vecchio was miserable or angry, but he knew he felt betrayed. ‘God’ he thought, as he worked on the engine, ‘I wish I didn’t have to hear this. They’re tearing each other to pieces.’  
  
“And I let you down.”  
  
“Yeah. Yeah, you did, Benny. And look at you. So fucking perfect with _everything_.”  
  
‘Oh shit.’ Ray looked up and Vecchio had the flat of his hand on Ben’s chest. Ben was rigid and Vecchio- ‘Shit’. Vecchio was literally pushing it. Ray dropped the wrench and prepared to move in if he had to. ‘Vecchio’s gonna lose it.’  
  
“Don’t say that. You of all people know I am far from perfect. Stop treating me like I’m a damn saint.” Fraser shoved away Vecchio’s hand.  
  
“Stop _pretending_ you are a damn saint then. You have the whole world fooled, with all your polite Mountie shit. Hell, you even have Kowalski snowballed into believing you’re a saint.”  
  
“Leave him out of this.” Fraser warned. “When did you become so cold hearted?”

  
“Too much compassion gets people like you killed, Benny.” Vecchio pulled a face, like he was thinking of something unpleasant.   
  
“People like me?”  
  
“Yeah. I’ve seen it. People like you, thinking they can bulldoze in and fix the world. ‘Oh’” Vecchio put on a voice in mockery of someone. “‘Here’s a good idea. Let’s take down the mob.’ And people like me get dragged along and chewed up, and people like you end up buried in concrete.”  
  
Fraser’s face shut down, unreadable. “You’re trying to make me feel sorry for you because you went to Vegas? I didn’t make you go undercover with the mob.”  
  
“No... but _you_ _made_ _me think_ it was possible to change the world.” Vecchio suddenly looked desperate. “And look at _me_. Look at _you_ , Benny. When have you ever had to sacrifice a damn thing?”  
  
“What would you know about what I’ve had to give up in my life?”  
  
“I had to leave my family, my home, my fucking life… and for what? To come home and find out that my partner took off to Canada with my replacement.”  
  
“The only reason you have more to lose is that _you had something_ to lose in the first place. Do you know how hard it was for me when I came back and you were gone? No explanation, everything I cared about and loved was taken from me again. I lost my home too, Ray… it may not have meant anything to you, but it was still _my home_.”  
  
“I know it was your home, Benny. And you were... you were my brother. You think it was easy for me to leave you? You think I did it from choice? You have no idea why I did it.”  
  
“Why did you do it?”  
  
“It’s none of your damn business!” Vecchio was shouting again. “And it’s not like you even care.”  
  
“I _do_ care.”  
  
“No you don’t. I used to think you did and then you left with that damn bitch Victoria.”  
  
“I didn’t leave -”  
  
“You were going to! You’d have left me and all my family homeless. I could have gone to prison- they’d have thought you were a thief and I was your accomplice. But you didn’t care about any of that, you didn’t care about me.” Vecchio was stepping up into Fraser’s space again, shoving.   
  
“Back off, Ray.” Fraser warned, taking a step back. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
“For God’s sake, you’re doing it again. This isn’t you going to bring her in. This is you, still running after that damn train.”   
  
_“Back the fuck off!”_ Fraser screamed.  
  
Ray’s head shot up like a rocket. ‘Fuck... Fraser just said ‘fuck’. Oh God...’  
  
“How the hell is Kowalski going to feel when you dump him for her, like you dumped me?”  
  
It took a fraction of a second for Fraser’s right fist to connect with Vecchio’s jaw, knocking his friend to the ground. Fraser was shaking as he took a step backwards, the fight no longer in him.

“Go home, Ray.” Ben’s voice was dejected.  
  


Ray heard the punch. Thunder rumbled- he stepped out from under the hood. He thought he’d see Fraser on the ground but- ‘oh my God. That’s Vecchio. Ben just slugged Vecchio. Shit- this is beyond out of hand.’ Ray knew the power behind a punch from Ben. Vecchio had to be seeing stars. He ran over to his friend on the ground and attempted to help him up.

Vecchio was rubbing his jaw and shoved Kowalski’s hands away. “Get the fuck away from me.”

Ray held his hands up and went to Fraser’s side. He noticed the blood on his knuckle as it mixed with the pouring rain. “Ben…”

Fraser was shaking as the rain soaked him to the core. “Go home, Ray,” his voice quivered as he addressed the man he had just knocked down into the mud.

Vecchio knew that he’d drawn the line in the sand. Fraser stared at his friend, and shook out his hand. His knuckles were bleeding- Ray’s cheekbone probably hurt more. But- Fraser had clearly told him what line not to cross. ‘ _Leave him out of it_ ,’ he’d warned, when Ray brought _his Ray_ into it. And then Ray- his o _ther Ray_ \- crossed that line. ‘Why did he do that? Why did I do that?’ Fraser had no idea.

Vecchio pulled himself off the ground, brushing the majority of mud off his leg. He stared hard at his former partner and friend. “No need to tell me twice.” He straightened his ruined jacket on his shoulders and turned towards the road. “Try not to let him get you killed, Kowalski,” he yelled over his shoulder. He passed the broken down car and held his head high. ‘Broken down car… broken down friendship. I knew someone was going to get hurt, just didn’t realize it was going to be me,’ Vecchio thought bitterly.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Ray shouted at his back.

“ _Home_ … and don’t bother trying to stop me,” Vecchio yelled back.

“How?” Ray questioned.

“I’ll hitch a ride... I have a fucking credit card, I’ll buy a fucking car if I have too.”

“Vecchio…” Ray called after him. Vecchio didn’t bother to respond. _“Ray!”_ the blond detective tried again, raising his voice above the thunder.

“ _What?”_ Vecchio kept on walking.

“At least call me when you get there… _please!”_ Ray wasn’t above begging at this juncture.

 _“Whatever…”_ Vecchio’s voice trailed off as he disappeared down the road.

 

Ray turned to his partner and took in Fraser’s appearance. He was soaked and shivering. A hollow, shocked expression covered his face. Ray hung his head. He wasn’t used to being the peacemaker in an argument. It was usually Ben calming him down. Victoria was destroying them and she wasn’t even around to witness her handiwork.

Ray stood beside Fraser and was silent for a moment trying to figure out what to say. Ben punching Vecchio shocked the hell out of him. “Look… I know that Vecchio gave as good as he got, but you were behaving like an ass, right along with him.”

Fraser stood there motionless as the thunder clapped around him. He didn’t acknowledge his lover’s voice. He didn’t acknowledge the pouring rain around him. He _felt_ _the piercing_ of a bullet in his back and stood paralyzed, as he watched his friend walk away.

Ray ran his hand through his soaked hair, dislodging a small amount of rain. He stepped behind Ben and wrapped both arms around his waist. He locked their fingers together and pulled Ben against his chest. “Ben…” he spoke quietly, resting his forehead against the back of Fraser’s head. “Why are you pushing so hard?” He felt Fraser begin to tremble in his embrace. His head fell forward and he kissed the back of Ben’s neck. “You can tell me… _whatever it is_.”

He felt Fraser take a deep breath and let it out slowly. He tightened his grip on Fraser’s hands, passing along his inner strength to his lover.

“I have to have surgery, Ray.” Fraser was broken.

‘Fuck! Why didn’t I see this coming?’ Ray scolded himself. ‘I’m supposed to be his _partner_.’

“I have to find her before…” Fraser faltered, “before I’m not able… not able to walk.”

‘Oh my God…’ Ray thought back over the past few months for signs of Fraser’s back bothering him. ‘Ben and his damn poker face.’

“That’s why this is so important.” It wasn’t a question, Ray already knew the answer.

“Yes…”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything? You know I would have been there for you.”

Fraser let out a bitter laugh. “I was hoping the pain would go away. Some days, it’s not there at all. The last few weeks it won’t go away.”

“How soon?” Ray wasn’t sure he wanted to be having this discussion in the rain, but Fraser wasn’t moving towards the car. He was rooted in place, still staring after Vecchio.

“A few weeks.” Fraser admitted quietly. “I’m sorry, Ray.” Fresh tears mixed with the rain as they slid down his cheeks. Ray’s own tears were mixing with the rain running down Fraser’s neck.

“Come out of the rain, Ben. Let’s get you in the car.” Ray walked Fraser towards the car and helped him in. He popped the trunk and retrieved their travel bag. A change of clothes was going to be necessary once he got the car fixed.

He glanced down the road and saw no signs of Vecchio. He hoped his friend was okay.

 

Another twenty minutes under the hood and Ray had the GTO running again. He stopped at the first gas station and he filled the car up with the appropriate fluids it had lost when it broke down. He and Fraser took turns using the men’s room to change into dry clothes.

He waited in the car while Fraser was changing and took the opportunity to call Vecchio’s cell. He got his voicemail, which meant he had probably switched it off. He left a message anyway. He was his friend after all.

“Hey, it’s Ray. Listen, I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay. And there are a few things you need to know, but I don’t want to tell you over your voice mail. Just understand that he has to finish this and he has to do that now, not later. Please, give me a call when you get this.” Ray flipped the phone closed and leaned his head back against his head rest, closing his eyes. He had a headache the size of Canada.

Fraser slid into the seat next to him, his hair still damp. He had already placed a bandage over his bloody knuckles. He offered Ray a small smile as he settled into his seat. Both men were exhausted and they still had a long drive ahead of them.

   
“You ready?” Ray asked.

Fraser nodded. He placed his hand on top of Ray’s before he could start the engine. He locked eyes with his lover. “I’m sorry, Ray. I never meant for things to turn out this way.”

Ray turned his hand over and grasped Fraser’s hand in his own. He leaned forward and captured Fraser’s lips in a desperate kiss. “I know… let’s go find the bitch.”


	5. What a Tangled Web We Weave...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A week ago, I didn't want to finish this story... Then I got a fire lit under my butt... Thanks butterflyghost for the push and the endless help.  
> To everyone that is following, I hope you enjoy, this was a labor of love...

Ray Vecchio was cold, soaking wet and miserable by the time he walked the mile and a half in the pouring rain to the nearest town. There was no way in hell in he was going back to Fraser and Kowalski and continuing the wild goose chase they had started two days ago. No way in _Hell_. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. It was full of mud and water from when Fraser knocked him on his ass. He rubbed a thumb over his left cheekbone. The Mountie packed a powerful punch. Who knew?  
  
The clerk at the car rental agency eyed Vecchio the moment he walked in the door. She gave him the once over and let out a small laugh. “Is it raining out?” she asked as her small chuckle turned into a full blown laugh.  
  
Vecchio slid his muddy wallet across the counter intentionally leaving a dirty trail. “No, not at all.” Vecchio replied sarcastically. “I need to rent a car, if you don’t mind.” He stole a glance out the window. “I need to get to Chicago.” He leaned his back against the counter. “Today, not tomorrow, if it’s not too much to ask,” he threw over his shoulder.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she apologized while rolling her eyes at his back. ‘What a pain in the ass,’ she thought to herself. ‘What’s his problem today? Not like I asked God to make it rain cats and dogs out there.’ She rolled her eyes again at his foul mood. ‘Who does he think he is messing up _my c_ ounter?’ “I couldn’t resist. It’s not everyday someone comes in soaked to the bone. Car trouble?” she asked as she typed his information into the computer.  
  
Vecchio turned his back to her and stared out the window in the direction of the broken down car a mile and a half away. “You could say that,” his voice trailed off as he rubbed the ache out of his jaw. He was going to have a hell of a bruise.  
  
“Would you like the insurance?” the clerk asked as she took in his disheveled appearance. She leaned forward and whispered across the counter. “Sir, if you don’t have a change of clothes… I w _ould take the insurance.”_  
  
Vecchio looked himself over and felt his shoulders droop. ‘Just perfect.’ As if things weren’t miserable enough, he’d left his bag in the back of Kowalski’s broken down, piece of shit car. “Fine,” he said. “Why not? Add it in.” ‘Stanley had better not use my silk tie to replace the fan belt.’  
  
‘He’s getting the shittiest car on the lot.’ The clerk suppressed the urge to laugh in his face. “That’s a very wise decision, Sir. Wouldn’t want you to get charged for any damage caused by the water and uh... the mud.”  
  
He signed the necessary paperwork and left the office in search of his rental. He stopped in front an Oldsmobile Cutlass Sierra in the ugliest color of mustard yellow he had ever seen. This was right up there with having to share a motel room with Kowalski _… it sucked._ ‘And it’s my own damn fault for pissing people off all the time. I even managed to piss off the politest person in the world. Who cares, as long as it gets me home.’ He started the engine and pulled out onto the highway, never once looking back. Ray put his brave front in the backseat and let the tears flow.  
  
  
  
Ray and Fraser pulled out onto the same highway and took the exit that led to Indiana. ‘Vecchio was right,’ Ray thought as they passed another cornfield. ‘That’s all there is in this place, cornfield after cornfield.’ He stole a sideways glance at Fraser. They had been traveling for three hours and he had drifted off to sleep. His face was relaxed and his lips no longer were drawn in a tight line.

‘He looks good,’ Ray thought. ‘Much better than about four hours ago when he was soaked to the bone and full of anger.’ Ray glanced at Fraser’s bandaged knuckle and wondered what Vecchio had said to make Fraser furious enough to hit him. By that stage of the argument, the two men were out of earshot, their words drowned out, for the most part, by the pounding rain. All Ray heard, clearly, was Fraser screaming ‘fuck off’ and wasn’t that louder than any thunder he had ever heard. Then the thump. Ben would tell him when he was ready. He just had to be patient.  
  
Fraser stirred in his seat and slowly woke up. His relaxed features during sleep disappeared as he let out a yawn. Tension returned to his shoulders as he straightened himself in his seat. His lips formed a tight line as his thoughts drifted back to the argument with his friend. He fingered his sore knuckles, trying to imagine how his other Ray must be feeling. ‘I _certainly_ am feeling guilty.’ He stretched his neck and his arms and let out a sigh.

Glancing out the window, he noticed it had stopped raining and the sky was slowly clearing. He turned his attention to Ray. “How long have I been asleep?” He rubbed a hand over his face and yawned again. “Would you like me to drive?”  
  
“You’ve been asleep over an hour. I thought we could find a diner… grab a bite to eat. Maybe stretch our legs. Then we can switch.”   
  
Fraser nodded and cracked his neck. “That sounds good. I’m sorry, Ray… I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I didn’t realize I was even tired.”   
  
Ray waved off the apology. “Willie Nelson and his ‘On the Road Again’ have been keeping me company. No big deal. It’s been an exhausting morning.” Ray gave Fraser a careful smile and shrugged. “Fights usually lead to exhaustion.” He noticed how Fraser’s relaxed posture while he was asleep had morphed into a tension filled Mountie the moment he woke up. He knew Fraser had to be still upset and it was evident in his body language. “I’ll be more than ready to fall into bed with you tonight.” He gave a tender squeeze to Fraser’s thigh.   
  
“Where are we anyway?” Fraser asked, taking in his surroundings as though he had nothing else on his mind. But for the tight line of anxiety between his eyebrows, you would have thought nothing _was_ wrong. The cornfields had been replaced by strip malls and fast food joints and the occasional restaurant.  
  
“We, my friend, are on the north side of Indianapolis. Another three hours and we should be there.” Ray let out a laugh. “Well, four, the way you drive. Don’t worry, I’m sure there are plenty more cornfields to pass along the way.”  
  
“Funny.” Fraser said in a dry tone of voice. “You should have been a comedian with Huey and Dewey.”   
  
Ray smiled at Fraser’s joke, though he was worried about his mood. “I don’t hardly think so,” he said to keep things as cheerful as they could be. “Besides, you my friend would get bored without me around all day.”  
  
“Well, that’s not entirely true, Ray. There are plenty of mental exercises I could practice…”  
  
“Zip it, Ben. I don’t want to hear about any mental exercises.” Ray held up his hand before Fraser could continue on what he knew would be an Inuit story next. “No Inuit stories either. Not until we are out of the enclosed space of a car and I can walk away from you.”  
  
Some of the tension eased out of Fraser’s shoulders and his lips turned upward into a sly smile.  
  
Ray shot him a look as he pulled into a parking space in front of a diner. “What are you all grins about all of a sudden?”  
  
“Would you like to hear a Chicago story instead?”  
  
Intrigued, Ray put the car in park. “Chicago story, huh? Will I like this one?”  
  
Fraser swirled his fingers down the length of Ray’s arm. “You might.” Fraser withdrew his fingers and reached for the door handle instead.   
  
Ray sat there shocked and a little turned on. “Hey… that’s not fair.”  
  
Ben smiled at his lover. “Later, Ray… I’m hungry.” Fraser opened his door and got out stretching his legs and back.  
  
Ray met Ben at the front of the car and matched his stride toward the diner. “That’s not very Mountie like, Benton Fraser.” He gave Fraser a swat to the backside. Fraser jumped and Ray laughed. “ _That’s_ for teasing me.”

  
  
Ray Vecchio breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the Chicago skyline come into view. ‘Home sweet home,’ he thought. He had been pulled over by some local cop a few hours ago and managed to talk himself out of a ticket. ‘Professional courtesy,’ he told the young officer. ‘God, rookies… they get younger and younger.’ He didn’t like to use his new job as an advisor for the Feds to intimidate the young officer into giving him a warning. But today, he just wasn’t in the mood to play by the rules.  
  
He had debated for the last hour whether to go straight home or take a detour through the shower at the 2-7. Stella wasn’t expecting him home until tomorrow evening and he didn’t want to go home covered in mud, sporting a shiner. He was already going to have a lot of explaining to do. This way, he could delay it a little longer.   
  
He made it into the locker room without being noticed and better yet, stopped by anyone. He grabbed a change of clothes out of his locker and headed to the showers. He stopped in front of Kowalski’s locker and stared at it. It still had ‘Vecchio’ written in black ink on a piece of masking tape across the top. The man apparently didn’t have a problem still being linked to his name. He moved his hand to rip the tape off and stopped. Instead he smoothed it down with his fingers and stepped away. He disregarded the lockers and went to stand under a hot stream of water to de-mud himself. ‘It feels good to be clean again.’   
  
He took another ten minutes under the hot water to work out his aches and pains from the cramped back seat, and Fraser’s powerful punch. He was going to have a hell of a bruise. ‘I can’t believe he hit me.’ The thought hurt almost worse than his aching face. He toweled off and slid into clean dress slacks. His dry cleaner was going to earn his money this week.  
  
Vecchio was leaving the locker rooms and ran into the one person he was avoiding… his wife. She was just as shocked to see him as he was her. He pulled her in for a lingering kiss. “God, I’ve missed you.” He was desperate for some affection to replace the hurt he was feeling. Ray wasn’t ready for the questions he knew would be coming.  
  
“Ray,” she finally got out after the kissing stopped. “What are you doing here? Not that I’m complaining, I missed you too. You guys are back home already?”  
  
“Not exactly, Stella.”  
  
“Walk with me. I have a meeting with Lieutenant Welsh and two other detectives on my case for tomorrow.” Stella began walking toward the bullpen with Ray following close behind. “What do you mean by ‘not exactly’? What happened?”  
  
“Well, it’s a bit of a long story.”  
  
“I have time for the short version.” Stella stopped and turned to face her husband. She took her hand and turned his chin. “Oh my God, what happened to you?” Stella’s face hardened. “Did Ray hit you? Here I thought you two were getting along so well.”  
  
“No, no…” Vecchio’s voice trailed off. “It wasn’t Ray.”  
  
“Who then? You piss off a local?” Stella asked confused.  
  
‘Yeah, well she would think that. It’s what I do.’ “Would you believe I tripped over a cornstalk?” Vecchio tried to lighten the mood and distract his wife. It didn’t work.  
  
“No… I don’t believe that, Ray. And I don’t believe you fell down the stairs or walked into a door.” Concerned, she touched the bruise and he winced, turning his eyes away. She bit her lip. She’d never wanted to see that look on her husband’s face, though she knew he’d worn it often as a child. He’d been hit, and by someone he cared about. “You don’t like dog fur on your clothes. I find it hard to believe you were in a cornfield and tripped over a stalk. Seriously, Ray… who hit you?”  
  
Vecchio said nothing. Stella’s eyes widened as realization hit her.  
  
“Oh God… it was Ben, wasn’t it?” Vecchio remained quiet. “Honey, what happened?”  
  
Ray had had roughly six hours to ponder that exact question. ‘What _had_ happened?’ he asked himself. But he already knew the answer. He and Benny were both at fault and both knew what buttons to push to upset the other.  
  
“I pushed him too far. I’m not going to say Benny didn’t have it coming, because he did. But I may have gone too far.” Vecchio hung his head.  
  
Stella stepped close to her husband and took his hand. “What did he do?”  
  
“Does it really matter?” he asked defensively.  
  
“It does to you.” She frowned, puzzled. ‘It did to Ben too...’ she thought. Normally she would never forgive someone for hitting her husband, but... _Ben?_ It made no sense. Something was very wrong.  
  
“It did to him…” Stella was right and Ray knew it. “Did you say something about Ray, Ray?”  
  
Vecchio let out a chuckle at the overuse of his name. “I might have…”  
  
Stella slapped his arm, affectionately. “What is wrong with you?”  
  
Vecchio flinched; still shocked that Benny would ever hit him. “I’m tired Stell. That’s all. Just sick and tired.”  
  
Stella wrapped her arms around her husband and stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “I’m sorry,” she could tell he was torn and hurting. “But that’s no excuse, Ray… he’s your friend.”  
  
“I’m not making excuses. And no… he’s not my friend anymore.” Ray smiled, painfully, like he was trying to lessen the blow. “The ‘Ray’ he was friends with died in the desert…” Vecchio’s thoughts trailed off. “I only just realized…”  
  
“You don’t mean that…” Stella rubbed a soothing hand down his arm.   
  
“It’s not his fault I didn’t come back.”  
  
“Maybe he’s not dead after all. It takes a man to be able to admit something like that.” Stella tightened her arms around Ray’s waist, laying her head on his chest. “Listen to me… I didn’t know you or Ben before you went undercover in Vegas, but I am pretty certain that neither one of you are the same people anymore. He’s still your friend, Ray.”  
  
“I don’t know how to talk to him. I mean, how do you say sorry for something so hurtful?”  
  
“Three simple words…”  
  
“I won’t say I didn’t mean it, because I did- but, I just didn’t want to hurt him.”  
  
“It’s easy, Ray. I- am- sorry.”  
  
“How’d I end up with a smart woman?”  
  
“You’re just lucky is all.” Stella gave Ray an affectionate kiss. “I have this meeting and then then two of us are going home.”  
  
Lieutenant Welsh emerged from his office and noticed Vecchio leaning against Kowalski’s desk. “Listen, I seem to be missing a detective, Vecchio. You wouldn’t want to go undercover as Kowalski for a few days would you? He needs to hurry up and get his ass back here. He has to testify at this guy’s hearing in two days. Where did he and Fraser go again?”  
  
“That would be Cornfield, Indiana, Sir. And no, I don’t believe that I can pull off the experimental hair to go undercover for him.”  
  
“Well, if you talk to him, tell him to hurry it up. Weren’t you supposed to go with them?”  
  
“There was a bit of a problem with that, Sir. I’m sure they will be fine.”  
  
Welsh nodded his head as if he understood. He handed Ray a file. “I know I’m not your boss anymore, but could you toss this in his inbox for old time’s sake? It’s the file he needs to look through if he ever decides to come back. Mrs. Vecchio, we’re ready for you, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“I’m sorry, hon. I won’t be long. You want to wait for me?”  
  
Vecchio accepted the file from Welsh. “Sure, I’ll wait for you.”

Stella disappeared into Welsh’s office and Vecchio took a seat at Kowalski’s desk. Ray grinned as he took in the site of the blond detective’s desk. Kowalski’s organizational skills had improved considerably since he saw his desk the first time after returning from Vegas. Vecchio laughed… ‘Had to be the Mountie.’

Ray flipped open his cell phone and turned it on. He listened to the message from Kowalski. “Whatever you have to say can wait. I’m in no mood to talk to either one of you right now.”

He stashed his phone in his pocket and scanned the contents on the top of the desk again. Kowalski was organized. He had to give him that. He picked up a framed photo of Benny and Ray. They looked happy together. Vecchio remembered taking the picture for them. There was banquet for the new class of rookies. Everyone was required to attend. Afterwards, they met up at a favorite bar. ‘Benny in a bar, now that was odd.’ But there he was stuck to Kowalski’s side all night. He even had a drink in front of him, and it was almost empty. There were cameras going around for people to take pictures and Kowalski tossed one at him and then pulled Benny close.

Vecchio exhaled slowly. Both he and Benny were different people now. Changed by the decisions and the mistakes they had both made. If Benny knew every horrible decision he had made in Vegas… Ray stopped and pondered that thought. The things he had done were far worse than what Benny had done to him, only Benny didn’t know any of that. And that wasn’t fair to Benny. How was he supposed to know what Ray didn’t tell him? He only wished he had been brave enough to tell his friend how much help he needed getting back to his old life. It was too late for that now. Or was it? He could still get his old shoes to fit if he worked hard enough at it, and asked for help. Ray knew that he had some things that he needed to let go of as well.   
  
Out of habit, Vecchio flipped open the file Welsh had given and began to read. Kowalski was supposed to be back to testify at this hearing. ‘Somebody should tell him to get his ass back here.’ He studied the file to see what the case was about. Something was tickling the back of Vecchio’s brain. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.  
  
  
  
  
When they had passed through Normal, Indiana, both Fraser and Ray let out a sarcastic laugh. Was there even such a thing as ‘normal’ anymore? Ray could only imagine the jokes people who lived there had to hear on a daily basis.   
  
“Hey, Ben, look- we’re ‘normal’ now.”

“I don’t feel normal,” Fraser said as they passed the seven little houses and then the sign planted alongside another field of corn. He rubbed a thumb over his aching knuckles and stretched out his fingers that were wrapped around the steering wheel. ‘Can you ever go back to _normal_?’ he thought dryly. ‘Perhaps only if I go back home.’ And by home, he wasn’t thinking Chicago.  
  
Fraser pulled into the parking lot of the Brookside Inn located in Syracuse and Ray thanked his lucky stars they finally made it. Fraser had obeyed every last traffic law and Ray was halfway past crazy.   
  
Fraser needed to stretch his legs so he offered to go rent them a room. Ray was exhausted and didn’t object. It was close to five in the afternoon and Ray was very certain he could sleep the remainder of the day away. What he needed first and knew Ben needed as well was a hot shower.   
  
“Don’t be long,” Ray’s eyes pleaded. ‘There’s no need to give them the traditional ‘I first came to Chicago’ speech,’ he thought. “Just in and out... I need a bed, Ben.”  
  
Fraser leaned forward and kissed his lover’s lips. “In and out it is, Ray.”

In the ten minutes it took Fraser to register with the desk clerk and claim a room, Ray had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. He startled when the door opened and Fraser got in and started the engine.

He looked at Ben, sheepishly. “Guess you’re not the only one who’s tired.”

“We are all the way in the back, room 136. The desk clerk suggested driving and parking back there. There’s an entrance right by our room.”

Ray let out a yawn. “Yes, drive back there, please. That’s one of the best ideas I’ve heard all day. I’m too tired to walk ten feet.”

Fraser drove around to the back of the Inn and Ray helped with the bags as he opened the door to their room. Ray clicked on the light and took in the room’s contents. A small round table with two padded chairs, television, chest of drawers… ‘Does anyone even use those?’, coffee pot _with_ coffee...’There is a God,’ and two standard double beds. Ray smirked inwardly. ‘Vecchio should have stuck around. He’d have his own bed this time.’

He dropped their bags onto the chest of drawers and looked at Fraser. He looked just as tired as Ray felt.

“Ben…” Ray began but stopped when Fraser sank onto the bed. “Come on.” He walked over to the bed and pulled Fraser to his feet. “Let’s go take a shower. We’ll warm up and get the dampness from the rain out of our bones.”

Fraser shivered. “I am feeling quite dingy from being wet.”

“Wet? Ben you were soaked. Which reminds me, we should find a place to at least dry our clothes.” Ray could see the wheels turning behind Fraser’s eyes. “But first things first…”

Ray pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it haphazardly toward his bag. He un-tucked Ben’s shirt from his jeans and slowly un-fastened each button, never breaking eye contact with Ben. He slid the soft flannel past Ben’s shoulders.

“Ray…” Ben breathed out. “I’m…”

Ray silenced him with a finger pressed to his lips. “Just a shower Ben, nothing else.”

Ben nodded as Ray removed his shirt. He closed his eyes as Ray un-fastened his pants. ‘This isn’t about sex,’ Ray reminded himself. ‘This is about taking care of my partner.’ Ray got them both out of their jeans and into the bathroom. He turned the water a half turn past ‘hot’ and stepped in under the powerful stream. He faced the shower nozzle and placed his hands on the tiled wall, dropping his head forward. The water hit the back of his neck and he let out a long sigh. His unruly spikes were flattened as the water soaked his hair.

Fraser stepped in behind him and let out the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. He leaned his head forward and kissed the back of Ray’s wet neck. The heat from the water was beginning to release the tension that had been settling in his shoulders all day. With strong sure hands, he began to massage Ray’s shoulders.

“Mmmm… Ben,” Ray murmured as the water beat down on the two men. Fraser kneaded the knotted muscles in Ray’s back caused from too many hours spent traveling in a car. Ray let out another low moan as Fraser’s hands worked their way down his tired back. Beads of water dripped off the tip of Ray’s nose. “That’s amazing... God, you’re amazing, Ben. Just what I needed.”

 Strong arms circled around his chest and a warm solid body pressed up against him.

“Hmmm, it’s what I needed to,” Fraser breathed into his lover’s ear. He placed a kiss to Ray’s shoulder as the water danced off his smooth skin.

Ray removed a hand from the wall and reached for the bar of new soap. He worked it into a lather and then turned in Ben’s embrace. He started with his shoulders and moved down Ben’s body until he had been cleansed. Ben repeated the gesture.

‘This isn’t about sex,’ Ben’s thought a mirror image to Ray’s. ‘This is taking care of your partner.’ He leaned forward and kissed Ray’s lips. “Thank you,” he whispered into Ray’s mouth. He could feel Ray’s soft lips turn into a smile.

“Any time…” Ray replied quietly as he shut off the water and reached for a towel. He toweled Ben off and then himself.

Both men pulled on fresh boxers. Ray looked at the bed and caught Fraser staring at it as well.

“You know, just because it’s…” Ray glanced at his watch for the time. “Not quite late enough to go to bed… we can take a nap, rest up a bit.”

Ben snickered. “You make it sound like we are toddlers.”

Ray pulled the covers back and crawled into the inviting bed. “I’m no toddler, Ben… I _know_ when I need a nap. And I _need_ one and I would enjoy it a whole lot better if you would crawl in with me instead of standing there staring like you’re about to commit the biggest crime ever.” Ray pulled the blankets up around his neck and settled into the pillows. Closing his eyes he let out a sigh. “Ahhh… this bed is great, Ben.” He opened his eyes a fraction and stared hard at Ben. “Come on. It’s a fucking nap… get over yourself and get in here with me.”

Fraser did get over himself and slid underneath the covers opposite Ray. He closed his eyes and smiled contently. “This feels like heaven, Ray.”

Ray shifted closer and slid an arm around Ben’s waist. He nuzzled his face into Ben’s neck and took a deep breath. “You smell good.”

“I have you to thank for that.” Ben pressed a kiss to the top of Ray’s damp spikes. “I love you, Ray.”

Ray chuckled and couldn’t resist. “And I you, Ben.”

The two fell silent and Ray was almost sure Ben was almost asleep. His hand on Ben’s chest had fallen into a steady rise and fall pattern.

“Want to talk about it?” Ray asked cautiously. His hand stopped moving on Fraser’s chest. Ben was still awake. Ray made small circular motions with his fingers on Ben’s chest. The room was silent except for the hum of the fan. Ray could hear Fraser’s heart beginning to pound in his chest.

“I was wrong.” Fraser turned onto his side and faced Ray. His steel blue eyes were glistening. “I should have told you about the doctor, sooner.”

“You’re right. You should have.” Ray couldn’t hide the hurt from his voice. “I’m your partner, Ben. I should have been there with you. That’s not buddies to leave me out of the loop.”

Fraser closed his eyes against Ray’s words. Although not harsh, they still stung.

Ray’s tender touch swiped away the tear that escaped. When Ben opened his eyes, there were compassionate eyes staring back at him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was trying to convince myself it wasn’t really pain, merely phantom symptoms.” Ben’s body went rigid when Ray’s hand ghosted over his scar. “I knew you would make me see a doctor if you knew my back was hurting.”

“I would have too…”

“I wasn’t ready to face what it could mean. As long as I could stand the pain, I wouldn’t have to think about what had transpired in the past. What horrible mistakes I had made concerning Victoria.”

“Just brush it under the rug and it will all be forgotten, huh, Ben.”

Ben let out a sad laugh. “Yes. A lot of good that has done me.”

“What happened to make you see a doctor?” Ray thought about it for a moment. He pushed a finger into Ben’s chest. “And _when_ did you see a doctor? We’re always together.”

“When I went north for that conference a few months ago. I was leaving the conference center to go back to my room and a valet ran into me with a rack full of luggage.”

“Ben…”

“I was fine at first, or so I thought. I just went back to my room and rested. I called you before I went to sleep. The next morning, I could barely move. I muddled through my presentation and excused myself for the rest of the day. I called my doctor in Chicago and he recommended someone in the area. I was able to get in the following day.”

“You should have told me.” Ben could hear the hurt in Ray’s voice. “I would have come up there.”

“I know and I’m sorry. But I didn’t want to worry you if it was going to turn into nothing. When all the testing was done and the results were back, the doctor recommended surgery to remove the bullet. When the cart hit me, the bullet shifted. I kept telling myself over the following weeks, I could deal with the pain. And I did...”

“And then the diner.”

“Yes, and then the diner. Victoria invaded my thoughts all over again.”

“And Vecchio?”

“I told myself long ago I had forgiven him. What I failed to realize was I hadn’t forgiven myself for what I had put him through. I was wrong, Ray.”

“Ben, when you were up in the frozen north for that conference and I kept telling you that this beautiful woman wouldn’t leave me alone. You trusted me enough and knew I would never do anything. Why couldn’t you trust me with the doctor news?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to worry you. My father was right…”

“About what?” Ray sighed, frustration showing on his face.

“I’m stubborn and selfish.”

Ray’s heart sank into his stomach. “That’s not true. Vecchio and I haven’t been all that fair to you. We _both_ treat you like you’re invincible. I guess that’s a lot to live up to when you’re reminded of it every day.”

Ben was silent.

“How about we agree we were all wrong, and move forward?”

“Fair enough, Ray.”

Ray ran a finger over Ben’s lips. “And you promise to never hide anything from me. Partners share, Ben.”

Ben smiled and leaned forward to capture Ray’s lips with his own. “Understood, Ray. Forgive me?”

“Of course, I do. That’s something else partners do as well.” Ray gave Ben a loving kiss. “Tell me your Chicago story, Ben.”

“You see, there was this blonde guy… with experimental hair.” Ben ran his fingers through Ray’s damp spikes. “Who loves me unconditionally.” He placed a kiss on Ray’s forehead and then his soft lips. “Even when I’m being stubborn and bullheaded.”

Ray sighed. “ _So_ stubborn…”

Ben continued. “Who I gave up a lot to be with, because I loved him and I would give it all up again, if need be... just to be with him.”

“Sounds like a lucky guy.” Ray whispered.

“Oh, I was the lucky one.” Ben admitted.

“So, what’s in it for the blond guy?”

“A lot of baggage… and maybe a few nights of really great sex.”

“Would tonight be one of those nights? Because I do recall a certain Mountie teasing me earlier.” Ray ran his finger down Ben’s jaw line.

“Well, we will just have to see how the evening unfolds.” Ben pulled his lover close.

Ray settled into Ben’s embrace. “Does this Chicago story have a happy ending?”

“We’re working on it.”

“Greatness.”

Ray snuggled closer and let the steady beat of Ben’s heart and the low hum of the fan lull him to sleep.

 

Ray Vecchio waited semi- patiently for his wife to conclude her meeting with Welsh and the detectives so they could go home. ‘You need to calm yourself down, Vecchio,’ he scolded himself. Patience was never one of his strong suits. Ray’s thought drifted back to his first few months working with the Mountie. ‘God he was the most stubborn man on the planet.’

He rubbed his temples… but Benny was still his friend. Deep down he still had a special place in his heart for the man. Even after all the shouting and accusations and the ‘fuck off’ and the punch heard over the thunderclap and the ‘go home’, Benny was his friend. Regardless of the different paths they have taken in the last few years, Ray knew in his heart Benny loved him. He was the brother Ben never had, the family he so desperately needed, the friend he could always count on.

Ray rubbed his jaw. He was wrong. He didn’t have Fraser’s back when he needed him the most. _He_ was the one being stubborn and selfish, not Benny. Ray scolded himself again. He’s the one that didn’t want to drudge up the past because he hadn’t forgiven himself either. He had forgiven himself for shooting Fraser, but he hadn’t forgiven himself for the anger he felt towards Fraser when he realized he was leaving. Yes, his bullet stopped him and saved him a major financial loss, but that loss would have been nothing compared to the loss he felt over Benny choosing Victoria over their friendship.

‘Maybe Stella’s right,’ he thought to himself. ‘Maybe it _is_ as easy as I’m sorry.’ Neither one had ever _actually_ said it to the other. They just brushed it under the rug and moved on.

He glanced at the file he had discarded on Kowalski’s desk in front of him. He wondered if Kowalski remembered he needed to be home in two days. ‘Maybe I could call and remind him, and then check on Benny without being obvious about it.’ Ray mentally slapped himself. He shouldn’t have to have an excuse to check on his friend. ‘So, we had a fight. Friends fight.’

Something about the file wasn’t sitting well with Ray. He opened it again and reread the contents more carefully. He must have missed a page when he read it earlier because it dawned on him that the guy in the file was the Incredible Hulk guy that Kowalski had said had choked Fraser at the diner. ‘He better get his ass back home.’ Vecchio studied the man’s mug shot. Why did he look so familiar? His name rang no bells, but his picture was setting off alarms in his head. He just couldn’t register them.

Stella emerged from Welsh’s office, her files tucked neatly under her arm. “You’re not pretending to be my ex are you?” She nodded towards Kowalski’s nameplate on his desk. “Because I’m not taking him home with me tonight.”

Vecchio pushed the chair back and stood up. “Like I told Welsh, I can’t pull of the experimental hair.” Ray walked around the desk and gave his wife a kiss. “You ready to go home?”

“More than ready. I bet you are too.” She wrapped an arm around his waist and led him away from the bullpen. “If I recall, you said you were going to keep me up all night when you got home.”

“Ah, that I did.” _‘Ah’_. Ray stopped in his tracks. ‘Why did Benny have to pop into my head now?’

“Is something wrong, Ray?” Stella asked concerned. She ran her free hand down his arm.

“No, just something Benny said to me.” Ray glanced back at the file on Kowalski’s desk. “There’s something about that file that is bothering me, I just can’t figure out what it is.”

“Well,” Stella began... the voice of reason in so many conversations. “You can always call Ray up and ask him about it.” She shrugged as she continued to the door and held it open for him. “And then if you happen to ask about Ben…”

“I’m still mad at him.” Ray met his wife at the door. “But you’re right. I should talk to him.”

“You’re a good man Ray. And a good friend.” Stella pulled Ray’s head down to kiss him. “Just don’t take _all_ the blame. I hold Ben responsible as well.”

“We’re both at fault, Stell. I admit that and for once, Kowalski didn’t do anything.” Vecchio snorted a laugh. “Except maybe own a piece of shit car that broke down during a torrential downpour.”

Stella laughed and playfully slapped his arm. “We can’t all be perfect.”

“Far from it, baby.”

“Well, I’ll keep you anyway. Wouldn’t want to have to notify your next of kin and tell them…”

Vecchio cut his wife off mid- sentence. A red flag just went off in his head. “Wait… _what did you say?_ ”

“I wouldn’t want to notify your next of kin…” Stella repeated herself slowly.

“That’s it!” Ray exclaimed. He turned and opened the bullpen doors leaving Stella alone in the hallway.

She followed him in, confusion apparent on her face. “What’s _it?_ What are you talking about?”

“I knew this guy looked familiar.” Ray help up the file on the Incredible Hulk.

“Who is he? I know he’s the guy at the diner that choked Ben, but how do you know him?” Stella looked at the file again.

“Oh God… she’s been playing him all these years. I thought Benny was chasing a ghost. The bitch has been chasing him.” Vecchio started pacing around Kowalski’s desk, getting more anxious by the moment.

“Ray… stop for a minute and catch me up to speed.” Stella grabbed his elbow on his next pass and pulled him to a stop.

Ray held up the picture again. “This guy was an orderly when Benny was taken into surgery. I remember following the gurney and they were asking all these questions and this guy I remember him asking me about Benny’s next of kin.” Ray looked around the mostly empty bullpen. “We need Frannie to get us some info on him. “Benny told me in the hospital that he still saw Victoria. I thought he was just high from all those pain meds. What if he did see her? What if she’s been watching him all along?” He began his pacing again.

Stella placed a hand on Ray’s arm. “Ray. Stop and breathe for a minute.”

“I’m really sorry, baby, but I have to go back and find those two. I will make it up to you a hundred times over when I get back.” Ray placed both hands on his wife’s shoulders and then pulled her into a warm embrace.

“You go, make things right with Ben. I will get with Francesca and see what kind of information we can come up and then call you.” She gave him a hug in return.

“You’re okay by yourself another day? I really don’t want to leave you but I think I need to go.” Ray was torn. He wanted to stay with his wife but he knew he had to go back to Fraser and Kowalski. He needed back in on the chase... it was no longer a wild one.

“Ray, I will be fine. I’ll just have your sister come over and hang out with Jill and I. “ She gave him an affectionate pat to the chest. “You know… if Ben weren’t with Ray. I think him and Jill would have hit it off really well. But oh well, too late for her… Ben’s got a good guy in Ray.”

“You’ll just have to play matchmaker with someone else.” Ray leaned forward and gave Stella a lingering kiss. “Thank you. You are an amazing woman.”

“Please be careful driving. I know you’re anxious to get there and all and I know you’re an excellent driver. Please, for me…”

“Anything for you. I will call you when I get there.” Ray hugged his wife and kissed her again before bolting out the door to the ugly mustard yellow Cutlass Sierra. He didn’t care; he had a friend to save.

 

Ray Kowalski woke up and glanced at his lover. Ben was still out, sound asleep. He turned and glanced out the windows and noticed the sun was beginning to set. He looked at his watch and realized he had slept for two hours. ‘Naps are _not_ overrated.’ He felt much better and more relaxed than he did when he and Fraser crawled into bed together.

He slid the blankets down and reached for the phone. He punched the number zero on the phone to call the front desk. He needed to get their clothes cleaned so they didn’t get all funky smelling on them from being wet. The clerk told him there was a laundry facility down past the pool at the end of their hall. He climbed out of bed, dressed and left a note for Ben telling him where he was. He grabbed the clothes out of their bag, the room key and his cell and made his way to the laundry room.

Ray had everything in the wash and had settled into the padded recliner with a magazine when his phone rang.

“Kowalski…” he answered. The other end was silent. “Hello?”

“It’s Vecchio.”

Ray let out a sigh. ‘At least he made it home and didn’t wrap himself around a tree.’ “You make it home okay?”

“Yeah, just peachy. In the prettiest ride you have ever seen, too. Wait till you see it.” Vecchio added sarcastically. He softened his tone. “Listen. I was a jerk and I was wrong…”

“Ray…” Kowalski began but was cut off.

“No… let me finish. Benny was a jerk and he was wrong too. But, that’s no excuse for either of us to throw our friendship down the toilet. How is he?”

“He said ‘fuck’. How the hell do you think he is? He’s torn up man.” Ray was trying not to get angry. Ben’s mood had improved since this morning’s altercation. He still didn’t know what Ray had said to Ben.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did and I’m sorry.” Vecchio apologized through the phone line.

“Hey, I’m not the one that punched you. You’re apologizing to the wrong guy.”

“Well, I’m not ready to talk to him yet. I’m still pissed off, but I imagine by the time I get there, I will be more worried than pissed.”

“Get where?” Ray questioned as he tossed the magazine onto the end table.

“Cornfield… I’m coming back. Victoria’s been chasing him for years.”

“How do you know this?” Ray asked curiously.

“That hearing you have to testify at in two days. By the way, Welsh said to get your ass back here. The one with the guy from the diner…”

“Hey, what are you doing going through my files?”

“Let’s not lose site of the bigger picture here, Kowalski. The guy that choked Benny was the orderly that helped wheel him into surgery when I shot him. Victoria had to have gotten him involved somehow. Maybe she has seen the two of you together and is jealous and thought this guy could take him out, make him suffer. Stella’s looking into some stuff back home and is going to call me. I should be there in like three hours tops. Two and a half if I didn’t promise Stella I would be careful.”

“Hey, there’s something you need to know before you get here. May help you understand Ben’s mood.”

“Yeah what’s that?” Vecchio asked as he pulled out onto the highway.

“He’s gotta have surgery. His back’s been bothering him.”

“Why didn’t he say anything?”

“He’s stubborn. Plain and simple. He didn’t tell me until this morning when you were walking away in the pouring rain. He wants to find Victoria before he isn’t able to walk.”

“Fuck… it’s that serious? Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Apparently it is serious. And hey, I live with the guy and I didn’t even know. How do you think that makes me feel? Anyway, I don’t know much more. We’ll get into that when we get home. But that’s why he’s pushing so hard. Ever since the diner, he keeps having nightmares about her. I need to help him find that closure.”

“I need my own closure as well. Benny’s not the only one that has mistakes to let go of.”

“You want me to tell Ben or you want to surprise him?”

“Better tell him. I don’t need him punching me again.”

Ray laughed into the phone. “Hurts like a mother… doesn’t it?”

“He’s punched you before?”

“Just once, but I punched him first. Swore I would never do it again. Hurts too damn much. Listen, be careful okay. I’ll put on some coffee. And hey, Vecchio…”

“Yeah?”

“We got two beds in the room this time. Room 136… around back.”

 

Ray drove like the wind. He pulled into the parking lot and around to the back of the Inn. He parked the car next to Ray’s GTO.

‘It’s now or never,’ he told himself. He stood in front of Benny’s door with his knuckles raised. Even after all his time undercover as a mob boss, facing his best friend was the hardest thing Ray Vecchio had ever done in his life. He took one last calming breath and knocked on the door.   
  
Fraser heard the knock and went still. He and Ray had been playing poker for air since Ray had returned from cleaning their clothes. “He’s here already?” he asked as he laid his cards, shakily, to the table.

“I _did_ tell you he was on his way.” Ray popped a kiss on Fraser’s head, before gathering up the cards and putting them in a pile. “I take it you want me to get the door?” He squeezed Ben’s shoulder, to show he understood.

“You mind?” Fraser looked up at Ray, with an expression that was almost childlike in its vulnerability.

‘Awh, Ben. Jeez, I love you.’ Ray gave his lover space to breathe and try to calm his nerves. Ben didn’t look sure yet if he was ready to meet his friend.

Kowalski made it to the door. ‘Come on, he’ll be fine- he’s a grown man...’ He turned to make sure Ben was ready.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Fraser breathed in and out quickly.

“You’ll be fine. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. The quicker, the less painful.” He gave Ben a wide smile. “It’s all gonna work out. I promise.” He turned to the door and pulled it open as Vecchio was about to knock again.

‘Shit,’ Vecchio thought, ‘What the hell am I gonna say? Hey guys! I don’t even want to know what you’ve been doing on my bed...’ Nah. That’ll just start another fight. I’ll just say the first thing I think of. He opened his mouth.

“Uhm..” ‘Yeah... that’s it.’

Vecchio stepped into the room and all fell silent. He turned to Ray. “If we promise not to kill each other, can you give us a few minutes alone?”

Ray looked to Ben, who nodded his head ‘yes’. “Okay, I’ll just head down to the front desk and find out about pizza places in the area. Be back in a bit.”

Vecchio closed the door behind Kowalski and faced Fraser. He was still seated at the table fidgeting with the playing cards, avoiding his friend’s eyes.

“Last time I apologized to someone who laid me out flat...” He cleared his throat, and started again. “It was my Pa, and I didn’t mean a word of it. I just meant, _don’t hit me anymore_.” He winced at the look of pain on Ben’s face, but ploughed on. “This time ... yeah. _I mean it_ , Benny. I’m sorry, and I know it won’t happen again.” Ray rubbed his jaw and worked it sideways. “You pack a powerful punch, Benny.”

“I’m sorry, Ray.” Fraser hid his anxiety by straightening up the pile of cards. “Why did you come back?” Finally, he couldn’t hide anymore and looked up at Ray for the first time. Fraser met his friend’s eyes with a hopeful, timid expression.

Vecchio smiled at his friend. “I realized after a six hour drive home and another hour talking to my wife, that you aren’t the only one to blame in all of this mess.”

“I hit you.” Ben broke eye contact and looked at the floor. “And... You’re not the one that was running away with her. I was.”

“I’ve done worse than hit people, Benny.” Vecchio whispered. ‘Oh Jeez... nobody wants to hear that.’ He slumped, suddenly realizing that he was still standing, looming over Ben- that he was the one looking like the big threatening man, and Benny looked like a frightened little boy playing with his pack of cards. He pulled out a chair, sat opposite his friend, and took his hand. “But you’re right, Benny. Why’d you have to try and run off with her?” Vecchio asked squeezing Fraser’s fingers. They were cold, and Vecchio rubbed them, to get some heat into them. “I loved you, Benny… you were my friend, and I was your family. You didn’t need her.”  
  
“You couldn’t love me the way I needed to be loved…” Ben looked up at Ray again. “I was lonely and desperate for affection. You couldn’t give me that. She was familiar.”

“Frannie was familiar… that lady on the second floor of your apartment building was familiar. Why _her?”_

“Like I told Ray, I felt...” Fraser stopped, scrubbed his face, as though wiping non- existent tears “... my life for hers. It was... penance, I suppose, or... I don’t know. It would make up for the life she lost in prison. I wasn’t thinking clearly and...” He sighed, and it sounded like it was wrenched right out of his chest. “ I was wrong. I let that lie, that idea that I could somehow fix her, snowball into what I believed to be a truth. I’m so sorry, Ray. I wish I could take it all back, everything.”

“What’s done is done, Benny.” The two men were facing each other as equals again. Between Vecchio’s fingers, Benny’s hands had warmed.

“I’d give you the bullet back if I could.”

“Yeah?” Vecchio’s face twisted. “Well, I’d take it.” He let go of Benny’s hands, and covered his face. “I’d have sooner shot myself than you. It would have hurt a lot less.”

Ben took Ray’s trembling hands into his own. Ray tried to turn away, but Benny’s gentle expression followed him. “I know that,” he said when his friend finally met his gaze. “I know that, Ray, and I’m sorry.”

“Benny,” Ray’s voice was very small. “Why didn’t you say anything about the surgery?”

Fraser’s head shot up.

“Ray told me.” Vecchio shrugged. “You have people that care about you, Benny.” ‘Shit, I’m going aggressive again... “You can’t continue keeping important stuff like that from them. I’m not talking about just me. Kowalski cares about you. You should have at least told him.”

“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that. I didn’t want to worry him if there was no need.”

“Benny, that’s what partners are for, to share your worries.” Vecchio stood up from his seat and began pacing. “You are the king of bottling things up.”

“My back’s been bothering me off and on for months, nothing I couldn’t handle.” Fraser’s voice drifted off. “Now the pain just won’t go away.” Fraser admitted.

“I have the worst aim in the world.” Vecchio groaned. He sat back down, placing his head in his hands.

“I thought that for a long time.” Ben admitted sheepishly. “But then I realized, you have impeccable aim. I wouldn’t be here otherwise. I’m very sorry, for everything I’ve put you through.”

“I’m sorry, too. For everything we put each other through.”

Ben pulled his friend into a warm embrace and felt Ray’s tears on his neck. He closed his eyes and let his own flow.

Ray Kowalski knocked on the door before entering. He held a large pizza box in his hands along with plates and napkins. “I’ve died and gone to pizza heaven. The pizza in this town is amazing. I see you two didn’t kill each other and no one is bleeding. So, we all good?”

Vecchio patted Ben on the back of the head. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Alright then, let’s dig into this delicious smelling pie.” Ray flipped open the top of the box.

“Looks like someone already dug in.” Ben gave Ray a look.

“What?” Ray grinned, and took another cheeky bite. Ben was smiling, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He and Vecchio had obviously fixed the problem- whatever it was. “I was hungry and I wasn’t about to break in and bother you two, so I ate a piece. Get over it. Besides, the floor in the hallway is hard… so I’m glad you two are done talking.”

Vecchio spun “I’m an idiot. I almost forgot why I came.” He handed the file to Kowalski.

“This is the guy, huh? From the hospital?”

“Yeah… I knew he looked familiar. Then Stella said something about next of kin and it hit me who he was. He asked me about Benny’s next of kin.”

Ray handed the file to Ben. “I don’t recognize him.”

“Well you probably wouldn’t. You were pretty out of it. Trust me, this guy was there.” Vecchio sat down next to Ben again. “You remember telling me that you kept seeing Victoria at the hospital? I waved it off as you were high on pain meds. I think she was there. She was checking up on you.”

“She would have been caught.”

“Benny, she’s the queen of disguises. You didn’t know up from down, so she didn’t have to worry about you telling anyone you saw her. Who would believe you? I didn’t even believe you, and I wanted to kill the bitch.”

“So, what? She’s hanging out at the hospital, notices this guy has access to Ben. Then what? Seduces him into giving her information. And now, all these years later. She’s still hanging on to him?”

“If she’s hanging around and she has seen the two of you together, maybe she convinced him that Ben hurt her in some way. Look how she manipulated Greta. And she’s beautiful, it wouldn’t have been hard. I’m waiting to hear from Stella to see what the guys been up to the last few years. Maybe he was fired from the hospital and he needed money. I don’t know. I just know that it’s him. You don’t forget someone asking about your partner’s next of kin very easily.”

“It wasn’t a random robbery then?” Fraser finally spoke up.

“I thought you were chasing ghosts, Benny. I was wrong. She’s been chasing you.”  
  
All three men jumped when Vecchio’s phone rang.

“Vecchio.” He said into the phone.

“You were supposed to call me when you got there. Did you make it okay? I was worried so I called.” Stella’s voice came through loud and clear and full of concern.

“Yeah, Stella I made it okay. I’m sorry, Benny and I were talking and I haven’t gotten that far yet.”  
“Is everything okay now?” She asked cautiously.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good. Listen, Francesca and I have been busy digging up information on this guy.”

“Yeah, go on. What did you find out?” Leave it to Frannie to get all the info they needed and then some.

“Well, he was fired from the hospital when he failed a random drug test. Apparently, he was heavy into steroids. He’s told the defense attorneys it was his friend’s idea. He wasn’t supposed to rob the place, just take off with Fraser. You can thank Ray and the other cop for stopping that.”

“Does he know where Victoria is?” Vecchio asked, hopeful.

“He said she pops in and out. Never had a number for her. She would just show up. She mentioned Indiana to him, but told him her house had burned down and she had to move. Never said where though.”

“Thanks Stella.”

“No problem. Listen, Ray. I want you to smack Ben, and then give him a hug from me. Let him know we’re here for him.”

Vecchio looked at Ben and rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to smack him, but I’ll give him a hug for you.”

“Ok, I’m going to go. Frannie just left and Jill is coming over. Actually, I think she just showed up. Hold on... I need to put Dief away. He must not like her cat.”

“Stella, just give me a call later.”

“Wait, I will send you a picture of us. You can at least meet her this way.”

“Alright, send it through. He looked at Kowalski and smirked. “This could take a while. She can never figure the thing out.”

Vecchio laid his phone down and picked up a plate and piled it with pizza. “Oh wow, this is good.”

He heard his phone ding with a new message. Before he could grab it, Kowalski picked the phone up to look at it.

“You and your fancy phone... I’m telling you, these camera things are never going to catch on.”

“You’re just jealous you don’t have one.”

“Hey, is this Stella’s friend Jill?”

“Yeah, I can’t ever remember her name. I think it’s after a president or something.”

Ray studied the picture. “Ben, that looks like the lady that I told you about. You know, the one when you were up in the frozen north at that conference. She wouldn’t leave me alone. The picture isn’t too clear, but I’m sure it’s her.”

“Let me see.” Vecchio’s hand flew out for his phone. He had a sudden terrible feeling.

“Kennedy...” Ray looked at Vecchio’s pale face. ‘What’s scared him?’ “I think she said her name was Jill Kennedy.”

Fraser’s head shot up. He locked eyes with Vecchio.

“Oh my God, Benny...” Vecchio’s voice cracked. “It’s Victoria.”

  
The three men stared at the pixilated image. “ _And she’s got Frannie and Stella..._ ”


	6. Two Roads Divereged in a Wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, so many thanks to my wonderful friend and beta, butterflyghost. You enrich my life every day.  
> I hope everyone is enjoying this story. Feedback is always welcome... Enjoy!

Stella was letting the door fall shut on her sister-in law, when she realized it was raining.

  
“Frannie, wait up.” She smiled. “My trial got postponed until next week and Ray’s gone until tomorrow. I could use the company if you want to stay.” Stella shrugged, not wanting to sound too eager, but still hoping Frannie might stay and talk. “My friend Jill’s coming over, but I would love it if you stayed. Why don’t we have a girls’ night?”

  
“Well...” Frannie looked out the window and noticed the rain. “That sounds like fun.” She smiled. “You know, Renfield’s in Toronto for a conference and Ma has the baby. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I stayed a while. God, you know how long it has been since I’ve had a girls’ night?” She rolled her eyes. “Staying up talking all night about our men.” Francesca leaned forward conspiratorially. “Have you told Ray about the baby yet?”

  
Stella placed a hand protectively over her abdomen and smiled. “No, not yet. I’m nervous. We’ve never really discussed kids before.” She pulled Frannie to the couch and sat down. “You know I never wanted kids with my other Ray. Not that I didn’t like them…”

  
“I understand.” Frannie patted her sister-in-law’s hand, reassuringly.

  
Stella smiled. There weren’t many people, besides her Ray, that she could open up to, not the way she could open up to Frannie. Which was odd, really, because Frannie had always been such a hot head. Motherhood had changed her, and she seemed to have a wise head on her now.

  
“And it’s not that I didn’t want one with _him_. You know, my first Ray.” Stella chuckled at the confusion of the names. “I just wanted my career more. I don’t ever regret that either. Ray would have made a great father, but at the time, I wouldn’t have been a good mother and I knew that about myself. I just could never get him to understand it.”

  
“You would have been raising two kids, Stella. Ray still acts like a big kid.”

  
Stella had a wistful expression. “I hardly knew my own father,” she admitted. “He was always so... old. A big kid is a nice Dad sometimes. But not... not all the time. And I wouldn’t have been raising either Ray or a kid. I was too busy with my new career. Anyway,” she admitted. “I’m just glad Ray and I didn’t have to mess up a kid’s life.”

  
“Enough about Kowalski, Stella.” Frannie shuffled up the couch, and patted her friend’s belly. “How are you going to tell my brother? I mean, you’re happy right? About the baby?”

  
“Yes… I’m just, well… I’m nervous. I’m almost forty Frannie.” She looked alarmed. “Isn't there a point where it’s not safe for women to have babies? And what if Ray isn’t too keen on the idea? I mean, he’s started this new job with the Feds. I don’t necessarily worry about his safety like I would if he were still a cop, but… what if he doesn’t want a baby? What if he’s not stable enough for a baby? He still has moments where he just freaks out. The counseling has helped, but I think he should go more often. But still, what if he’s not ready for fatherhood?”

  
“Are you kidding?” Frannie guffawed. “Ray will love the idea. He’s great with Lucy. Trust me on this… I _know_ my brother. I see the way he looks at Lucy and then looks at you. It’s adorable. He will make a great father.”

  
“I hope you’re right. But - how weird is this going to be for Ray? I mean, my other Ray? We’ve moved on, but I know it’s going to hurt him.”

  
“I’m pretty sure he will be grown up about it. He’s got Ben now. He’s at a different stage in his life as well. I think he will be ok.”

  
Stella sighed and shifted her weight to get comfortable. Already the baby was making her uncomfortable in places she hadn’t been aware of before. “We’re friends now,” she told Frannie, “The four of us I mean, and I worry the baby will be too much for Ray… my other Ray… Ben’s Ray.” She paused, frustrated. “There’s too many Ray’s in this equation.”

  
“If it’s a girl, just don’t call her Rachel.”

  
Stella laughed at that, and Frannie smiled. Mission accomplished. “Relax Stella,” she said, gently. “He _will_ adjust and the four of you will be fine.” She patted Stella’s belly. “Five of you now. Hey, you never know. Maybe Ray and Ben will look into adoption in the future. Ben would make a great father as well.”

  
“Frannie,” Stella steered the conversation away from babies to something else that was worrying her. “Do you know anything about what happened between Ben and Ray? My Ray? You know, when Ben was shot?”

  
“Oh...” Frannie’s voice trailed off.  “Very little. We’d just gone to Florida for vacation and when we got home, Ben was in the hospital and Ray had been suspended while they investigated. Ray was... well, he was in a very bad way. I don’t think Ben realized even, he was so out of it. But Ray was always at Ben’s side at the hospital, rarely left him. When he had to start going back to work, he would go after his shift ended and stay there until they kicked him out.”

  
“Did he say anything about this Victoria?”

  
“Not in so many words. He just told us that Ben had been blindsided and she took advantage of his loneliness.”

  
Stella sighed. She didn’t feel much wiser. Frannie knew as little as she did. “The way they are around each other I assumed it was all water under the bridge.”

  
“Well, they did, didn’t they?” Frannie looked puzzled. “Ray went North with him, to help rebuild his father’s cabin. It was Ray’s idea, but I think he was nervous about going. When they came home, they seemed okay and life was back to normal.”

  
“I think they just brushed everything aside. Ray actually came home today. He and Ben had a fight. He rented a car and left them behind. Said he and Ben weren’t friends anymore, something about Ben’s friend never came back from the desert, meaning him. Then he remembered something about the guy that choked Ben at that diner. Said he was someone that worked at the hospital when Ben was... well, when … you know, when Ray shot him. He flipped out and went flying back to Indiana.”

  
Frannie stared. “Men… why do they have to bottle things up until they explode? They could learn a few things from us gals… get it out in the open, don’t let it fester…”

  
“And no one gets punched in the face.” Stella added as she picked up a framed photo of herself and her husband and their two friends.

  
“Ben punched him!” Frannie’s jaw dropped open, and Stella smiled to herself. That would mean so much to Ray, if he knew it. Once upon a time, Frannie’s first thought would have been that Ray had thrown the punch.

  
“I know, right,” Stella continued. “I mean, _Ben?_ Ray yes... I can see him punching my Ray, but not Ben. Which reminds me, he should be getting there soon. He said it should only take a few hours.”

  
“I’m curious... _what happened?”_ Francesca scooted closer. “I know Ray can run his mouth and all, but him and Ben fighting?”

  
“Ray said he had pushed Ben too far, said some things he shouldn’t have...”

  
“Figures... sometimes, when we were kids and we were fighting, he just wouldn’t know when to shut up. Although, it’s not like I _never_ gave him a reason to run his mouth in the first place. Stupid kid stuff, we fought all the time.”

  
“I’m sure there was truth to whatever he was saying, or it wouldn’t have made Ben so mad. He never did tell me what it was. I have a feeling it had something to do with Ray... Ben’s Ray. We need code names for them, Frannie.” Stella laughed at the confusion and then grew serious again. “What do you think happened with Victoria and Ben?”

  
“I don’t know. It was weird for me.” Frannie blushed and lowered her head. “I don’t think I ever told you, but I had the biggest school girl crush on Ben. It was difficult for me to imagine him loving another woman. I just wanted him to open his eyes and love me.”

  
Stella placed a comforting hand on Frannie’s arm. “I’m sorry, I never knew that. I don’t know why he wouldn’t have been attracted to you Frannie. You are beautiful.”

  
“I think I was too in his face and obvious and I think it scared him off right away.” Frannie waved her hands in the air. “Crazy Italian girl falls head over heels for hunky Canadian Mountie. But it all turned out ok... I love Renfield and Ben loves Ray.” Frannie thought back in time. “When Ray told me what happened when we got home from our vacation. I couldn’t believe it. It hurt to find out what kind of woman he fell for, when I knew that I could have made him happy. And I wasn’t crazy psycho.” Frannie looked at her hands still up in the air. “Ok, at least not psycho.”

 

“Ray must have been so full of guilt.”

 

“Can you imagine? Shooting your best friend in the back?”

  
“No, I can’t. Ray thought she had a gun and was going to shoot Ben, so it was justifiable.” Stella defended her husband’s actions, years ago. “Ben was just quicker...”

  
“Quicker?” Frannie asked confused.

  
Stella backpedaled quickly. Francesca wasn’t aware that Ben was going with Victoria and Stella wasn’t going to be the one to tell her. They were close, but it wasn’t her place. “Yeah, you know how Ray always calls Ben ‘Superman’? Well, Ben just reached Victoria before Ray’s bullet... faster than a speeding bullet.”

  
“What are the odds?” Frannie shook her head trying to dislodge the memory of Ray shooting their friend. “Okay, on to more cheerful stuff, when’s Jill coming over? I’ve been dying to meet her.”

  
“She should be here soon.” Stella checked her watch. “Last time she came over, Diefenbaker went crazy. I thought he was going to eat her.”

 

Dief looked up from the foot of the couch and whined. Stella reached down and rubbed behind his ears. “I know, it was probably her cat, Dief, but even so… let’s not be rude and eat the poor woman.” Stella looked back at her watch. “I’m going to call Ray. He should be there by now.”

 

Frannie looked at her own watch. “You know, while you do that. I’m going to run over to Ma’s real quick and check on the baby. Make sure she has enough stuff for all night. I’ll be back in like five minutes.”

 

“Ok, Frannie that sounds good. I’ll see you in a few. Hey… you haven’t said anything to anyone else about the baby have you?”

 

“No way… that’s your news to tell. Ma will be thrilled though when you finally tell her. Be back in a few.”

 

Stella pulled out her new phone and called her husband. She was worried that he hadn’t called her yet and relief washed over her when he answered.

 

“You were supposed to call me when you got there. Did you make it okay? I was worried, so I called.” Stella made sure her voice came through loud and clear across the phone line. She explained what she and Francesca had found out about the man in the file to her husband. When she’d finished filling him in on the details of the case, she asked, tentatively, about Ben. The relief in her husband’s voice told her more than the words did. She sighed with relief and turned when she heard a knock on the door.

 

“Ok, I’m going to go. Frannie just left and Jill is coming over. Actually I think she just showed up. Hold on…” Stella was trying to wrestle Diefenbaker into the laundry room. “I need to put Dief away. He must not like her cat.” Jill wasn’t even in the door and the wolf was going crazy. Stella got the door closed and leaned against it. ‘Last time I watch him,’ she thought.

 

“Stella, just give me a call later.” Vecchio said into her ear.

 

“Wait…” Stella opened the door for Jill while juggling the phone on her shoulder. She mouthed ‘Hello’ to her friend as she let her into her home. She opened the door wider and Frannie came running in from out of the rain as well. “I will send you a picture of us. You can at least meet her this way.”

 

Frannie closed the door behind her and shook the rain off her jacket and hung it up. Jill hesitantly handed her own jacket over to Francesca who hung it in the closet with her own. Stella was fidgeting with her phone trying to put it into camera mode.

 

“Here… hurry, I think I got it. Come here girls, quick, get in close. I want to send Ray a picture. He thinks I can’t figure this thing out. Ha! I’ll show him.” Stella let out a rejoicing holler when the camera on her phone clicked.

 

“Quick… hit send.” Frannie exclaimed leaning over, looking at the picture. “I mean before you lose it… not that you don’t know how to work it or save the picture or anything, but you know… just in case.”

 

Stella pressed the send button.

 

“Stella, why don’t you turn that thing off for the night?” Jill’s soft voice filled the room for the first time. “Let’s have a girl’s night.” She held up the bottle of wine she had brought with her and smiled broadly. “I’ve got the good stuff.”

 

  
  


Fraser handed his room key to the desk clerk and gave her the quickest ‘Thank you kindly’ he had ever said in his life. The Rays were waiting outside in Kowalski’s car with the engine running, ready to hightail it back to Chicago. All three men were exhausted from traveling all day and it was still a good two and a half hours back home.

 

Vecchio decided to leave the unsightly mustard yellow rental at the hotel. They would just have to retrieve it later. He was far too emotional to see straight, let alone drive.

 

“Come on, Benny. How long does it take to return a fucking key?” Vecchio was fidgeting in the back seat.

 

“Here he comes.” Ray watched as Ben hastily pushed through the lobby doors. He picked his pace up into a sprint until he reached the car.

 

“We’re good to go.” Ben told the men as Kowalski tore out of the parking lot and hit the highway.

 

“Did you try Stella again?” Ben asked trying to catch his breath. It wasn’t a long sprint, but his adrenaline was running high.

 

“Yeah, I keep getting her voice mail. She must have turned her phone off.” Vecchio pulled up the picture Stella sent him. She was standing between Frannie and Victoria. Stella’s smile was beautiful and easy. Frannie was beaming brightly as well. No doubt because she was surrounded by women she could actually carry on a conversation with instead of her eighteen month old daughter and Jill _…_ well, _Victoria_ … the ‘bitch’ Vecchio thought, she was all smug, standing behind his Stella.

 

“Have you tried Francesca’s phone?” Fraser turned and asked his friend in the back seat just as Kowalski ran a stop sign. He grabbed at the dash when Ray swerved to miss a car. “Ray, could you kindly try not to get us killed before we get there.”

 

Ray looked sideways, embarrassed. “Sorry, I _honestly_ didn’t see that one.”

 

“I don’t suppose you packed your glasses?” Fraser questioned with a touch of sarcasm. “Would you like me to drive?”

 

“ _No!”_ both Ray’s yelled at the same time. “I would like to get there today, not tomorrow…” Vecchio hollered from the rear seat, his head poking into the front. “No offense, Benny, but you drive too slow. I’ll take Kowalski running a stop sign over your driving right now.”

 

“None taken, Ray.” Fraser smiled warmly at his friend trying to ease some of the fast forming tension in the car.

 

“Ben…” Ray looked at him from the driver’s seat. “My glasses are in the glove box. I uh… I learned my lesson at the diner. Will you get them for me?”

 

Fraser opened the glove box and pulled out Ray’s glasses. With a knowing smile, he handed them to his partner.

 

Vecchio sank into the back seat exhausted. He scrubbed a hand over his face and exhaled slowly. “It’s been a long day, Benny. I’ve spent the whole fucking day in a car. And I’m worried about Stella and Frannie and what that bitch is going to do to them.”

 

Kowalski looked into the backseat at his friend. “I wouldn’t worry about the Stella. She took judo for years. All those late night law classes in college, she wanted to be able to defend herself if she needed to.” He chuckled in the dark of the car. “She could probably take me in a fair fight.”

 

Vecchio sat up in his seat and leaned forward. “It’s not hands on combat I’m worried about…” anger creeping into his voice. “She shot a guy in the head, Kowalski… _point blank_. You think she’s going to think twice about offing my wife if she tries to get in the way of whatever it is she has planned? Or my sister? You know how Frannie can be all up in your face and mouthy…”

 

“Calm down, Ray. We don’t know if she even knows we are on to her. For all she knows you’re just out of town.” Kowalski tried to calm Vecchio down. “Listen, I care about Stella and Frannie, too. I don’t want anything to happen to them, either.”

 

“It’s _me_ she wants.” Fraser spoke quietly from the passenger seat, not meeting his friend or his lover’s eyes, but stared out into the rainy night instead.

 

“Well, _too bad_.” Kowalski pointed a finger in his direction, jabbing Fraser in the upper arm. “She’s not getting you. You promised me you were _mine_ at the end of the day. Remember?” Kowalski’s voice broke. “And… and I’m holding _you_ to it, dammit.”

 

Fraser grabbed Ray’s finger and held Ray’s hand tight. “I didn’t say I was going with her, Ray. I _am_ going home with _you_ at the end of the day.”

 

“You promise, Ben?” Ray choked out.

 

“Yes… I promise.” Fraser placed a kiss to Ray’s hand and locked their fingers tightly together.

 

“I tried calling Frannie too, but she must have left her phone in the car or something.” Vecchio realized he never answered Fraser’s earlier question. “No answer at Ma’s either or our house phone.”

 

“Call Welsh…” Kowalski offered. “Have him send an officer out to your house. Tell him we’re on our way home. But we need someone to check on the girls now.”

 

Vecchio phoned the station. “What do you mean he’s out of town? Oh for God’s sake. Can you send an officer by my house, check on my wife and sister for me? Call me back… _ASAP_.” He flipped his phone shut and threw his head back against the seat. “Can’t you drive any faster, Kowalski?”

 

“I can, but I’d rather not wrap us around a tree or flip us upside down in a cornfield. I know how fond you are of those. There are deer that run out of these fields, you know. You want to hit one of them going eighty and see what’s left of us?”

 

“I’m sorry… I’m just worried. I wish she would just call me back.”

 

“We’ll get there ok…”

 

 

 

 

 

Jill took Stella’s phone and switched it off. She handed Frannie the bottle of wine as she glanced around the living room. “Where’s the wolf this time?”

 

Stella sat down on the couch and gestured for Jill to have a seat as well. “I put him up before you got here. I didn’t think you would want him to try and eat you again. Ben should be back tomorrow and be able to take him home.”

 

“That’s good. No, I don’t think he likes me very well. Where’s Ray? When do I finally get to meet this husband of yours you’re always chattering on about?” Jill asked her friend.

 

“He’s working. He’s out of town until tomorrow.” Stella smiled sadly. “I miss him though. He’s been gone since Sunday. Saw him for an hour today, but he caught a lead on the case he’s been working on and flew back to Indiana.”

 

Frannie returned from the kitchen with two glasses of wine and a cup of tea. She handed Jill a wine glass and Stella the tea. She claimed the overstuffed chair next to the couch and settled in with her own glass. “Mmmm… this is really great. What is it?”

 

Jill’s smile turned sly. “That is a moscato wine, called Junebug.” Jill eyed Stella’s cup of tea. “You’re not having any, Stell?”

 

Stella looked up from her steaming cup of tea and shook her head quickly. “No, I uh… haven’t been feeling well the last few days and don’t want to push the stomach issue.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Jill looked like her feelings had been hurt. “Next time maybe.” She looked to Frannie, who was halfway through her glass. Her smile returned to her face. “Your friend is sure enjoying it.”

 

“Where are my manners?” Stella palm slapped her forehead. “I’m so sorry, Jill. This is my sister-in-law and friend, Francesca.”

 

The two women exchanged pleasantries.

 

“I haven’t had a drink in I can’t tell you how long. Between the pregnancy and breastfeeding, it’s been almost two years.” Frannie pointed to her glass. “This is perfect. You’re gonna have to tell me where I can find it.”

 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

 

“Well… tips you glass up an enjoys it wif me.” Frannie slurred her words.

 

Stella stifled a giggle. “Francesca, I think you’re drunk.”

 

“ _Noooo_ …” Frannie held onto the word longer than necessary. She proved she was still sober by pouring herself another glass, without spilling much onto the countertop. “Okay, so maybe I’m a little…” She spun her hand in the air as she tried to find the correct word.

 

“Tipsy…” Jill provided.”

 

“Yes… that’s it. I’m just a wittle bit tipsy.” Frannie eyed her glass and then Jill’s. “Please don’t make be the only tipsy one here, Jill.”

 

Jill apologized and picked up her glass to take a drink. It slipped out of her fingers and spilled onto the floor.

 

“Oh Stella, I’m so sorry. Where’s a cloth so I can clean this up?” Jill was frantically trying to sop up the spilled wine with the towel Stella had tossed her.

 

“ _That’s alcohol abuse!”_ Frannie exclaimed loose lipped. All three women broke out into fits of laughter.

 

“Jill…” Frannie began as she closed her eyes and leaned her head on the arm of her chair. “What’s your last name? You wook... a wittle... familiar. Do I know you from somewheres?”

 

“It’s Kennedy.” Jill studied Frannie’s almost sleeping form. She looked to Stella. “Can’t hold her liquor, huh?”

 

“It has been a while since she’s had anything to drink, but I wouldn’t think two glasses of wine would have done her in. Maybe she’s tired from taking care of the baby. She has the most adorable 18 month old little girl.”

 

Frannie began mumbling. “Kennedy… you ain’t no Jill Kennedy.” Francesca opened her eyes into thin slits. She tried to sit up in her chair but was unable. “Stell… she’s not… not Ben’s Jill.”

 

Stella eyed her friend confused. “What are you talking about Frannie? What about Ben?”

 

Frannie closed her eyes and moved a hand toward Jill. “She not Ben’s Jill therpy…” She muttered before she passed out.

 

“Well, that was weird?” Jill looked from Frannie to Stella. “Who’s Ben?”

 

“You think she’s okay?” Stella asked alarmed. “I mean… she just passed out.”

 

“She’ll be fine.” Jill’s voice turned harsh. “Who’s Ben?” she asked again.

 

“Ben? He’s a friend of my husband’s. Ray’s helping him find someone he used to know.” Stella was staring at Frannie’s passed out form in her chair, befuddled. “What do you think Frannie meant by ‘not Ben’s Jill therpy’?”

 

Jill rolled her eyes at her friend and motioned towards Frannie’s sleeping form. “She’s drunk… who knows what she meant.”

 

Stella moved from the couch and grabbed a blanket to cover Francesca.

 

“Okay, this has gone far enough.” Jill stood up behind Stella.

 

 

 

The steady sound of rain hitting the roof of the car combined with the constant swish of the wipers had lulled Vecchio to sleep. Kowalski glanced into the rearview mirror and wished he had a pillow for the guy. He got the feeling he hadn’t been sleeping very well recently. ‘At least I got a little nap today,’ he thought to himself. He knew what Victoria was capable of and it scared him.

 

Vecchio shifted uncomfortably on the rear seat. His exhaustion had won out over his comfort level. He was dreaming of Stella and Francesca. Frannie was asleep in the overstuffed chair covered with a blanket his mother had made him for a wedding gift. She looked so peaceful. He knew it was a ruse. Frannie wouldn’t be sleeping peacefully while Stella was in danger. ‘Hold on, Sis... I’m coming.’

 

 

The car hit a pothole and Vecchio was transported into his kitchen. His beautiful Stella was tied to a solid oak chair from their dining set. Her mouth had been gagged with a kitchen towel. Her wrists and feet tied with the clothesline rope he had been meaning to hang up out back.

 

He heard Frannie in the background speaking to him through a haze. ‘Hey, _Ray -_ Stella’s been waiting to tell you... but she’s scared you’re not ready.’

 

Ray turned to face his sister, who was still asleep in the chair. ‘What Frannie? What’s Stella need to tell me?’ He imagined the worst... divorce, because he was too messed up to be able to handle a real marriage.

 

‘She’s pregnant, _Ray._ You’re going to be a father.’ Frannie’s voice was cheerful in his head, which was weird. Because things weren't particularly cheerful right now. And he was asleep, and Frannie was asleep, so he wasn't quite sure how they were talking to each other. Besides, Frannie's thumb was in her mouth, almost like when she'd been a baby. She was still talking though. This time she sounded somber.

 

‘You’re okay, right? You’re not as messed up as they say you are _, are you_? You _can_ handle this, right?"

 

‘Uhm...’ Ray considered the current state of his mental health. ‘Hard to say at this point.’ He was talking in his sleep to his sister, who was talking in her sleep to him, and he was on the back seat of a car somewhere, and she was in Stella’s oversized chair, only she couldn't be asleep because...

 

Oh... Frannie was still talking.

 

‘Because, you know, Ray… Stella is relying on you to be the strong person that she knows you are inside of yourself. You need to bring _our_ Ray Vecchio back home.’

Ray was just about to say he had no idea how to do that - he turned back towards his bound wife in the kitchen and - _Kowalski swerved to miss a deer –_

 

He was jolted from the kitchen to his bedroom - _their_ bedroom.

 

Stella was resting on their bed, cradling... _oh my God_... cradling their baby.

 

‘He’s ours Ray.’ Stella beamed at him. ‘He’s beautiful, isn’t he?’

 

Ray kissed his wife, gently, on the mouth. She tasted like... milk and roses. ‘Stell,’ he whispered, ‘you’re... you’re perfect.’

 

The baby... the boy... ‘my son,’ made a snuffling sound. ‘Oh God,’ Ray said, and placed kisses, like promises of protection, on top of his newborn son’s bald head.

 

‘I’m coming... hold on, Babe.’

 

The car swerved again and Vecchio was asleep, again in the backseat. He turned to his other side and mumbled, ‘Hold on figlio mio... we’re coming.’

 

“Damn deer are _everywhere_.” Kowalski muttered. “I can’t believe she has been under our noses this entire time and we never knew it.” Kowalski’s voice was quiet but determined. “We’re gonna get her Ben.”

 

Fraser let a small forced, laugh. “No wonder Diefenbaker was acting strangely for Stella.”

 

“Why? What’d she do to Dief?” Ray asked.

 

“I never told you did I?” Fraser stared at his partner. “Ray had come over, and it was late or I suppose, very early in the morning. I was supposed to go to his house for a pool party with a couple of the guys and I never went.” Fraser turned and stared out into the rainy night. “I stayed in with Victoria. He came over, confronted me and left angry. I ran after him and caught him at a stoplight. While we were talking, I heard a gunshot. I ran back and she was gone … and Diefenbaker …” Fraser’s voice grew quiet. “He was near death on the floor. He had been shot. It was later determined that the bullet matched the same one that killed her partner, Jolly and was fired from my father’s stolen 38.”

 

“That’s what that funny lump is on the side of his neck, huh? Never figured it for a bullet wound.” When Fraser and Diefenbaker moved in with Ray, he was curious about the nature of wolves. He had always thought the lump on the side of Dief’s neck was a scar from a fight with another wolf.

 

“Everything was... _is_ a huge mess concerning Victoria.” Fraser rubbed his temples.

 

“You know, Ben.” Ray pulled his partner’s hand away from his forehead. “I can see how you fell for her.”

 

“How’s that, Ray? Everyone else thinks I’m crazy for ever loving her.”

 

“I didn’t say you weren’t crazy.” Fraser rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away.

 

“What _do_ you mean?”

 

“She’s beautiful. Plain and simple. She tried everything in her power to seduce _me_ when you were at that conference.”

 

Fraser turned to stare at his lover.

 

“She can be very convincing. And with the shorter hair and the highlights, she doesn’t look anything like her mug shot. I would have never known it was her.”

 

“What did she do? You said she can be convincing, what did she do?”

 

“I went out a couple times, caught up with some friends at that bar we like a few streets over. She must have followed me there. Came up all sexy and sultry looking, offered to buy me a drink.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I told her, ‘no’. Told her I have someone back home that I care a lot about. She let it go, hit on one of the other guys the rest of the night, but never stopped staring.”

 

“I remember that night. My back was killing me and I called you and you sounded... _distracted.”_

 

“I was distracted, but not because of her. I had helped Frannie with Lucy earlier in the day and it just got me thinking.”

 

“Ray...” Frase knuckle rubbed his eyebrow.

 

“No... it’s cool. I wasn’t going to suggest it. Anyway, the following night, I met up with the guys again and there she was waiting for us at the bar. Still wouldn’t let her buy me a drink, but I did share a dance with her.”

 

Fraser turned his head. “You _danced_ with her?”

 

“It meant nothing. It just meant that I wanted to dance. I would have much rather been dancing with you, but you were up in freezerland. Come on, don’t be mad, it didn’t mean anything.”

 

“I’m not mad, Ray. I just wished you would have told me.”

 

“I _did_ tell you. I said ‘Hey, I just wanted to tell you that there’s been this woman hitting on me and I love you... so, I’m telling you. Nothing’s happened, except we shared a dance’.”

 

Fraser was relieved. ‘Oh... yes, you did tell me that...’ he remembered the phone call but was distracted by his aching back.

 

“I told you all of that when I talked to you that weekend. I told you she kept following me around, _accidently_ running into me at places. Then a day before you came home, I never saw her. Haven’t seen her since.” Ray glanced at Fraser. “I didn’t know it was Victoria, Ben. And even if she did tell me her name was Jill Kennedy, how the hell am I supposed to know who that is?”

 

“Jill was my therapist. Victoria must have known that and used her name.”

 

“Which makes sense that she may have also known the orderly that Vecchio was talking about, you know... the guy from the diner.”

 

“How could I forget _him_? He still doesn’t look familiar. Granted, I don’t recall a whole lot from those first few weeks. If he worked in the ER, it’s highly unlikely I would have seen him again. Unless, he had rounds in the ICU.” Fraser looked at Ray and began to get choked up. “Ray...”

 

“Yeah?” Ray was staring out the windshield, straight ahead towards Chicago.

 

“Look at me...” Fraser pleaded.

 

“What?” Ray turned his head and could see Fraser’s glistening eyes in the dark of the car.

 

“I could be in for a long recovery.” He didn’t need to say anything else. He knew from the way Ray looked at him, he would be by his side through it all.

 

“And you know I’ll be there.” Ray gave Ben’s arm a reassuring squeeze.

Fraser nodded. “I know... as I would be there for you.”

 

“As you _are_ for me, Ben. _Always_.” Ray would do anything for the man he loved. “Let’s get through this first, then we will worry about surgery.”

 

 

After an hour of driving, it suddenly hit Ray that no officer had called Vecchio back. The guy was still asleep in the back of the car. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number to the station by heart.

 

“Hey, this is Detective Kowalski. I thought someone was supposed to check on Vecchio’s wife and sister and get back with us. We haven’t heard from anyone.”

 

The officer on the other end of the line got the ‘kick in the head’ through the phone. “Calm down, Sir. We sent someone out to check and everything is fine at the Vecchio residence.”

 

“I will not calm down! Victoria Metcalf is at his house and his family could be in danger.”

 

“Listen - I don’t know how much you know about... ex-detective Vecchio, but...”

 

Ray didn’t like the tone this man was taking. “I know he’s a good cop.”

 

“He was a good cop. Then he cracked up big time. Psycho discharge. So, I don’t know what story he spun you but...”

 

“It isn’t a story, you _fucking moron_. Someone needs to get over there now!”

 

“We’ve been there. And it’s just like we suspected. Patrol car arrives, we go bang on the door, and there’s Mrs. Vecchio, large as life and twice as beautiful -”

 

“Someone talked to Stella? Well why hasn’t she called us back? Or his sister?”

 

“Oh... well, she’s got her hands full, Mrs. Vecchio. The sister was passed out drunk in the chair and... confidentially, she explained that this isn’t the first time her husband’s gone off the rails. You know, after that whole undercover thing. He’s never been quite the same, has he?”

 

“He’s not crazy. _Listen._.. I know Frannie and it isn’t like her to get drunk, let alone in the middle of the week. Something isn’t right over there. And you don’t know anything about Vecchio.”

 

“What did you say your name was again?”

 

“Detective Kowalski...”

 

“ _Right_... you’re that gay cop with the queer partner from Canada. Two faggots and a cop who cracked up undercover and got psyched out of the service, running all over the countryside. I’m sure you make a great team. Leave the real police work to the professionals who aren’t screwed up. The lovely Mrs. Vecchio with the sultry body and that curly brown hair is just fine. And Vecchio’s lush of a sister is sleeping it off in the chair. Have a good night, Sir.” The officer hung up the phone.

 

Shit, that little bastard... Ray calmed himself down, “He doesn’t believe us Ben. Victoria’s there. He said she had curly brown hair.”

 

“Stella’s a blonde, Ray.”

 

“I know that, _Fraser_! I’m not stupid,” Ray lashed out angrily.

 

“There’s no need to yell at me.” Fraser said taken aback at his partner’s sudden hostility.

 

Vecchio sat up in the backseat and rubbed his bleary eyes. “What’s with all the commotion?”

 

Ray’s voice shook. He couldn’t help it - he’d been trying so hard to keep it together for Ben and Vecchio and right now...

 

“Patrol officers went by your house, said everything was just fine. Apparently they don’t believe a gay cop or a cracked up ex - detective.” Fucking hell. The bitch had Stella. Had Frannie. He pulled himself together. “Victoria answered the door claiming to be Stella and those fucking morons believed her.”

 

“How close are we?”

 

“About half an hour yet.”

 

“What did he say Ray?” Fraser asked cautiously. Something had triggered his partner’s anger.

 

“It doesn’t matter... they don’t believe us. We’re on our own.”

 

 

 

 

Stella turned around after draping the afghan over Francesca and was startled when she ran into Jill.

 

“Jill... you scared me.”

 

“When are they supposed to be back?” Jill demanded, taking a step closer to Stella.

 

“Who? Ray? He won’t be back until tomorrow night.” Stella stepped closer to the chair Frannie was asleep in.

 

“Is Ben with him?”

 

“I would imagine he would come back with _his Ray._ They drove separately. He will be here eventually to take Diefenbaker home.” Stella was becoming alarmed. Why was her friend asking her all these questions?

 

“Yes... _the wolf.”_ Jill sneered. I should have put another bullet in him when I had the chance.”

 

“Jill, what are you talking about?”

 

“Ben’s damn overprotective wolf. You know how many times I got _this_ close to him... only to have that damn wolf screw things up for me.”

 

“You know Ben?” Stella was getting a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She took another protective step towards Frannie’s chair. “What was in the wine, Jill?”

 

“Just a little something to make subduing you easier. Didn’t realize you would turn me down for a drink. Now, I’m just going to have to think of something else for you.” Jill peered around Stella at Frannie. “Didn’t take much to subdue her though, did it?”

 

 

Stella had a sudden urge to release Diefenbaker from the laundry room. She began to take a step around Jill and was stopped with a firm hand to her elbow. “I’m a little confused as to what kind of relationship you have going on with Ray and Ben.”

 

“My relationship is none of your damn business.”

 

"You know... It's a little confusing how he could have thrown away a relationship with me for the scrawny blond guy. What could he possibly see in him?"

 

"Ben and Ray are perfect together. They make each other very happy."

 

"Please... Ben’s going to choose a _man_ over me? Let's see what choice he makes _this_ time."

 

Stella’s hands went to her face. "Oh my God... your name’s not Jill... you're _Victoria."_

 

“Very clever, my dear. Do you know how long it took to get this close to Ben?”

 

“What are you talking about? What do you want with him?”

 

“Nothing like getting all friendly with the best friend’s wife to get what you want.”

 

“Get out! Get out of my home, _now!_ ” Stella yelled.

 

“No... I’m not going anywhere until Ben gets here. Then, the two of us are going far away. Why don’t you give that husband of yours a call and tell him it’s time to come home. Or, better yet, why don’t you give your other Ray a call. Let’s see who he chooses. Hmmm, let me put a bullet in his ex -wife, or let Ben come with me. Touch decision to make there.”

 

“Ben will never chose you, he loves Ray.”

 

“You don’t get it... do you? He _was_ going with me and your husband stopped him.”

 

“He was aiming for you, you stupid bitch.”

 

Victoria quickly back-handed Stella across the face. “Watch who you’re calling a ‘bitch’.”

 

Stella placed a hand to her reddened cheek. ‘Who the hell does she think she is?’

 

Victoria pulled a small handgun out of her pocket and pointed it at Stella. “If you want something done right, you _always_ have to do it yourself. Couldn’t get Greta to kill Ben the first, second _or_ third time. Do you know how hard it was to _pretend_ to be her friend? And don’t even get me started on that stupid orderly from the hospital. I mean, _really_... how hard is it to pretend to rob a place, take a hostage and then kill them?”

 

“If you love him so much, why would you want to kill him?”

 

“Well things change, honey. I’ve come to realize that if I can’t have him, and he clearly has chosen someone else, then _nobody’s_ going to get him.”

 

“How dare you pretend to be my friend. If I would have known, you would never have gotten close to Ben.”

 

“Well, you think you’re the only one I’ve been getting cozy with? Ask your _other_ Ray about when Ben went back to Canada. Ask him who his friend was that he was drinking and dancing with. You think he’s so loyal to Ben... think again, sweety.”

 

“I don’t believe you. Ray would never betray Ben.”

 

“He’s a really great kisser isn’t he? Oh wait...it’s been awhile for you, hasn’t it? Take my word for it... incredible. And wait until I tell Ben, you think he’s going to want Ray hanging around after he finds out he’s been unfaithful?”

 

“You’re wrong... even if that were true, Ben wouldn’t come crawling back to you.”

 

Victoria had her gun pointed at Stella, who had backed herself up protectively in front of her sister-in-law. Frannie was still dead to the world in the chair. Stella bumped against the chair and caught herself on the end table next to the couch. She felt her hand hit the framed photo of herself and her friends. She snatched it and hurled it at Victoria’s head. She hit her target.

 

“You bitch!” Victoria lunged forward, trying to reach Stella, but Stella twisted away from her grasp, and ran towards the kitchen. ‘If I can just get the door to the laundry room open for Dief’, she thought. ‘Oh God... where did Victoria put my cell?’

 

Victoria let out a wicked laugh as she pulled Stella’s phone out of her pocket. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

 

Stella turned her head to look at Victoria, catching her foot on the leg of a kitchen chair. She stumbled, and went sprawling across the kitchen floor.

 

Victoria pocketed the phone and swiped her hand across her bloody cheek. She strode up to Stella, fiercely, clearly furious. “You don’t get to fight back,” she snarled, and dropped to her knees, reaching out for Stella’s throat.

 

Stella twisted again, and jabbed a fist against her assailant. She didn’t waste time name calling, but shoved, trying to roll the bigger woman off her, while protecting her belly. Victoria’s eyes suddenly went wide, and cruel.

 

“You’re pregnant,” she whispered triumphantly, and punched Stella, aiming for her belly.

 

Stella tucked her knees up to shield her body, and launched them against Victoria’s chest. Victoria let out a grunt. Stella rolled the other woman off her, and leapt to her feet. ‘Like Ray says,’ she thought, remembering her years as a Kowalski _,_ ‘don’t take any crap - just kick ‘em in the head.’

 

Victoria scrambled across the floor - ‘oh God, no...’ Too late Stella realized that she’d lost her chance. The other woman grabbed the gun, and turned, still on the floor, but triumphantly pointing the weapon straight at Stella - at Stella, and her unborn child.

 

“You,” Victoria said, in cold tones, “are going to do everything I tell you. _Now.”_

 

 

Ray Vecchio saw the Chicago skyline for the second time that day. He knew they were close now, just a few more minutes and they could rescue his family. He thought back to his dream.

 

‘Is it true? _Am I_ really going to be a father?’

 

Fraser shifted nervously in his seat. The last time he had laid eyes on Victoria, he was falling from a train with his arms stretched out towards her. He considered his lover, driving the Goat and everything the man meant to him. Ray filled all the voids in his life… friend, partner, _lover._

‘Ray’s more than Victoria ever was to me.’ He reached over and squeezed Ray’s thigh and gave him an affectionate smile. It was a simple gesture, but he knew Ray would understand the _devotion_ and love behind it.

 

Ray placed his hand atop Fraser’s and gripped it tightly. He gave him a loving glance before returning his eyes to the road ahead.

 

 “We need a plan, Vecchio.” Ray caught sight of his nervous friend in the backseat. He turned his head toward him. “It’s gonna be ok. We’ll get the girls out. You got a back way into your house?”

 

“Um… not exactly a back way.” Vechhio replied evasively.

 

“Okay,” Ray bit back his frustration. He wished Vecchio would just spit it out. “If it’s not a back way, what way is it? I don’t think we are going to surprise Victoria by walking in the front door.”

 

“Um...”

 

“ _What?”_ Ray practically shouted.

 

“Oh God,” Vecchio sounded ashamed. “It’s a... you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but it’s a secret entrance.”

 

For a moment there was silence in the car.

 

“A secret entrance?”

 

“Yeah. I... um... after Vegas I kinda thought it might be a good idea to have some safety features around in case...” Vecchio coughed. “Well, Stella didn’t like it, but turns out I was right, wasn’t I?”

 

“It was a very good idea, Ray,” Fraser interjected before Vecchio could get anymore embarrassed or defensive. “So- does Stella know about this secret way in and out? Perhaps, she could affect her own rescue.”

 

Ray glanced to the rear of the car. Vecchio was hiding his face. “No,” he groaned. “She doesn’t know. She said yes to the panic room, then she said I was going over the top, and had to stop being so paranoid so... so I had it put in when she was visiting her aunt in Switzerland.”

 

“So, she doesn’t know how to get out?”

 

“No. Anyway... Victoria’s tied her up in the kitchen, and Frannie can’t move because...” Vecchio’s voice trailed off again. “Shit, I’ll shut up now. You guys think I’m crazy.”

 

“Greatness, so how do we get in this secret entrance?”

 

“It’s around back of the house, so nobody can see us from the road. We’ll have to park up a way, walk through the garden- follow me, I know how to keep out of sight of the windows.”

 

“Okay and when we get there, where do we end up?”

 

“Upstairs, in the en- suite bathroom.”

 

“In the _bathroom?_ ” Ray nearly laughed, then realized just how not funny it was. “What if Victoria’s got them in the bedroom?”

 

“She’s got Stella in the kitchen, and Frannie in the living room,” Vecchio said.

 

Ray said nothing. Maybe the guy was crazy, but since he’d been with Ben, he’d discovered all sorts of weird things happened. Besides, it was a risk they’d have to take.

 

“Finally,” he said in bright tones, to cheer Vecchio up as much as himself and Fraser.

 

“Something in our favor, Ben.”

 

Fraser gave a knowing smile. “Finally.”

 

 

Kowalski killed the headlights and pulled onto Vecchio’s street. He parked four houses down and the three friends stepped out into wicked rainy night. They walked briskly towards the house, Vecchio taking the lead through his neighbors’ back yards. ‘I wonder how many times he’s practiced this,’ Ray thought. He guessed the neighbors had never noticed- there had been no reports of prowlers. Still- it was _kind of_ creepy when you thought about it. It was after one in the morning, and all the lights in the lower level of the Vecchio home were burning brightly.

 

“Where now?” Ray whispered. Vecchio jerked his head to follow him, and they came to the back of the house.

 

Vecchio reached up and touched a brick. It looked just like the rest of the wall, but moved slightly. Vecchio slid his fingers in. “There’s a keypad,” he whispered. “If you guys ever need it again...” He shut his eyes. Looked like he was trying to breathe calmly. “Give you the number later... it’s a bit of a long one.”

 

“Not your birthday then?” Ray joked.

 

“No. Ten digits of pi, starting after the sixteenth digit...”

 

“Five, eight, nine, seven, nine...”

 

“Stop that, Benny, I’ll lose count... okay. We’re in.”

 

“Figures, you’d know it, Ben.”

 

The red wall opened, silently, a narrow slot, leading to plain stone steps.

 

Both Rays checked the clips on their guns and gave the silent nod… they were ready.

 

Kowalski turned to Fraser and caught his lips in a desperate kiss. He brushed his thumb over Ben’s lips and mouthed ‘I love you’ before turning and following Vecchio up the silent stairs.

 

At the top of the stairs, Vecchio veered to the right. There was a small cubby-hole, with a tiny desk and a monitor. Silently, he flipped a switch. The downstairs of his home came alive on the display.

 

 Kowalski squeezed his shoulder. He had known Vecchio was unsettled and nervous when he moved back from Florida. He just hadn’t realized how bad it was. His friend was having a difficult time with ‘Vegas’ not letting him go. Made sense that he would have cameras installed in his home for a sense of security.

 

There, on the screen, they could clearly see Frannie asleep in the overstuffed chair in the living room. Her hands and wrists bound with what looked like duct tape.

 

‘Oh, God …’ Vecchio thought as the screen changed to an opposite angle of his living room. His Stella was bound to one of the solid wood chairs from their dining set. Victoria had used the rope he had meant to hang up out back for Stella’s laundry line.

 

 _‘Almost_ identical to my dream.’ Vecchio shuddered at the memory. He had to get them free soon. His family was counting on him.

 

“You’re a genius,” Ray whispered. ‘A psychic genius, obviously.’ How the hell did Vecchio know Stella was tied up in the kitchen, or that Frannie was in the living room.

 

Vecchio’s face was pale in the light of the monitor. He looked slightly sick. He turned to Ray and Benny, nodded at his friends. ‘It’s time.’

 

 

 

 

Victoria was pacing the length of the living room. She stole a glance out the front windows, looking for signs of life. She stopped at the front door and made sure it was locked. She had managed to wrestle Stella into the chair, but not without receiving a few more blows to the head from the feisty blonde.

 

Two guns clicked behind her. She spun around. She raised her own gun, pointing it at a frightened Stella. Victoria locked eyes with Fraser.

 

“It’s been a long time... _come with me, Ben.”_

 

“Not this time.”

 

Victoria changed her target and locked onto Kowalski. _“What about now?”_


	7. Showdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another labor of love chapter... Thank you BG for helping make this so much better. I hope all of you are enjoying this story. Please feel free to leave me your feedback and comments. Once again... enjoy!

Fraser’s blue eye’s locked onto Victoria’s hardened face as she pointed her gun at his lover. Ice water chilled his veins and his heartbeat quickened. This wasn’t just about him and Victoria any more. His friends were all in danger now. He scanned the room as he felt both of his Rays flanking him on either side. Francesca was still passed out in the cozy chair, covered with Ma Vecchio’s afghan. Her duct tape bound hands protruding slightly from under the blanket. He could see the steady rise and fall of her sleeping form under the blanket. ‘She was still alive, thank God,’ thought Fraser.

Stella was bound to the hard wood chair at the end of the couch. She was frozen, half fear, half fury. It appeared she and Victoria had had an altercation. Both women had fresh bruises forming quickly on their exposed skin. There were tears forming in Stella’s eyes, as she begged her husband and friends through silent pleas to save her and Frannie. And yet despite her obvious fear, Ray looked at his ex-wife, and his heart filled with pride. ‘Good girl, Stella- you kicked that bitch in the head.’ And the minute she’s free , she’d start kicking again... ‘Atta girl. Vecchio was a lucky man.’

Fraser felt his muscles tense as Victoria moved from the door. He kept his eyes tightly focused, tracking her as she sidestepped, taking up her position behind Stella. ‘Oh God- she was using Stella as a human shield.’

With a narrow gaze, Victoria held her gun, still raised in a horizontal line. Neither Ray would risk hitting Stella. Fraser knew it, Victoria knew it- Stella knew it too. She raised her head defiantly. Fraser smiled to reassure her, Stella smiled bravely back.

She tilted her head at an angle, observing Vecchio, still keeping her aim on Kowalski. “I’m a pretty decent shot, which is more than I can say for you. I _actually hit_ what I’m aiming for. And I don’t shoot _my friends_ in the back.”

Fraser’s heart flinched for his friend. Vecchio recoiled... Victoria had struck a nerve. ‘Ray,’ he thought, ‘Lord, I’m so sorry.’ Vecchio’s hand was trembling and Victoria smiled triumphantly.

 

“That’s because you don’t have any friends… _bitch_ ,” Kowalski sneered as he took a protective step closer to Fraser.

‘Oh God, be careful,’ Fraser thought. He knew what Ray was doing- trying to defend his first Ray with the sarcastic comment, trying to protect _him_ with his body- he flinched, moving toward Ray, but Victoria’s eyes hardened, and he heard the gun click as she cocked the trigger. He froze.

“I’d watch who you’re calling a _‘bitch’_ , Blondie,” Victoria snapped at Ray. “Would you like me to tell Ben what you and I were up to while he was away?”

“There’s nothing _to_ tell him.” Ray sounded genuinely astonished at the accusation- though Fraser wasn’t entirely sure what she was accusing him of. For the briefest second he almost imagined it- but _no._ He knew Ray. Whatever she was going to tell him, he knew already it was a lie.

“So, having a drink with me was… _nothing?_ ” She asked with a wicked gleam in her eye.

“I have drinks with lots of people, doesn’t mean anything.”

“And dancing with me was again… _nothing?_ ”

“Listen, lady… nothing happened between us. I care too much about Ben to screw it up with some _floozy_ that comes on to me in a bar.”

“Ray,” Fraser said, reaching out and taking hold of his partner’s elbow. He realized how upset his lover had become. “Ray, Ray _, Ray-_ I know that. Believe me, _I know_ that.”

Victoria’s eyes darkened. “What about that kiss?” She shifted her eyes to Fraser. “Bet you didn’t hear about _that_ when you got back home, did you, Ben?”

“You’re full of shit! I _never_ kissed you.” Ray exclaimed angrily. He turned to Fraser who was staring hard at Victoria.

It was difficult for Fraser to remember now, why he ever loved this woman. How far was she prepared to go, how many lies was she prepared to tell?

Ray didn’t know what he was thinking though. “I didn’t, Ben,” he said in pleading tones. “Ben, you gotta believe me. I wouldn’t _do_ that to you.”

“Your lips were so soft and smooth and tasted incredibly sweet, like the nectar from a peach.” Victoria spun her words, trying to gauge Fraser’s reaction.

Fraser let out an uncontrolled giggle, shocking the room’s occupants, including himself. _‘Oh dear_ ,’ he thought. Kowalski looked at him like he had lost his mind and Victoria shot daggers from her eyes in his direction. Only Vecchio stood, as though in a trance, not reacting at all.

“I’ve kissed Ray _many_ times, and I know from experience that his kisses are never sweet like peaches. They taste like bitter coffee laced with chocolate, both of which I know you despise. If you would have _really_ kissed him, you would know this.” Fraser took a step forward around Ray. “Why are you doing this, Victoria? These people have done nothing to you. Stella was nothing but a friend. Leave all of them out of this.” Fraser took another step forward. “It’s between you and me. What do you want from me?”

 _“Come with me, Ben,”_ Victoria repeated.

Fraser stood still, staring at the beautiful lady before him. He knew she expected him to melt, so he gave her what she wanted. He allowed his expression to melt. “I _was_ going with you…” On either side of Fraser, both Ray’s flinched at the truth, but Ben had Victoria’s attention. “Don’t you realize that? I was getting on that train to start a life with you.” Another step forward and Fraser ignored the _“Ben…”_ that came from behind him. Oh God, he hated himself for doing this, but he had to get her attention onto him, away from his friends. “You never came back…” he said- and it was true as far as it went. “What was I to think? I laid in that hospital for weeks, hallucinating up images of you because… I wanted to be with you.” Fraser reached up and ran his bent finger across the bridge of his nose.

Kowalski breathed and inward sigh of relief… Ben knew what he was doing. ‘Step back, l know what I’m doing… _trust me_ ,’ he read Fraser’s mind.

Beside him, Vecchio was starting to panic. ‘What the hell is Benny doing?’ This couldn’t be happening again...

“I was there, Ben,” she said. “I did come back. Don’t you remember? I came to your room at night… but then… you _changed_.”

“Yes… I had people who _really_ cared about me. I realize now how lucky I was that I never knew you came back, because you _ruin_ everything you touch. You ruined poor Greta. You nearly ruined me, and I was willing to let you, because I felt it would have made us even.” Fraser confessed. He had told the two most important people in his life, what Victoria had done to him. It was time he told the woman herself. “I’m lucky I was shot.”

“You’d sooner be shot than go with me?” She asked incredulously.

“I’d sooner die.” Fraser declared bluntly. “Why was revenge so important to you? We could have been happy, Victoria. You had served your time, you were free to do as you pleased. We could have started a fresh life together. I would have gone anywhere with you, done anything for you... but you ruined that dream by deceiving me. All I wanted was for you to let me love you.”

Victoria whispered, “How could you love me if you didn’t understand me?”

“You never gave me a chance.” Ben replied quietly.

“The only way to make you understand was to make you suffer.” Victoria’s voice hardened.

“Well, Victoria, I’ve suffered. And now I understand… you _never_ loved me.”

Victoria’s lips tightened into a thin red line at Fraser’s admission. She shook her gun in Kowalski’s direction a few steps behind Ben. “What about him?”

Fraser turned to look at Ray. “What _about_ him?” he asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

“What would you be willing to do for him? How much do you _love_ _him?”_ Victoria moved the gun quickly to the side of Stella’s head and pressed it into her temple. Stella took a sharp breath, and closed her eyes tightly, whispering a silent prayer. “What would you be willing to do... to keep me from killing your best friend’s wife?”

Vecchio finally spoke up, his voice firm. “You better not hurt a hair on her head. I told you once I would kill you if you hurt Benny… that goes double for Stella.”

“You actually _think_ you can hit me? Your aim isn’t too good if my memory serves me correctly. Who shoots their friend in the back?” Victoria taunted Vecchio.

“I was aiming for you, _Bitchtoria!”_ Vecchio spat back. His arm was getting tired from the standoff and began to quiver, or maybe it was nerves, he didn’t know. What he did know was he’d _never… ever_ let this bitch hurt anyone he loved again. He heard Kowalski mutter ‘Good one, Vecchio.’

Victoria untied the gag around Stella’s mouth with one hand and dropped it to the floor. “I think Stella has some news for you Ray. You want to try and shoot me and risk hitting your _pregnant_ wife?”

Stella’s frightened eyes locked on to her husband’s. She began to tremble against her restraints. She was cramping- she knew she shouldn’t be feeling like this but...

“Leave her alone…” Kowalski’s voice was shaky. Stella closed her eyes. ‘This was not how I wanted him to hear I was pregnant and now... now...’ Oh God, those pains were scaring her. What if she lost the baby?

“I won’t hit her…” Vecchio was sure of himself.

“How can you be so sure? You’re not the cop you used to be and your aim… well, it could use a _little_ work.” She looked to Ben and studied his face. “But I think you already know that.”

“Stella, baby, I know it’s going to be alright, because I’ve seen us. All three of us… as a _family_. And that woman can’t take that away from me. _From u_ s.”

“Victoria…” Ben’s solid voice cut through the tension in the room. “It’s over.”

“Really?” Victoria laughed in his direction. “Look at your boyfriend behind you Ben… _look_ at the way _he’s_ looking at his _ex-wife._ Are you trying to tell me that he doesn’t have feelings left for her? After all, you can’t give him the child he’s always wanted, can you?”

“ _Shut the fuck up, lady!”_ Ray screamed, anger filling his voice. “That’s not what I told you. Quit twisting everything around and fucking with people’s heads.”

She fired a shot in Fraser’s direction. It buzzed between Fraser and Kowalski and struck the living room wall behind them. Both men jumped, startled.

Vecchio fired off a shot and clipped Victoria in the arm. She staggered back and hid behind Stella.

“I told you your aim was pathetic.” She threw the insult over his wife’s head as she clutched her arm.

‘Yeah,’ Vecchio thought, ‘Completely pathetic. Shit, the one time I’m justified to kill someone, I can’t bring myself to do it.’

He’d killed too many people in Vegas- he’d never wanted to kill anyone again. Even Victoria- he _had been_ aiming at her arm, hoping she’d drop the gun.

He would never admit that to anyone. “Yeah well, yours isn’t much better.” Vecchio retorted.

She grasped the gun with both hands. Despite her injury, she gritted her teeth and raised her arms in Fraser and Kowalski’s direction. She paused giving Vecchio a wicked smile. Never taking her eyes off him, she fired again.

Kowalski grabbed at his chest and fell backwards onto the floor. Fraser twisted and was by his side immediately, pressing his hand onto Ray’s wound. The blood was flowing quickly through his fingers. Ray was gasping for air and bleeding profusely.

“Check the back!” Vecchio yelled. “Is there an exit wound?”

Frantically, Fraser rolled his lover onto his side.

“Yes...”

“Okay, clamp your hands hard on either side. Is it making a sucking sound?”

“Yes...” Fraser shook his head hard. “ _Oh God.”_

Stella was screaming and crying and Francesca was still dead to the world sound asleep in the chair. The events unfolding around her, not phasing her one bit. ‘Thank God, she doesn’t have to witness this.’ Vecchio thought. His head was full of Stella’s screaming. ‘ _Help him… somebody please, help him. Ray… the baby... something’s wrong_. _’_

 

“It’s an easy choice, _Ben_ …” Fraser was shaking with shock, his hands covered in Ray’s blood, still clutching his lover’s chest. Victoria’s voice broke through his daze. He looked up and choked on his words. “He needs an ambulance or he’s going to die.”

“ _Come with me, Ben_.” She repeated the haunted words. “And I will let him live.”

 _‘As if she really was a witch, or a little goddess of the ice. Like she really does have life and death at her command_.’ Fraser shivered, with more than cold.

Ray was motionless, his eyes screwed shut tightly against the pain. His color was... not good, but not bad either. ‘Oh God,’ Fraser thought, ‘five... ten minutes. I can’t believe I’m doing this, counting Ray’s life down in minutes. _Please, God... let this work_.’ He reluctantly let go of Ray’s chest, kissed him and brushed a finger across his nose. He stood up and took a step towards Victoria, toeing Ray’s gun toward his lover’s blood soaked hand.

“I’ll do it... _I’ll go with you.”_ Fraser’s voice quivered. He was silently praying his plan worked. He couldn’t afford for it not to, Ray’s life depended on it.

Vecchio couldn’t believe what he was seeing. ‘No way was Benny doing this to him, again. No way was he running away with her. No way was he going to leave Kowalski to die.’ He dared to take his eyes off of Victoria and stared hard at Fraser’s profile. It was unreadable. Vecchio glanced to Kowalski on the floor. He had his gun in his hand... ‘ _When did that happen_?’ Vecchio looked back at Fraser as he neared Victoria. ‘Oh thank God. His friend was clenching his fist out in some kind of code. Benny had a plan.’

Victoria stepped away from Stella. She pointed her gun once again at Kowalski, daring Fraser to back out. She placed her hand over her injured arm and winced as she tried to stop the bleeding. “It’s a small price to pay for getting what you want, isn’t it Ben.” She unlocked the door and pulled it open with bloody fingers.

Fraser met her at the entrance to his friend’s home. He took one last look at his friend and then his lover and gave three successive blinks before being pushed out into the dark, rainy night. Victoria pulled Stella’s phone out of her pocket and with an evil laugh, dropped it to the floor and smashed it with the heel of her boot.

Vecchio looked to Stella as Victoria turned to follow Ben out of his home. He was torn, his wife was cramping and possibly losing their baby, but not in immediate danger of dying herself.

“Help him, Ray,” Stella’s clear voice rang out. “I’m okay... _save him, please_.”

Vecchio rushed to Kowalski’s side, sliding on his knees in the blood pooled on the floor. He clamped a hand to Kowalski’s chest and pressed hard. “Hold on, we’re gonna get you help.” ‘What was Benny’s plan? He still hadn’t figured it out.’

Kowalski grunted under the pressure. He opened his eyes, his gun still in his hand and watched helplessly as Victoria led Ben away. Fraser was already out the door when Victoria spun back around and raised her gun at Stella.

Kowalski mustered the last of his remaining strength and yelled at Vecchio.

_“Now!”_

Simultaneously, both Rays fired, striking Victoria in the chest. She fell back against Fraser, her gun clattering to the hardwood floor. The impact sent her flying into Fraser’s body, knocking him to the rain soaked ground. Victoria landed with a solid thump on top of him.

The wind momentarily knocked out of him, Fraser caught his breath and shoved Victoria’s body to the side. He pulled himself to his feet and leapt the three steps back into the house, his feet barely touching the ground. ‘Ray... I have to get to Ray.’

Victoria lay dying in the rain, two bullets piercing her heart. _“I should be with him_ ,” she heard herself speak for the last time. She opened her eyes one last time. Ben was jumping the steps, leaving her to die and saving Kowalski instead. With a final breath, she knew she had failed.

 

Fraser ran to Ray’s side and placed his hands atop Vecchio’s. He was wet from the rain, Victoria’s blood was splattered on his face and covered his shirt. He looked into his friend’s eyes. “I’ve got him, go help Stella.” He felt his friend’s hands slide out from under his and he made contact with his lover again. “ _Open your eyes_ , _Ray_.” Fraser demanded.

Vecchio darted to his wife’s side. He fumbled in his pocket for his knife to cut the ropes binding her wrists and ankles. “Hold on baby…”

“ _Ray_ …” she yelled, pulling his attention away from finding the knife. “I’m not the only one with a phone. Call an ambulance… he needs help, please hurry!” Stella watched helplessly as Ben pressed two shaking hands over Ray’s wound. He was covered in blood and trembling. Her heart ached for him.

Vecchio dialed 911. He yelled the appropriate codes into the phone at the operator for ‘officer down’ and ‘multiple ambulances required’, as he found his knife and cut through his wife’s bonds. He hugged her fiercely once she was free and rubbed her wrists to help get the circulation going again.

Stella went to the couch to check on Francesca. She was still out cold. Stella held her abdomen, the cramping had subsided considerably. Vecchio pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She let go of her toughness and broke down and cried. He avoided runny his bloody hands through her hair as he tried to comfort her.

“Shhh… he’s going to be okay… _we’re_ going to be okay.” Vecchio turned towards his friends on the floor. Kowalski’s color was getting paler and Fraser looked like he was going into shock. He quickly led Stella back to Frannie on the couch. “Sit with her… I need to help Benny.” The urgency was clear in his voice.”

 

The paramedics and police arrived as Vecchio knelt down next to his two friends. Kowalski still hadn’t responded by opening his eyes or making any movements. He had to tear Fraser away from Kowalski’s side in order to let the paramedics work on him. “Benny, let them help him,” he pleaded with a voice of reason.

The paramedics handed Kowalski’s glasses to Fraser when they put an oxygen mask over his face. He heard one of the paramedics yell “We need to get rolling… _now!”_ And Vecchio was shoving him into the back of the ambulance. He clutched Ray’s cold limp hand tightly. _‘Don’t give up… hold on,_ ’ he begged him through sobs. The EMTs were working frantically to keep Ray stable and Fraser could only watch as he slipped away.

 

When Vecchio arrived at the hospital, following Stella and Francesca in their own ambulance, he quickly found Benny in the ER waiting room. The paramedics told him Stella and the baby were going to be fine. Francesca had finally come too in the ambulance and would most likely just have a massive headache from the drug she ingested. Both were going to be admitted and checked out officially, before given the all clear to go home.

‘Home,’ Vecchio thought disgusted, ‘my home’s a bloody mess.’ He slid into a hard plastic chair next to Benny and pulled him into a hug. “Have you heard anything?”

Unable to speak, Fraser shook his head. He was toying with Kowalski’s glasses in his bloody fingers.

Vecchio looked at his friend, worried. “Benny, let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Wash your hands, get you a fresh shirt. You don’t want to freak Kowalski out looking like that do you?” He held up a small bag with a change of clothing. “I grabbed it from the car on the way to the hospital.”

Fraser gave him a small sad smile.

“Just don’t tell him I broke into his car to get it.” Vecchio squeezed his friend’s shoulder and led him towards the private room the on- call doctor told him he could use. “You get cleaned up. I’m going to check on the girls.” Vecchio placed both of his hands on either side of Fraser’s face, forcing Benny to look at him. “He’s going to be okay… you hear me?”

“Thank you…” Fraser whispered.

Vecchio patted his cheek. “I’ll be back in ten minutes... tops.”

 

Fraser had fallen asleep in the chair next to Ray’s hospital bed. The steady beeping of the monitors and the exhaustion from being awake all day and night had lulled him to sleep. His head was settled next to their clasped hands. He was Ray’s life line and he wasn’t letting go.

The doctors had finally told him after four hours of waiting impatiently, that Ray would recover fully. He had let out a slow breath and sank to the floor. He buried his head in his hands and broke down. _His_ Ray was going to be okay. He had a feeling his _other_ Ray was going to be just fine as well.

He felt something tickle his cheek and swatted it away with his free hand. His eyes flew open when he realized it was Ray’s fingers caressing his face. He pushed out of his chair and ran his own shaking hand down his lover’s face. Tears fell freely from his eyes.

“Hey…” Ray croaked out. “Stop that.” He paused and caught his breath. Breathing was difficult. Victoria’s bullet had nicked a lung. Another centimeter and he wouldn’t have lasted as long as he did.

“God, Ray… I was so worried about you.” Another tear slid down Ben’s cheek as he settled himself on the edge of Ray’s bed.

“Hey… no crying. You know I’m tougher than that. Not gonna let some bullet keep me down.” He reassured Ben with a warm smile and a firm squeeze of his hand. “How are the girls?”

“They are both fine. Ray took them home a few hours ago to his mothers. Stella wanted to wait and see you, but he promised to bring her back this afternoon.” Fraser laughed lightly. “You think I’m stubborn? I didn’t think he would ever convince her it was okay to leave.”

Ray’s brows drew together and Fraser could tell he was thinking about something difficult. The silence was deafening. “What...” He paused and tried again, coughing hurt and he screwed his eyes shut. Fraser placed a comforting hand on his thigh. He wasn’t used to seeing Ray hurt and suffering. It was usually the other way around.

“What about Victoria?” Ray opened his tired eyes and stared at Fraser’s face. It was void of emotions.

Fraser lifted Ray’s hand, touched it with his lips. “She’s dead,” he said, in matter of fact tones- as though it didn’t matter at all.

Maybe it didn’t anymore.

Ray closed his eyes and squeezed Ben’s hand. “Good,” he whispered, falling back asleep.

Fraser rubbed his thumb across Ray’s hand in soothing motions. He was glad this nightmare was finally over. He settled back into the chair and let sleep overtake his tired and exhausted body.

 

In his dream, it was snowing. Snow had always been a bad sign in his dreams, but now- no, it was _alright_. Dief and Ray were playing in the snow.

A little figure ran toward them, laughing. Fraser couldn’t see her face, obscured as it was by the falling flakes and the blonde curls. She was chattering away, he couldn’t hear her voice clearly, but Ray was laughing. She and Ray were trying to build a snowman, but Dief kept knocking it over.

She turned to him then and smiled- he could clearly see her face. “Daddy, can you help us?”

‘Daddy.’

Fraser smiled in his sleep. He and his Ray were going to have a family, too.

 

There was a soft knock on the door. Ben looked up from his book and smiled when he saw Vecchio and Stella in the doorway. He glanced to the bed. Ray was beginning to stir awake.

“Is it okay if we visit?” Stella asked quietly.

“Of course.” Fraser stood up and offered Stella his chair.

“How are you doing, Ben?” She asked as she took him into her arms and hugged him tightly.

“I’m okay... now that I know he’s going to be fine.” He assured her with a warm smile.

“You mind if I sit with him a while?” she asked tentatively.

Fraser looked uncertain. He wasn’t ready to leave Ray’s side.

“Come on Benny, let’s get some food into you.” Vecchio ushered Fraser to the door. “He’s in good hands. We won’t be gone long.”

 

The door fell shut behind the two men and Stella took Ben’s place next to the bed.

“Hey...” Ray whispered.

“Hey yourself,” she replied as she slipped her hand into his. She covered it with her other one. Ray’s hands were chilled and she tried to pass some warmth into them. “Ben tells me you’re going to be okay. I was so scared.”

“You did good, Stell. I’m...” Ray coughed and his breath caught in his throat. “I’m proud of you.”

“Just doing what you always taught me... ‘Don’t take crap from no one and kick ‘em in the head’.”

“That’s my girl.” Ray closed his eyes. ‘How can I still be so tired?’ he asked himself.

“Ray,” Stella began, keeping her voice gentle, when he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to find out about the baby this way. I wanted to take you to lunch and tell you myself, just the two of us.”

“It’s okay, Stell. I’m happy for you,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. He opened his eyes and gave her a warm smile. “You and I weren’t meant to be parents together.” His voice held a touch of sadness. “Don’t worry about me.” He squeezed her hand when she teared up. “Vecchio’s gonna make a great dad.”

“Thank you, Ray,” she whispered, her voice catching. “That means a lot to me. It will to Ray as well.” The room fell silent. Ray had closed his eyes again. Stella squeezed his hand. “I still love you, you know.”

Ray opened his eyes a fraction  and crinkled them at her. “I’m taken,” he whispered with a smile. “Some Mountie has the hots for me.” His voice was slurring and Stella could tell he was losing the battle to stay awake.

“As a friend, Ray.” She swatted his hand, playfully.

“I know... me too,” he mumbled.

“Would you and Ben be willing to be the baby’s Godparents?”

Ray raised his hand to her face. “We’d be honored, Stell, long as you don’t call it Ray... too many Rays ‘round here,” his voice trailed off as he fell asleep. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. She settled into Ben’s seat and picked up his discarded book.

 

Vecchio and Fraser picked out sandwiches in the hospital cafeteria and found a quiet table in the corner. Fraser’s eyes were dark and Ray could tell he was exhausted.

“Benny, why don’t you let Stella and I sit with Kowalski and you go home and sleep for a few hours.”

“Thank you, kindly, Ray… but I can’t leave.” Fraser picked at his sandwich, hunger the last thing on his mind.

“Yeah, I figured you’d say that.” Ray took a bite of his own sandwich and wiped his face with his  napkin.

“The doctors said that he was going to be okay, Benny.” Ray grabbed Fraser’s hand that wasn’t playing with his sandwich. Fraser looked up startled. “He made it, alright? No more blaming yourself or taking on the weight of the world in guilt.” Ray softened his voice. “She’s gone, Benny… she can’t hurt any of us anymore.”

“Thank God,” Fraser muttered.

Ray took another bite of his sandwich, chewed and chased it with a gulp of tea. Fraser looked up and gave him a genuine smile, as if it finally dawned on him there was something to smile about. A silver lining to the dark clouds surrounding them.

“You’re going to be a father, Ray,” he beamed at his friend. “How does that feel?”

“Well, honestly…” Ray’s voice trailed off as he remembered his dream in the back seat of the car. “For the first time…” he paused and a lopsided smile appeared on his face. “For the first time in a long time, Benny, I think I’m going to be okay.”

Fraser pushed his sandwich to the side and took a drink of his tea instead. “And the baby? Everything checked out okay?” Fraser asked concerned.

“Yeah... everything is fine. Apparently the cramping was just stress related. Eight weeks along the doctor said.” Vecchio sat back in his seat, relief evident in his gestures. He smiled broadly across the table at his friend. “Can you believe it? Me… _a father_?”

Fraser returned his easy smile. “I’m very happy for you. You will make a great father.”

“I learned what kind of dad not to be, from my old man.” Vecchio sat forward in his seat. “My child will come first, Benny.”

Fraser nodded his head. He understood the influence father’s had on their children. His own father and Ray’s were as different as night and day, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be the same kind of father his own was to him.

“So, you and Kowalski... you think you will ever look into adoption?” Ray asked curiously. Both Kowalski and Fraser loved his nieces and nephews and were great with kids in general. It made sense to Ray that they would eventually want a child of their own.

Fraser looked uncertain. “We haven’t talked much about it lately. We both have dangerous jobs.” Benny shrugged his shoulders. “Now...” his voice faded and he looked away from his friend.

“Benny... what is it?” Ray could see sadness creep back into his friend’s face. “Kowalski’s going to be fine. Every doctor in this place has told you that.” Ray squeezed Fraser’s hand reassuring him. “You would make a great father, Benny.”

The silence between them grew longer. The cafeteria was almost empty and Ray swore he would be able to hear a pin drop if someone was inclined to do so. Realization suddenly dawned on him.

“You don’t think the surgery’s going to be successful, do you?”

Benny’s smile was forced. “I have no way of knowing.” He looked away in the direction of Ray’s room. “And now...”

“You’re going to do it, right? Have the surgery?” Vecchio ran his hand over his head. “Shit...”

“It will need to be rescheduled now, anyway. I’m going to need someone to help me and Ray can’t do that right now.”

“Look, Benny, you know there’s me and Stella to look after you guys? As well as Frannie, and Ma, and every Vecchio for a thousand miles around?”

“I couldn’t ask that of you, Ray.”

“Who said anything about asking? We’re just gonna do it.” Vecchio gave his friend another reassuring smile. “ _Let me do this for you, Benny_.”


	8. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end has arrived. Huge hugs and thanks for everyone that has read and followed Tangled Web. A million thank you's to butterfly ghost for your amazing support and beta work. Enjoy...

I would like to make believe that life returned to normal fairly quickly, but life is not a fairy tale. Much as I might like to play ‘pretend,’ the truth is that ‘normal’ was not a word in our vocabulary for quite some time; not mine, not Ray’s and certainly not the Vecchios’.

I accepted Ray’s offer to take us into his home with such- gratitude. I had never had a brother before- and through him, I acquired sisters, nephews, nieces and - Ma Vecchio will never be my mother, but I do love her. To know that they love me, and _my_ Ray too- that means a lot. I knew I could take care of my Ray when he came home from the hospital, but my own surgery was scheduled the following week. I knew Ray would not be well enough once I came home to help with my care on his own. He would have his own list of restrictions from the doctors.

He surprised me by agreeing straight away. I confess to being puzzled...

"I didn't think you'd be so keen on the idea."

"Hey, you know me. Anything for a good meal. And Ma Vecchio will be cooking." He gave my hand a squeeze. "Besides the sooner we get better the sooner we can..." He hooked a hand behind my head and whispered a suggestion into my ear that quite frankly... well. I grinned, evilly. "I'll hold you to that promise, Ray."

"Yeah?" He smiled, and kissed me. He was getting better every day.

Ray was doing well after three days and the doctors had him scheduled for release by the following Wednesday. When they told us the good news, I sighed with relief and kissed his chapped lips. I needed to remember to bring him some lip balm. He was getting antsy being cooped up in the hospital and I couldn’t wait to take him home.

“Hey, Ben, can you bring me a notebook when you get a chance?”

“Certainly.” I asked, slightly puzzled by the request, “Any particular reason?”

He shrugged and looked secretive. Never mind, I was sure he would tell me eventually. “Your wish is my command,” I teased him, and kissed him on my way out to check on Dief.

 

On the fourth day, I stepped out and met Francesca for lunch. Everyone kept telling me I needed to eat something and tea no longer counted as food.

‘You know Benny... tea is _not_ a food group.’ Ray Vecchio had reminded me on more than one occasion.

Ray had just drifted off to sleep and would most likely be out for several hours. That had become his routine… breakfast- nap, lunch- nap, dinner- nap. Everyday had been the same since they got him stable. I wasn’t very hungry but my friends were right, I did need to eat something if I was going to keep up my strength for Ray.

Francesca was laughing at something, but I couldn’t tell you what it was. I was distracted, thinking about Ray. His complexion when I arrived in the morning wasn’t as bright and pink as it had been the previous day. He said he was feeling fine, just a little tired. None of the nurses seemed to think there was a problem, so I tried to push the thought out of my head that something was wrong.

Francesca startled me back into reality by taking my hand.

“You okay, Fraser? You look like you’re a million miles away.”

‘Not a million miles, but three floors too many from the man I love.’ I didn’t want to worry her, so I kept my thoughts to myself. “I’m okay, just concerned about Ray is all.” I gave her a warm smile and tried to pay attention to what she was telling me.

“I told Stella, I was never drinking with her again.” She pressed a hand to her forehead for added emphasis. “I woke up the next morning and had the worst headache of my life,” she exclaimed. I think the color drained from my face about the same time the smile faded from hers. “I’m sorry, Frase… I didn’t mean to bring…” Frannie hesitated unsure what to say. “Well, you know… I didn’t want to…” She stopped obviously frustrated at not being able to find the right words.

It brought a small chuckle to the surface. She was a lot like my Ray in ways. Ray would often stumble over an explanation as well. I nodded in understanding. “It’s okay… it’s over. She can’t hurt any of us anymore.” I gave her another warm smile. “I’m thankful you didn’t have to witness anything.”

We finished our lunch quickly. Well, I mostly picked at mine. I still had no appetite. I would be better once Ray was home and the doctors gave him the all clear. Francesca and I parted ways at the elevators. She needed to get home to Lucy and I was overly anxious to get back to Ray.

Something was wrong… I could feel it in my bones. Maybe, I told myself, maybe I’m worrying about nothing. Maybe it’s just because Frannie was talking about Victoria. I’d been stressed, even before, when I was shot at the diner- back when this whole thing started. Since Ray had been in the hospital, I had barely slept at all.

‘Don’t be silly,’ I told myself, as I stepped out of the elevator on Ray’s floor. ‘Everything’s fine, everything’s going to be okay...’

I stepped out of the elevators on Ray’s floor and noticed a flurry of activity surrounding his room.

_Oh God._

 

I started to run.

“Sir,” a nurse I was not familiar with stopped me just outside the door. “You can’t go in.”

I tried to look through the window, but couldn’t see anything past the sea of blue scrubs.

“Sir,” she reiterated, “you _can’t_ go in there.” She pulled hard at my elbow and blocked my path. I attempted to side-step around her, but she was stronger than I took her for. Or maybe I was weaker. I realized my legs were trembling… my back had been aching for days. And this… this whole thing had taken the strength out of me. All I could do was stare as doctors and nurses flooded in and out of Ray’s room.

The nurse pushed me backwards towards the opposite wall, further and further from Ray. I had no energy left to resist.

“ _Please_ …” I begged her, “God…what happened? I need to be in there with him… he _needs_ me.”

“I’m sorry, but there’s been complications… the doctors are doing everything they can.”

I felt my throat constrict and my heart drop into my stomach. ‘Oh God…’ my world was spinning. I felt her hands tighten around mine as I lowered my head. I could taste the bile in my throat.

I heard someone yell for a crash cart and my world suddenly tilted. The floor rushed up to greet me. _‘Oh God,’_ I thought, _‘he can’t leave me...’_

Next thing I knew, I was sitting. Someone had lifted me from the floor, and placed a chair under me. All I could hear now was a rushing tidal wave in my ears as I tried to concentrate on what was happening, just a door away from me. My breathing was ragged, my heart pounding so hard it hurt. There were steady hands on my shoulders, keeping me planted firmly in the chair. I realized that I was trying to force myself out of the damn thing, get past the damn nurse, but the strong hands wouldn’t let me move.

Doctors were retreating somberly from Ray’s room, shaking their heads.

I heard someone screaming. “ _No! No, no, no…”_ Part of me knew it was my own voice.

“We did all we could do.” An older doctor scrubbed a hand across his face. “You just can’t save some of them.”

I stood up fighting the nurse once again. The strong set of hands were trying to hold me back. I had found some inner strength and tore free from their iron clad grasp. I needed to get to Ray. I needed to see him. I needed to touch him… to _breathe life_ into him. If anyone could do it…

Someone pushed me into the nearest door jam. Forceful arms circled around my chest, my knees buckled and we slid down the door, onto the floor together.

 _“Let go of me!”_ I sobbed...

The arms momentarily let go, one at a time… only to return, capturing both my flailing arms in their powerful embrace.

 _“Let go of me!”_ I demanded again. “ _He needs me.”_

“Benny- Benny- Benny...” Ray Vecchio’s voice was patiently trying to get through. He was the owner of the firm hands that were trying to hold me back. “You don’t understand.”

I tried to wrestle away from him - he was my friend, but God _\- I_ didn't understan _d? He_ didn't understand. _My_ Ray was in there, and they were keeping me from him. They were... they were...

I flashed on it. My mother's body across the threshold of our cabin's front door. My father... I had seen his blood on the snow. Oh, God, they'd killed Ray. Everyone I loved was murdered, and Victoria had tried to kill him, and now these murderers had finished the job.

I started to scream. Ray Vecchio didn't know, he couldn't understand, but I had to get in there, I had to....

I knew I was making a terrible scene, but I couldn't stop.

“Hold him...” a voice sounded. “It should take effect quickly.”

There was a painful prick in my upper arm and the darkness closed in around me… my world was gone.

 

The sun was warming my face as I woke up slowly. My limbs felt heavy and clumsy as I tried to shift on the bed and right myself. It was useless. I turned my head to the side and my sight landed on my friend.

“Where am I?” I croaked out. My head was throbbing and I couldn’t remember too much from earlier in the day. No... Something was wrong. The sun was wrong. It couldn’t be the same day. This was morning from the sunshine on my face.

“You scared the shit out of me, Benny.” Ray Vecchio was smiling, but he had shadows under his eyes, as though he’d been awake all night.

I rubbed a tingling hand over my face. Trying to get my bearings, I shifted on the bed again. ‘What happened?’

“Yeah… you scared the shit out of _me too_.” I heard another familiar voice and before my miscombobulated brain could register who it belonged to, it continued on. “I get myself moved to a quieter room and next thing I know, they’re wheeling you in here, completely out of it. They said you freaked out, Ben. What the hell happened?”

I whipped my head around as fast as my drug induced state would allow and stared into the eyes of _my Ray._ He was alive and well- his hair flattened from the pillow, his smile irrepressible. _‘Oh God...’_ It was slowly starting to come back to me. Lunch with Francesca… the commotion in his room… oh God, the crash cart and the doctors shaking their heads.

“Benny.”

I heard my name but couldn’t take my eyes off my Ray. I couldn’t even move to get closer to him, my limbs were still uncooperative. ‘What was in that prick to the arm?’ I wondered.

“When you were at lunch with Frannie, they needed Kowalski’s room. So, they moved him to the PCU and gave his room in the ICU to another patient.” My friend sounded apologetic, as though it was his fault I’d made a fool of myself. “The hospital is full and they needed a room quick. I’m sorry, Benny. There wasn’t time to tell you.” I managed to look back at my other Ray. He passed his hand wearily over his head. “I was on my way downstairs to find you- missed you ‘cause you took the elevators. That must have been when the guy in Ray’s room crashed.” Ray Vecchio looked at me, and I could see clearly how much I had frightened him. “I was trying to explain it to you, we all were, but you wouldn’t listen. I’m so sorry, Benny, but they had to sedate you. You were... uhm. You were freaking out pretty badly.”

"You should have seen it, Ben,” Ray chuckled. “He went all Bookman on them, when they wanted to put you in a _crazy_ room. Don't want to get on _that_ man's bad side. Besides,” he added more seriously. “The doctors realized he was right. You only freaked out because you were worried about me.” I wasn’t worried, I thought, I was terrified. “And like Vecchio said, there's not a lot of room in this hospital right now." Ray reached out his hand. "Which is fine by me, if we get to be cozy together.”

“You’re not… _dead._ ” I reached my hand out towards Ray’s extended one. I needed to touch him to make sure for myself.

“Far from it…” he assured me with an affectionate smile.

My other Ray helped me sit up, and held me steady until the room stopped spinning. When I was sure I wouldn’t fall over, he helped me take the two steps over to Ray’s bed.

“ _Thank you,_ ” I managed to say. I looked up at him - he really did seem exhausted. “Are you alright, Ray?”

“Besides being shit scared? Yeah, I’m fine now.”

My Ray snorted. “He won’t tell you, but he’s been awake all night.”

“All _night?”_

“Yeah, Benny.” My first Ray looked uncomfortable. “When you woke up, they put you on a drip thing, to keep you under. You were still pretty agitated. You’re probably gonna be out of it for a while...”

“All _night?”_ I repeated, proving his point. “Oh dear,” I added. “I’m sorry.” No wonder my friend looked tired. He’d been watching over us through the still of the night.

“It’s okay, Benny. I’m fine, honestly.” I nodded. I knew how much I owed him, and I would make it up to him, but... for now all I could think of was Ray. My friend understood and gave my shoulder a tender squeeze. I grasped my Ray’s hands tightly in mine.

“I’m okay too, Ben.” Those words were music to my ears. I leaned forward and kissed him. It was full of desperation and love. I heard the door click shut and realized Ray had left to give us some privacy. And hopefully some sleep.

 

~*~

It's always strangely humiliating talking to a psychiatrist in the line of duty. We have our annual checkups after all, but it was particularly embarrassing having to see one under such circumstances.

“Mr. Fraser,” he said, “would you like to talk with me privately, or...”

"No!" I reach out and grabbed Ray's hand, desperately. "No, Ray can stay, that is - if you want to." I suddenly blushed at how selfish I was being… of course Ray wouldn't want to hear everything that was wrong psychologically wrong with Benton Fraser.

"Hey, it's okay, Ben. I'll stay, if the doc doesn't mind."

So, Ray stayed, and it did make it easier.

By the end of the session, I was feeling unburdened and exposed at the same time. I'd never talked so much - Ray kept encouraging me, and I finally found myself able to talk about my mother's death, how I found her, and later how I came to Chicago on the trail of... well, more terrible luck, really. The doctor nodded.

"I see, well, that does help make sense of your episode yesterday."

"My _behavior_..." Oh Lord, I'm so ashamed. I can't quite remember how bad it was.

"Yes," the doctor says. "You seemed to think that the doctors were murdering your partner. Given your history of trauma, that makes a lot more sense now, and you seem sensible today. I think you may have a case of PTSD, and recent events, combined with upcoming surgery, have brought it to a head. If you don't mind, I'm recommending you stay another night in the hospital..."

"Oh, thank God."

The doctor smiled. "And I'll remind the nurses what your other friend said. You'll be able to share this room with your partner."

"Thank you..."

"Don't thank me yet. I'm also strongly recommending you see a psychiatrist."

"Oh dear..."

 

Ray and I had slept off and on the remainder of the day. By the end of the evening, I was feeling more like myself. The drug the doctors had administered to sedate me, had finally worked its way out of my system and I could finally think clearly. Ray Vecchio had promised to look after Diefenbaker for another night.

“Stella will love it,” he said with a crooked grin. “Remind Kowalski, we need to get looking at puppies before the baby gets here.” He nodded to my sleeping partner and then looked me square in the eye. “You okay now, Benny?”

I looked away from his concerned eyes and fidgeted with my hospital bracelet.

“I am now.” I confessed, still ashamed at my _breakdown_. “Thank you, Ray, for being there for us. You’re a good friend.”

He stood up from his chair and met me at the edge of my bed. “I love you, Benny, you know that, right?”

“Of course, Ray.” I looked up and met his gaze when he placed his hands on either side of my shoulders.

“I’m saying this as that ‘good friend’, because I care about you.”

My stomach clenched and I knew what was coming. “You need to talk to someone…” I dropped my head as he continued on. “And I need to as well, to deal with my own Vegas shit I can’t let go of. We’re not fucked up, Benny, we just… we need to get it out of ourselves and let a professional help us deal with it.”

A tear escaped from my eye and slid down my cheek. I knew he was right.

“So… we do this together? You and me, get our heads back on straight so we can take care of the people we love.” He cocked his head at Ray’s sleeping form tucked securely under his covers.

The psych doctor that met with me earlier in the day had already suggested seeing a counselor, but I had brushed it to the side. My friend helped me see that it wasn’t a sign of weakness on my part or his to talk to someone. If I was honest with myself, I truly needed some help to deal with all the tragedy in my life. No more pretending everything was always okay.

Pulling my friend into a warm embrace, I cried softly into his shoulder. “I’ll do it.”

“Me too, Benny… for you, for Stella, my baby and… _myself_.” He patted my cheek and left the room quietly.

Turning onto my side to face Ray, I settled back onto my bed. I pulled the covers over myself, tucking them under my chin, just as my mother did when I was a child. I lay there quietly, listening for Ray’s breathing. In… out, in… out, in…out. The rhythm was lulling me to sleep. I fought hard to remain awake, in case… well, in case he stopped breathing. It was persistent, however and never faltered once.

I awoke completely refreshed, for the first time in… _years._

 

I didn’t leave Ray’s side the rest of the day and the night nurse had to threaten me in order to get me to leave that evening. She then patted my arm and smiled. “I will call if he needs you, I promise.” I left knowing he was in good hands.

The night they sent me home, I didn’t sleep well and woke up at three am. Dief was beside the bed whining. I think he knew I was having a rough time being away from Ray. I slipped out of bed and settled onto the floor beside him, petting his neck. My hand settled on his scar and he whimpered.

“It’s all over boy.” I told him as I continued petting behind his ears. “Ray will be home in a few days and he’s going to be okay.” Dief laid his head in my lap. “She’s gone and can’t hurt any of us anymore.” He let out a short yip. “Yes… I’m glad too.”

~*~

The doctor handed me a duplicate list of Ray’s restrictions before discharging him. I looked it over and fought hard not to laugh. Ray was going to go crazy. No pushing, pulling, strenuous anything…

 

“ _No sex?”_ He asked when we got home and settled. “That’s not strenuous.”

“Ray,” I warned. “We’re not taking any chances on you relapsing.”

“How is that strenuous?” he asked baffled.

I placed the mail on the counter and walked over to where he was leaning against our bedroom door. I pinned him there with my gaze and settled my lips on his. It was a slow kiss and he opened his mouth inviting me in. I pulled back and he was panting.

“That was only a kiss, Ray.”

“Point taken,” he sulked.

~*~

 

A week later, my surgeon talked about risks and complications from my upcoming surgery. Ray held my trembling hand tightly and squeezed it three times, ‘We got this, we’re gonna be alright, I love you.’

We went home and threw Ray’s one restriction out the window. He pressed me up against the wall just inside the apartment door and breathed desperately into my ear. “I can’t wait anymore, Ben…”

We made love, fast and desperate and then slow and perfect. Neither one of us were sure when the next time was that we would be able to do so. Ray and I stayed in bed, under the covers the remainder of the day and just held each other. Explored each other’s bodies, kissed each other’s scars. Fell deeper in love...

 

The doctors seemed optimistic that the bullet could be removed with limited complications, but I wasn’t so sure. ‘Limited complications.’ What did that even mean? Even so, I tried to have faith. Medical technology had come a long way since I was initially shot.

There was only one way to find out. Ray clung to me before they wheeled me off to surgery. I squeezed his hand three times before I was taken away. I saw him talking with the surgeon out of the corner of my eye and was relieved he didn’t forget my request. The doctor shook his hand and a nurse led Ray to the waiting room.

~*~*~

They told me surgery was to take at least four hours. I began pacing the length of the waiting room. Waiting was never a strong suit of mine. I was relieved when Vecchio showed up with a large cup of coffee. ‘Coffee, why didn’t I think of that?’ I thanked him and we settled in for the wait. He could tell I was nervous. Yeah, well, he was nervous too. When I’m nervous, I can’t stay still. When he’s nervous, I mean really nervous, he locks down. Battered child syndrome or something, like he’s trying to make himself small. I couldn’t have stayed seated if you’d paid me, he sat like a statue. Before long, I was up pacing again. ‘God,’ I thought, ‘I’m gonna go mad here...’

“Hey,” his voice broke into my silent thoughts. “Can I ask you a question?”

I looked at him unsure if I wanted to answer. I wasn’t in the mood for a game of twenty questions, but being in this position before, I think he already assumed that. I nodded my head.

“Sure.” I sat down in the hard plastic chair beside him and took a swig of my coffee. “What’s up?”

Vecchio’s expression grew serious. “Why do you still have my name on your locker at the station? I never noticed it until that day when... uhm...” He looked embarrassed. “You know, that day we, er... parted ways and I got covered in mud. So, I kind of... well, I stopped by the station to get cleaned up before I went home.”

“Yeah,” I breathed a laugh. “Stella wouldn’t have been pleased with all that mud.”

“Can’t say I was either.” He smiled then continued. “So, I was walking by the lockers, I stopped when I saw my name written in black on masking tape at the top of your locker.” He took a drink of his own coffee and thought about his next words. “I almost ripped it off… but something stopped me.”

His question was out of left field. I had my reasons for keeping _his_ name on _my_ locker.

It was just difficult to explain them. I tried my best. “Vecchio’s a good name and I was told by a lot of people that you were a good man.” I shrugged a little. “I hoped that I had done your name proud while I was undercover as you. I was proud to be the one chosen to represent you. Not that we look anything alike…”

“Or dress anything alike.” He laughed and then grew serious. “You did a damn fine job, Kowalski. I don’t believe I ever thanked you.”

Vecchio held out his hand for me to shake. I shook it and then pulled him into a fierce hug. I knew I could always count on his support. I let go of him and we settled next to each other on the hard chairs. “I hope you and Stella have a little boy, to carry on the Vecchio name. It’s a good name. _You_ made it a good name, Ray, and _you are_ a good man.”

“Thank you.” Vecchio smiled at his feet, like he was shy. “I’m trying to be that man again.”

 

A doctor showed up four hours later and told me Ben had been moved to a recovery room and then would be moved to a private room. “A nurse will come and get you when he is settled.” He shook my hand and then placed a small object into my sweaty palm and closed my fingers tightly over the object. “I believe it was a success.” He nodded to Vecchio, who was now by my side and left us alone.

I turned to my friend. “I’ll be… back.”

I found the nearest men’s room and lost the contents of my stomach. I was dry heaving when I heard the restroom door open and shut. A water faucet was turned on and a plastic cup of water was offered to me. I rinsed my mouth and spit it into the toilet. I flushed the vomit and fear away. I came out and sank against the wall, settling on the cold tiled floor.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I need a minute… or five, and then I’ll be okay.”

Vecchio settled onto his own tile, not once complaining about wrinkling his suit. “Take twenty.” He smiled softly. “I’ve been there. I know how you feel.” On the floor of the men’s room in the noisy hospital, Ray Vecchio assured me, we would be okay.

“Don’t tell Ben I freaked, okay.”

He laughed. “What’s there to tell?” He shrugged and made himself comfortable against the wall. “Hey, at least we didn’t have to sedate you.”

~*~

Fraser’s room was almost identical to the one I had spent a week in. I hoped they gave him a more comfortable bed than the one I had. Vecchio had stayed with me until Ben first woke up. He needed to see for himself that Ben was okay as much as I did. He squeezed Ben’s hand with the promise to return later. I don’t think Ben ever acknowledged him; he was too out of it.

The first few days, I just sat by his bedside. He slept, while I read. His father’s journals had become very interesting to me and I read one right after the other, engrossed in his tales of life, duty and fatherhood. I had a lot of time on my hands, waiting for Ben to become coherent enough to carry on an actual conversation with me, and I learned a lot about Ben through his Dad’s journals. The differences in the way the two upheld their duty, the differences in the way they loved their partners. I wondered if there would be a difference in the way they cared for their children should Ben and I ever adopt. That was a question for much later, and one that couldn’t be answered by reading a journal.

The Vecchio family had all made their round of visits. I was grateful Ray had offered us his home and his assistance. I was doing better physically, and could probably hack it at home by myself, but I didn’t want to be alone. I needed to be around friends to help comfort me, when Ben had a bad day.

 

A week after his surgery, I got my first letter from Greta. Vecchio had stopped to check our mail and brought it to the hospital when he came for his visit. Stella had worked her magic and Greta had been moved to a better facility. She even got a few years knocked off her sentence for her cooperation. Although, what she told us never actually led to Victoria, it helped us figure out a few other things. As promised, I had started writing her letters. I sent three before I got my first response. I was eager to show her that someone cared for her.

Ben was still asleep, when I slit open the letter. I stared at what looked like a child’s handwriting. Ben often picked at my scribble, but at least mine is legible. At least hers wasn’t written in cursive. I let out a snort when I read my butchered name. So, ‘Kowalski’ isn’t that easy to spell, I’ll give her that.

_Ray Kowlsi,_

_Please forgive me for my late reply. I was not sure you would actlly write and when you did, I was suprised. Thank who ever it was responsible for getting me moved. It is still prison, but at least no more mice. And tell your friend, not the one that was mean to me, but the other one, the Mountie, that I am sorry for trying to hurt him._

_I am getting some classes now, to learn more and get my diploma._

_Thank you for thinking of me,_

_Greta_

 

My heart ached for the woman and I vowed to not let her down. I folded the letter and slipped it back into the envelope just as Ben stirred awake. I got up from my chair and settled myself on the edge of his bed. He smiled wearily at me and I could tell he was in pain. I called for the nurse with a push of the button on his bed and he groaned. He hated the meds, but was always grateful, once they were in his system.

“How’d you sleep?” I asked as I rubbed a hand across his forehead and down his cheek. I smiled when he turned into my touch.

“Better than last night.” He replied with a small smile. He was gaining a little bit of strength with each passing day. I leaned forward and kissed him.

“Good,” I whispered into his ear. “Closer to going home.” I sat up again as the nurse came in to check Ben’s vitals. “You know, Ben… Stella’s been cooking up a storm. She can’t wait to have you try her avocado soup. Vecchio and I won’t touch it… it’s _green_ for God’s sake. She told me at least you appreciate her efforts in the kitchen.” That drew a smile to his face.

“You don’t give her enough credit, Ray.” He squeezed my hand and I smiled broadly in return. His grip was getting stronger every day. “Stella brought me some of her soup yesterday when Ray took you to lunch. It was delicious.”

“Ah, so she’s sneaky…” I playfully slapped his thigh, secretly gauging his reaction.

“I can feel that, you know…” he warned.

Closing my eyes, I let out the breath I knew I had been holding. ‘Thank you God for huge favors.’ Even though the doctors said his surgery had been a success and all he needed now was time and some therapy, it still scared me that it could still go the other way.

“Hey…” Ben grabbed my hand and locked our fingers together. “I’m going to be okay. I just need a little bit of time.”

~*~

Ben got stronger with each passing day. He had good days and bad days and some really horrible days. But eventually, the bad out-numbered the horrible and the good replaced the bad. By the end of his third week in the hospital, the doctors had given him the all clear to go home. Well, _home_ would be the Vecchios’ for another few weeks, but we still considered that home.

 

Ben was relaxing on the couch reading a book, when I picked up his feet and placed them in my lap and settled myself into the opposite end of the couch facing him. Dief was on the floor beside the couch sleeping peacefully. Ben had one hand holding his book and the other resting on Dief’s head.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked him. He marked his page with a photo of us and took off his reading glasses.

“Of course.” He looked at me intently and I realized that I might have just scared him a little.

“It’s nothing serious… well, it is… but it’s not. You know what I mean?” I knew I wasn’t making much sense.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He let out a small laugh and that helped ease some of my tension.

“I’ve been thinking… for a while now, actually. Before I knew about… well, about Stella and the uhm… the baby.”

“Ray,” he started to cut me off. There it was… the Fraser knuckle swipe to the eyebrow. My heart sank.

“I was just thinking about us and maybe having a family of our own.” I grew quiet waiting for him to respond.

“I’m in no condition to be caring for a child, Ray. I can’t even take care of myself right now.”

“Not now, you doofus.” I swatted his leg. Sometimes my partner could be so dense. “I’m talking when you get better and get your legs back under you completely. You know… maybe start looking into it in about six months or so.”

Ben placed his book on the coffee table and sat up straighter on his end of the couch. His face grew serious. “Is that what Victoria was talking about when she mentioned I couldn’t give you the child you’ve always wanted?”

I shuddered at the mention of her name but knew I needed to explain. “I told her that I wanted to have a family with the man I love. I want to share our love with another person, Ben. I want to give a child as much love as I have for you.” I stopped talking when he looked doubtful. “I swear this has nothing to do with Stella and Vecchio having a baby on the way.”

“Ray, I don’t think I can handle an infant?” Ben shocked me with his straight forward response.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be a baby, Ben.”

“Oh…” He leaned forward and took my hands from his feet. “I’ll think about it.”

I climbed over the top of his legs and held his warm face in my hands and kissed him until I ran out of air. “Greatness…” One more quick kiss and I climbed off the couch and handed him his book off the coffee table. “Stella’s gonna stay here with you for a few hours.” I leaned in close to his ear and whispered. “Vecchio and I are going to get her a puppy. Keep your trap shut and don’t spill the beans.”

Dief whimpered from the floor. “You zip it too fur- face. No telling her.”

Vecchio and I left on a mission…

 

Stella and Ben were in the kitchen preparing dinner. Ben was sitting at the counter helping her chop vegetables. He still wasn’t strong enough to stand for long periods of time. I casually walked in and kissed him on the cheek. He wrinkled his nose. I knew he could smell the puppy on me. Hell, it peed on me once playing with it and once on the way home.

“Dinner’s almost ready, Ray.” Stella told me from the other side of the kitchen.

“Okay, I just need to go change real quick.” I squeezed Ben’s shoulder as he tried to hide his smile.

Vecchio had come into the kitchen holding the squirming puppy. I stopped in the hall and turned around to see her reaction. She heard the whimpering and thought it was Dief.

“Ben, what’s wrong with Diefenbaker?” She asked with her back to him.

“Nothing, Dief is fine.” Vecchio was by Ben’s side, smiling. Stella turned around.

“Well… then what was that …” She dropped her spoon and looked at her husband. “That’s a puppy, Ray.” She was by his side in an instant scooping the brindle colored boxer puppy out of his hands. “Oh my God, it’s adorable. Is it ours?”

“Ours? No baby… it’s _yours_.” I walked up behind Vecchio and slapped the back of his head. “Ok… it’s _ours_.” I grinned triumphantly. Vecchio told me after the Victoria fiasco, he liked the idea of a dog around to protect his family.

I went and changed while the Vecchios’ fussed over the puppy. Dinner was going to be late, but we had better things to do. I returned to the kitchen with my own surprise. I turned Ben on his swivel barstool and placed a sleeping husky puppy into his lap. I shrugged my shoulders like it was nothing that needed to be thought about. “What? Vecchio said his puppy needed a playmate.”

Ben stared at the puppy sound asleep on his lap. He looked back at me like I had given him the best gift in the world. “He’s perfect.”

 

So, we played with puppies the rest of the night. Our puppy had its own purpose.

Depression is an ugly word and nobody wants to admit to being depressed, but I knew that Ben was there. A counselor had been seeing him twice a week since he left the hospital to finally deal with the tragedies in his life. He was getting better, but I knew that he was feeling useless in his current physical state. His emotional well- being was being taken care of, but his physical was something that he needed to work on. I noticed Ben getting up off the couch more often and taking longer walks around the house more frequently with the puppy and Dief following behind. He was getting there, step by step.

I had to pull Dief aside and have a heart to heart with him one day when I caught him off by himself sulking. “Listen, boy… the puppy isn’t replacing you, it’s joining the family. You’re its big brother now. You need to start teaching it things. Like how to swipe doughnuts without Ben seeing you.” Dief yipped. “I knew you’d see things my way. Come on… let’s take those two for a walk. See if they can keep up.”

~*~*

Ray placed our bags into the backseat of the car ready to take us home. We had been at the Vecchios’ for a month and felt we were finally ready to go home. I was much steadier on my feet these days. Stella was outdoors with Ray and the puppies while my friend helped me gather up a few of the puppies chew toys.

“It was good to have you and Kowalski here, Benny.”

“Thank you for your hospitality, Ray. Your friendship has meant everything to me.” I took a seat on the couch. Patting the cushion next to mine, I asked him to have a seat. “I have something for you.”

Ray sat down and scooted back. “I don’t want another puppy. You know that thing has eaten three pairs of my shoes already and hasn’t touched a single thing of Stella’s.”

I laughed knowing exactly what he was talking about. Our own puppy had its own chewing preferences, usually the end of my pant leg. “No… _no more_ puppies. You have a baby to get ready for in a few months.”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box. I had been planning this for some time, and now that the moment had come, I was nervous. My fingers were trembling as I held it out to my friend. ‘Oh dear,’ I thought, as my nose started to run. I knew the tears were about to follow. I had told my Ray what I was about to do and he graciously cleared the house for me. “Don’t worry, Ben, I’ll run around the yard with the pups.” I smiled at the image, even though I was so near tears.

My friend was looking at me, concerned. “What’s this, Benny?” He took the box from my trembling hands, growing confusion written on his face.

Taking a deep breath, I explained. “I told you I would give it back if I could, take away everything I ever put you through. Finally, make peace with my decisions.”

Ray’s eyes widened as realization set in.

“God, Benny,” he whispered. He lifted the object between his fingers, and tears rose to his own eyes.

Inside the small box I had tied a tiny white ribbon around his bullet. “She’s _finally_ behind us.”


End file.
